! ... Gerardus'  25,000  Posts ... !

~ My Pages and my Posts are my Legacy ~
( Do not laugh so loud - I am already doing That )

... My point here Is ...
How could I possibly have a Legacy
when I as an illusionary person know that I do not actually Exist?

For more on This
... Gerardus Speaks ...

09 - 2002

           Here follow some the posts I wrote to TriLite and other Lists.
                            ... Have fun and Enjoy ...

         ! WOW - All I can say is that I sure wrote a lot of posts - WOW !

                                  = = = = = = =

From gerardus@otvcablelan.net Sat Jan 05 14:58:19 2002
Envelope-to: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
Date: Sat, 05 Jan 2002 14:30:10 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
Subject: We are the One Energy...

Gerardus here: 
The universe, high and low, is infinite and changes in the same fashion as 
the cells in our body change. Our body is not infinite - but in a way it is 
- for it produces new bodies, etc etc. Also, we live in new bodies on 
purpose, whenever the time comes, in order to have different experiences. 
Each body and brain has different possibilities... 

The mind living in these bodies does not change much when we change bodies, 
and "what" moves from body to body, is what we call our soul. We identify 
with this for longer periods than the vehicles we live in. The soul is 
"that" what expands in Understanding which is Love. In the long run, our 
souls disappears like our bodies do. All bodies and souls are illusions. In 
actuality all things are The One Energy - becoming aware of ITself! There 
is but one "I" - this identity is the Creator or the One Energy. We are 
this "I". Human beings are temporary-sub-personalities of this one "I"...

I do not think there is a Void as the Sages speak of. The Reality of the 
Void lives as the Manifestation or as the Created in all densities 
and/or dimensions - IT IS the One Energy being ITself. The Void or the 
concept of it - is a human invention... 

There is nothing else but the One Energy - Gerardus 


Date: Fri, 25 Jan 2002 11:38:01 -0800
To: 4d-special@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [4D-S] Thoughts about Black Holes...
Reply-To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com

Hello 4-Ders...

Gerardus here: 
Black Holes in actuality are "portals" that transfer State of Minds 
(Energy) from one dimension to another. What scientists are able to see and 
theorize is based on our present knowledge and imagination. It is but 
little. Our thought compared to what really goes on is like the thought of 
a tree thinking about the sun. What would a tree understand about the sun? 
What do we understand about the sun? And its cycles... Very little...

States of Minds form all things, including worlds like ours. There actually 
is no matter. There is only consciousness in certain forms. Some of this we 
call matter. We do this because we as bodies are also states of 
consciousness - as matter bodies. We are energy fields meeting other 
energy fields and "think" that there is something "out there". We are 
energy affected by other energies...

We live in an illusionary universe: 
In actuality, there is no "out there". ALL is MIND! We are this Mind. So 
what's happening any place, takes place in our mind. That's why we are able 
to become aware of what we think is going on some place. We become aware 
of other aspects of ourselves. The universe in all its dimensions and/or 
densities is actually One Energy in different forms and levels of being. We 
are IT! We are a Morphogenetic and Holographic Phenomenon...

The human being is like a leave on a tree, the leave is an active part of 
the tree and keeps it alive. We keep the universe alive - we are IT! The 
leaves of a tree are its faces. They catch energy from the sun that is 
later stored inside the tree. We as human beings do the same thing, except 
that we store energy in our awareness as States of Mind or Thoughts - which 
is the Universal Mind in the first place. There is but one Mind! Thoughts 
are Energy. They form States of Mind which forms things - like universes... 
or children... or frogs... or Gerardian Stories...

My Black Hole story for now - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2002 10:37:00 -0800
To: 4d-special@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [4D-S] The World is a Lie!
Reply-To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com

The World is a Lie!
The bankers lie and steal. 
The religions lie and collect. 
The politicians lie and bribe. 
The big conglomerates lie and create wars. 
The entire world is based on lies, money and power. 
While the masses of the world are victims of their ignorance.

What is a wise and honest man to do?
A wise and honest man has the easiest job of all of them. He does not have 
to do anything but watch what's going on. All he does is watch and observe! 
A wise and honest man does not try to teach the masses, he does not try to 
enlist or fight in wars, he does try to correct the politicians, he does not 
try to bring truth to the religions, and he does not invest his money in 
stocks and bonds... 

All he does is do his job, and keeps his thoughts on his infinite goal. He 
has no ego, he has no ambitions and he does not need friends. He is his own 
friend, and all he does is observe and be! Be his authentic self seeing the 
world pass on by. He is mindful of each passing day. He knows that the true 
values of Life are not represented by the values of the world. He knows that 
the world is a glittering show of nonsense - where the bigger the lie, the 
more it needs to be repeated...

In Bliss and Smiles - Gerardus


Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2002 16:25:49 -0800
To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [4D-S] What is REAL?

Someone asks what it REAL?

My Answer:
Nothing is real!  But YOU. The One You Are...

All things are virtual, or some kind of energy that we could call 
"consciousness" - it is an energy that is capable of appearing in an 
unlimited amount of forms. Some are animated some are not. Naturally all 
forms are alive anyway for they all consist of tiny moving energy "aspects". 
Our scientists call them atoms or other names. These aspects are not what 
they are named! 

I call them "aspects" for they are "aspects" of the Whole, of the Infinity 
of Energy, Mind, or Consciousness. There are no parts or portions of this 
Energy. It is One Thing or One Phenomenon. It is able to seemingly divide 
itself and the seemingly divided aspects are able to confuse other seemingly 
divided aspects. Funny universe indeed! 

So what is real? 
The only thing real is the IAM - the Observer! All the rest is magic. The 
IAM or the One that lives in all things, is capable of being itself, by 
means of, and in spite of all things. It is all things and lives as all 
things or beings. It is the Saint and the Sinner. It is ONE ENERGY, from 
which we as human beings are temporarily seemingly isolated. We do this to 
ourselves, in order to play this Game of Separation we call the Matter 
Universe and all that is in it. The matter universe is but a small aspect of 
the Whole!

The matter or physical universe is an illusion. It is the One Energy in 
certain forms and it poses as whatever you think you see, and/or think you 
are as a human being. In actuality you are the IAM or the ONE. Temporarily 
we have separated from our Whole Self and play this game of separation. 
Being "cut-off" from our Wholeness is a pretty weird situation for literally 
we "lose-it" and become next to Mad or Crazy - we start killing each other. 
It really means that we are killing ourselves. There is No Other...

We do all this, because we have bought into the illusion of matter and think 
it as real. We think that we as human beings are real as well - not so. We 
are dreaming holographic figments of the Infinite Dreamer - the ONE. We are 
temporary dreams thinking that we are real! The whole of Life, in all planes 
of being - is a Dream! Nothing more, nothing less. There naturally are 
dreams within dreams within dreams ad infinitum. Can it be explained? 
Possibly - but it might be a lot easier to see through it the easy way by 
going within. Not that this will solve anything for most come back out. The 
best thing to do is - is to enjoy it as much as possible, just the way it 
is. The dream will change and/or pass...

At the moment in this time-period, we are further removed from our Wholeness 
than in times past. (Say 500.000 years ago) We as human beings, go through 
stages of separation and connecting again, again and again. We do this until 
we become bored with it and then possibly conjoin with the Big One. However, 
I see no need for it, once a certain state of Mind or Bliss has been 
reached. Life then becomes enjoyable to the limit, Even in the physical - 
yes. All it takes is awareness and more awareness, and then more awareness 
yet! There is lots to go around for it is unlimited in scope and it is up 
to each "Individual Aspect of The Whole" to come and get it...

About the Outer and Inner. There really is neither Inner nor Outer, except 
in the illusionary mode/state in which we live. There is the One, which in 
its dreams appears to itself, as if there is an Inner and an Outer. Not so! 
We are the One or the Universe - completely! In our present mode or state of 
mind it only seems that there is an Inner and an Outer. We created this mode 
on purpose in order to get lost in it. We succeeded! In this mode we create 
on the (so called) Outside, that what we are on the (so called) Inside. 
Creation is an Expression of the One, that seemingly lives within. In the 
mean time, it *IS* all One Thing for the One is All and All is the One! 
We are and live in the Universe. It is our Home and our Work. There is no 
other Home or Work around anywhere. We are always HOME - wherever we go...

Life is a Celebration of the Creator living as the Created - Gerardus 
(Quitting right here - lack of time) See my pages if you like...

|      | 
@`    |   
| ,__ |      Here's the Cosmic Honey for Be-ers. 
\ / \              http://www.soulwise.net/  
/_\_\        http://www.soulwise.net/quoter33.htm 
/ \ \        http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/CosmicCookies  
/ \ \ 
/ \ \


Gerardus here:
I have worked on this for a while, and one needs to use a fixed font like 
Courier New, or similar, in order to observe this properly. The horizontal 
distance between lines A and B indicates the measure of awareness enjoyed 
by the beings residing upon the indicated densities from 1 to 7.  The Top 
Level enjoys unlimited awareness. That's where we're all going eventually. 
However, do not hold your breath for this could be a while.  In the mean 
time, I hope you enjoy this picture.  It indicates very roughly what the 
Progression of Universal Consciousness or Awareness is all about...

  ! The area Here is where The Infinite Universal Mind dreams Creation !
    Naturally it cannot be depicted by lines, but for now I did anyway.

              This is the level of pure Consciousness, or the
                  Level of the Unlimited Dreamer in Bliss.

                  This is where The Infinite Light or God 
                   and its many co-joined Buddies reside.
                           (The Almighty Ohmers)

  The God-Level                                                 Density #7
-------------------\  -   -   -    -     -   -   -   -  /------------------
  Co-Creators       \                                  /
  and Masters        A                                B         Density #6
----------------------\--  --  --   -   -  --  --  --/---------------------
  Heaven or Plane      \                            / 
  of Contemplation      \                          /            Density #5
-------------------------\--- --- - --- - --- ----/------------------------
  Helpers, Guides,        \                      /
  Lizzies-Greys (Astral)   A                    B               Density #4
----------------------------\--- ----  ---- ---/---------------------------
                             \                /
  Human Beings                \              /                  Density #3
-------------------------------\----- ------/------------------------------
                                \          /
  Plants and Animals             A        B                     Density #2
                                   \    /
  Molecule, Atoms, and Smaller      \  /                        Density #1

Gerardus here gain:
As you can see, the dotted lines between lines A and B become more and more
"open" towards the Top. This indicates that we are becoming more and more 
consciously aware of The Infinite Light We Are...

It is also possible that there are 12 or 15 Densities and/or Dimensions. I do 
not know. It depends on what teachings one studies and/or how one splits up 
something that is One Phenomenon. Dividing the Whole in partitions is a human 
thing naturally...

See you at the Top - Gerardus


Date: Wed, 06 Feb 2002 10:02:17 -0800
To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [4D-S] Big Bangs are Head Things...
Reply-To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com

Gerardus here: 
The universe, high and low, is not some kind of phenomenon that can be 
understood by Mankind in its present form. How does he dare to say when it 
began and will end - to speak as such is only proof of his ignorance...

The Universe, or Life, therefore was never the witness of its own Big Bang! 
The only Big Bang that ever takes place is the Big Bang in people's head 
when they understand who or what they are! We are, all things are, the very 
universe or creator in whatever form we find ourselves. All things are 
Self-Expressions of the Universe or the Creator. So who or what are we? We 
are the Creator in human form - learning about ourselves upon a planet 
called earth for now... 

Slowly but surely we grow in awareness, and more awareness, to eventually 
awaken to the Self We Are - In All Our Glory. How long will this take? 
Only as long as we are dreaming. For Creation and therefore all the Created 
ARE the Creator's Dream. Since we are this Creator - it is our Dream we 
must awaken from. We do this by living lives as human beings at the moment, 
again and again - until we stop dreaming and calculating when and where the 
Universe began. What a ridiculous idea. God IS Creation...

Infinitely busy - Gerardus 


Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2002 19:38:49 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Why is Gerardus here?

Excellent Question and one of my silent ones! 

Yes, there is no solution in the teachings of Osho, Michael, Paul Brunton, 
Adi Da, Muktananda, Sri Aurobindo, Buddha, Baba Neem Karoli, Ram Dass, Allan 
Watts, Gary Zukav, Deepak Chopra, Mister Zen, and any and all other masters 
or semi-masters, including the kling-ons like Gerardus and/or Pete the 
Nepper down the block. The teaching the masters had, was THEIR teaching and 
it was good for them. WE have to find our own. Also, at moments of great 
enlightenment under stress - I feel that no teaching is of any value 
whatsoever, for all of them are but stories. My Motto is: WE ARE the Truth 
and the Reality and all the rest is Magic. So why bother?

In the mean time, my ideas or thoughts about what Percival has written has 
not changed that much. As a matter of fact, he might have given us the right 
teaching and answers. Question is - are we ready to contemplate his words? 

I thought about this a long time, a long while ago, and decided that "for 
now" it was more important, and to the best of all, for me, to continue with 
what I was doing. Learn while I share by means of my Internet Pages and 
Lists of any kind and people considering them...

All this means, that I considered it more important to share my energies, in 
whatever small way possible, with those searching and looking for the 
ordinary answer to: "why am I here" and "what I am supposed to do about it?" 
Yes, Percival has his answers, but they were not on the internet at that 
time and on top of that - most people are not ready to take his answers for 
real. His writing style and expressions are too far estranged from the 
average human mind and it might take a while before many reach his style of 
teaching, if they ever do including me...

So, one could say that I decided on my own Life and Destiny, by sharing 
whatever Energies and Knowledge is available to me, instead of becoming a 
full time student of Percival. Does he have the right answers? I do not 
know, for one needs to follow his teachings in order to prove the answer to 
oneself. I felt that I was not of that level and MOST importantly - again, I 
say MOST importantly - I did not come down here to work on myself (I do not 
think that work per se is necessary). I came to help and share whatever 
values I might have with as many as possible. Up to now - the Gods are 
smiling. In the end it does not make one iota of difference anyway...

And what about you John? - Gerardus


Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 11:06:20 -0800
To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com
Subject: RE: [4D-S] Evolution?

Gerardus here: 
Since we are living in time, I look at Life in time. 
Any other way of looking at it from my timely viewpoint 
is not my choice on this one - at this time. 
So: Enlightenment, at whatever stage or state of mind, is the result of an 
evolutionary process which eventually produces a human body and a human 
mind that is able to become more and more enlightened. This is a process 
in time and therefore in human terms expressed as Evolution of which 
awakening is a characteristic... 
Words and more words - Gerardus

Fiona here: 
This is an interesting discussion, because the way I see it is that although 
we may appear to evolve thru the passage of one lifetime, while we are doing 
one lifetime we are also doing all of our other lifetimes. The lifetimes 
where we are raping and pillaging and being "bad" and not moving towards the 
illusion of enlightenment are still just as valuable as the ones where we 
have gone all "spiritual". 

Gerardus here: 
Exactly! It's all about Experiences like you say Fiona. Life, from the 
human side (or the way I/we on 4D look at it now) could be considered a 
scenery of experiences that make us wiser. This wisdom gives us an edge in 
order to promote ourselves to another dream-level. Say 4D. 

In the mean time, all of us are "Individual Focuses in different times and 
or Incarnations" of the One Eye and we all gain our own slate of experiences 
and aspects of wisdom. Eventually we all put this together and we step up 
into the shoes of an Amalgamated Soul, like the ones who are guiding us now 
for example (Let's call them Souls/Oversouls/Guardians or what have you). 
IOW: there is a learning progression in time and in the level of awareness 
that is eventually reached by us. We could call this evolution...

>From the top level of TIL (The Infinite Light) however, there is no such 
thing as Evolution! From that level it could be call Involution or an 
Involvement with other realms. TIL involves itself with the Whole of 
Creation. It IS Creation! Personally I feel that TIL is the Infinite 
Dreamer and is NOT aware of its Dreams. It becomes aware of its Dreams from 
within its Dreamers - the Created - Guys and Dolls like us... 
Fiona here: 
All these experiences are of equal importance. 
So therefore I do not agree with the evolution theory or the moving toward 
enlightenment theory. We are IT at any given moment. We are not "moving 
towards" anything other than different states of being and experience. So 
we could be "enlightened" in this lifetime yet be doing dozens of other 
lifetimes where we are not - even we we think we are not evolving is 
probably when we are evolving the most.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, very good! All in all, TIL, or Life, is a Dream that becomes "actual" 
(or acted out) in other dimensions, densities and/or realities. And we as 
aspects of the Dreamer, are experiencing these Dreams as actual and real 
happenings ---> because we live in suits that give us these actual or real 
interpretations (The body makes illusions real). The body therefore is a 
might-machine that functions as a lens or focus FOR ourselves as well as FOR 
those capable of "seeing and experiencing" these happening by means of us... 

No doubt these Beings would have to be of a higher dimension or density OR 
Awareness. IOW: they live our lives from a different level simultaneous and 
in concert with us, who experience these lives one at a time. So, we as 
individual Souls are growing and evolving, while other but higher Souls or 
Oversouls are ALSO growing and evolving through us. 

We are their 
instruments and or tools, experiencing a reality they could not possibly 
reach or touch without instruments or tools - the bodies we live in. We 
could say that the Human Bodily Being is nothing but a necessity for Souls 
and Others to experience physical reality... 

Therefore, we need to be aware that we do not begin to think or feel, that 
we as a Body really have much to say about what needs to be experienced next 
and how. All we can do is - stay out of the way and Be The Observer to what 
happens out there and to the body, which we are not in the first place. Only 
when we feel that we are a Soul in a Body can we begin to make choices that 
benefits all. What these choices are depends on individual viewpoints...

Looking at it from the very Top now, and as the Entire Action of Creation - 
there is only Change! No Evolution or involution. Only energy exchanges 
between Beings we have called Human Beings, Souls, Greys, Dracos, 
Archangels, Devils, Spooks and whatever other names we came up with...

Does this make sense? - Gerardus


Sun Feb 17 11:45:27 2002
Date: Sun, 17 Feb 2002 11:46:40 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: The world is a Lie

At 08:24 AM 2/17/2002 -0700, you wrote: 
About this "already know" - I do not completely agree! They do not 
consciously Know - but will when they are ready. (Gerardus) 
Not conciously, perhaps. They push it away into their subconcious. You 
are right: they will look when they are ready and desire to look, when 
they lose their fear. I can hardly see how people are happy with the 
lives they live and the state of the Earth right now but, who knows?: 
maybe things are the way they are supposed to be on Earth right now? If 
you really think about it, how could it be otherwise?

Hi Nicole - Gerardus here: 
No it could not be otherwise. The masses create by default! This means the 
Governments of the Countries in the world - AND mostly the Secret Government 
of the World create "happenings" for the masses. Like war, misery and 
suffering. The masses are talked into it by being told to be Patriotic and 
defend the Fatherland. Fight Communism. Fight Terrorists. Well, the 
biggest terrorists is the USA itself. 

They are the Bad Guys!  They Lie!
War and suffering and weather changes are created because the Neiw Worrld 
Orrder People figure that there too many people on earth right now. They 
consider the masses of mankind next to animal. In many ways, we cannot blame 
the Rulers because the most ignorant people have the most children. Not 
until "education" comes through for the masses will this change. In the mean 
time it will be like this forever. 

The entire way the world is run right 
now is by Totalitarian Power - yes, even in a so called Democracy called the 
USA. Things are what they are, because they reflect the intelligence of 
mankind collectively. It's not very high. The point is - it is extremely 
difficult to raise 7 billion people/Souls to higher levels of intelligence 
and intuition. This takes ages and ages and ages! In the mean time, all of 
it is only an experience! THAT is what we as Souls come down here for... 
Gerardus here: 
>>>Seriousness and Ambition are the two biggest enemies of mankind. 
>>>They are deadly (Gerardus)

Nicole here: 
>I was just reading a book by Krishnamurti that mentioned ambition is a 
>bad thing. I am not understanding how this could be. Does it mean that 
>when you set your mind to doing one thing, you may begin to ignore the 
>other "messages" life is sending you and so you are closing your mind by 
>focusing on one thing? Will you give me your opinion on the matter, 
>explain this a bit, please?

Gerardus here: 
Yes, you got that about right. There has to be a balance. I will try to 
explain. Seriousness and Ambition combined make a person a rather reckless 
nuisance and danger to many others who do not have the same opinions. Let's 
take the RC Church at the time of the Inquisition. They killed people 
because they would not belief in Jesus and the rest of the nonsense. They 
were serious about their beliefs and ambitious about killing those who did 
not agree. I guess we can also see this in the USA Government of the last 
50 years. They dropped bombs all over the world and were trying to install 
their puppet-masters in these so called Countries they were democratizing. 

Point is, Democracy has never been tried yet! The world is run by money - 
not votes. People are brainwashed by commercials and lies and then they go 
out and vote. Is that a free choice? All this because these rulers take 
themselves serious and have ambition. The same goes for the world of 
business. They are serious about the bottom line and ambitious in merging 
with other companies so that they get a monopoly to change their bottom 
lines to more profit... 

The world is a Lie! - Gerardus


Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2002 16:58:55 -0800
To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [4D-S] Part 2 - After death communication??

John here: 
If you read Ouspensky/Gurdjieff you may even wonder 
if many humans have an actual astral body! We should not assume that all 
humans have one, that was a revelation for me, when I read that. I mean, 
why should everyone develop and Astral body? It could well be that only 
the most conscious are developing one....

Gerardus here: 
The most conscious ones have the most of everything I feel John. They have, 
or own, their Signature engraved in Energy. This Energy was once 
Unconsciousness or Unconscious Energy. In other words: we carve our own 
Soul out of Unconscious Universal Energy. We MAKE something of ourselves 
so to speak. We create Soul or Beingness! We create Awareness. Aware 
Energy or Soul Beingness!

That what we have made of ourselves re-incarnates and carves even more. A 
Soul or an Universal Unit is a self-made thing! All we got when we started 
was an empty spook so to speak... 

John here: 
And by the way, what is the true function of the chakras? Could it be to 
us? Rather than the standard New Age drivel.

Gerardus here: 
I do not know what the standard New Age drivel is. This is what I 
think/feel ---- The Chakras are the Interconnecting Energy Transducers by 
which our True Self connects and controls us - indeed! It makes us 
seemingly real in a 3D Environment. We must look at human beings are Three 
Dimensional Projections by means of the Chakras. The Chakras aspects of 
the True Self's Reflection in Matter The more they are connected the more 
one shines. These projections are not really Three Dimensional in the 
first place, for THAT is the very illusionary environment in which we think 
we live. There is no Three Dimensional Reality! There is no Objective 
Reality! Some scientists also have denied its existence. There is none! 

But if you look at a specific Energy Environment - it seems 3D. The Lens we 
look through (the body) fools us. It's all one infinite Cloud of Energy - 
doing its thing. The entire physical Creation is a Fake. THAT - I say THAT 
in and by itself, is an enormous accomplishment and calls for an outrageous 
Celebration!!! Do you get this???

John here: 
And.....do we really reincarnate? Why should we all reincarnate? If we have 
not developed sufficiently (the other vehicles) what WOULD incarnate? Hm? 
Why....nothing. Just ponder.

Gerardus here: 
The Spook Energy we are - the empty slate - reincarnate until it is full! 
It fills up by experiences, by becoming aware! Bursting Full means one 
knows that the body does not really exist for there is no 3D - or anything 
like it! It only exist when you put on a lens called body...

Living in Energy that looks like a Body - Gerardus


From gerardus@otvcablelan.net Tue Feb 19 17:05:37 2002
Envelope-to: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
Date: Tue, 19 Feb 2002 17:06:58 -0800
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [4D-S] It's all New Age Drivel...

To all 4-Ders...
The other day, we were speaking about New Age Drivel (NAD). While I was 
thinking this over - I got the following ideas:

The world and its say 7 Billion People, is an enormous amount of human-energy 
and cosmic-energy "invested" by those who run this world. They have the 
responsibility to raise these 7 Billion People/Souls to higher levels of 
awareness. This means that now and then (every two thousands years or so) 
new religions and new concepts need to be introduced to the 7 Billion in 
order to bring them along!At this particular period and change of the 
"belief systems" for this world and mankind, the existing religions will die.

 They have become redundant. 
They will be replaced by belief-systems of a different nature and 
understanding. The concept to be introduced will be the concept of 
"Self-Responsibility". The Law of One. The concepts discussed in the 
Ra-Material and others Teachings for example! IOW: Ra is IN - Jesus is OUT!

In the mean time, an enormous amount of NAD is necessary to change the 
thinking of mankind - world wide. It means that 99% of what we read and meet 
is NAD. This is fine! This is the way it is planned! It has to be this way!

The odd one of us, thinking about "ascension" or "awakening" or 
"enlightenment" naturally is fed up with this NADDY stuff. That is just the 
way it is! 

Life is a do it yourself thing. This truly means that others do 
not have OUR solutions and/or answers for our questions. NADDY stuff helps 
only so far and that is where the "Soul Hits The Matter World" and knows for 
sure it is lost. Not to be concerned - that also will be changed in the 
future. There will be more teachers and more clear answers... 

In the mean time - just hang on and smile...

- Gerardus 


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From: Gerardus 
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Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2002 19:12:18 -0800
Subject: [4D-S] Rascals versus Masters ... was Masters
Reply-To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com

A a Rascal you are free - Gerardus 

Fiona here: 
The rascal is the best master of them all. Trouble is 'real people' 
recognise the rascal as trouble and totally dismiss him/her. But that is OK too.

Gerardus here: 
I think real people know a Rascal when they see one. 
Others assume that he is a trouble maker...

God is the Genuine Master of Rascality. 
All any other Rascal can do is imitate God. 
It must be done however without trying or thinking. 
This means that one needs to become absolutely natural about it. 
This is extremely difficult since we are virtual realities by nature living 
in bodies by habit, and are inhabited by an internal dialog-repeater that 
makes us think useless thoughts, which were recorded upon our DNA strands by 
the Lizzies. It means, we think even when we think we do not think... 

The repeater within knows this and therefore denies us our own rascality 
automatically without our approval. Trouble is - that even with our approval 
- we would have no access to our own rascality because approval takes 
thinking. The Lizzies knew what they were doing all along. The only Rascal 
who still has any resemblance of Rascality is the one Rascal who fell 
through the cracks of the Lizzies' virtual reality factory of which there 
are many without cracks. This determines without any doubt whatsoever that 
a random Rascal in full flight is a genuine rarity in the ultimate sense of 
scarceness. It might even mean that one might meet a Rascal even more seldom 
than a genuine Master, visible, invisible, declared or undeclared. 
GO figure...
Resolute resilient and responsive Rascal resting its rascality in Gerardus


From gerardus@otvcablelan.net Thu Feb 28 19:40:38 2002
Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2002 19:42:24 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
Subject: Shadows Playing Games...

Gerardus here: 
Trying to explain your reasoning with your mind is something different than 
others comprehending an explanation coming from your reasoning. I cannot 
explain it any further, except to say that we live in a dream reality or 
illusion. This basically means that "anything" goes. Reasoning or no 
reasoning! Possibly the more one reasons, the more one fools oneself... 

Actually, I do not think it possible to grok the heart of the matter of 
matter by means of refined hamburger called brains. It's all an illusion 
that more or less is "meeting" other illusionary conditions and then says - 
I grok, because I am Aware Energy meeting other Energy, that in essence is 
me anyway. It's kind of meeting one's shadow in an illusion and then say, 
where do you come from? In the mean time, it's kind of fun to dream and 
think we know something. Not so really - or do we?

In the illusion I spoke of, we meet others that in actuality are ourselves 
once removed. We play games with words and eventually we see as well as 
understand that the Consciousness we all are, "facilitates" to form shadows 
of itself that seem to be alive and aware of each other, each to its own 
measure. These shadows play games... 

As soon as they become more deeply involved in the actuality of themselves, 
they understand that all shadows are really the Consciousness that 
facilitates the play. When they eventually become aware as the Facilitating 
Consciousness - they experience themselves as all others playing shadows 
and games... 

Means we are the Light casting shadows - Gerardus 


From gerardus@otvcablelan.net Sun Mar 10 09:20:04 2002
Date: Sun, 10 Mar 2002 09:22:08 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
Subject: Where is your Consciousness??

Fiona here: 
Once upon a time I would have swallowed all of the above, but now I feel 
differently. For me it is just another story. We are already living in 
4D, 5D, 6D and every other D. But the above still makes for interesting 
reading none-the-less.

Gerardus here: 
Agreed! But what you say is a paradoxical metaphysical statement that does 
not count where the rubber hit the road. We are only consciously present 
where our awareness is functioning! We are where our consciousness is! 

Which for me is not in 5D 6D 7D or higher. I am still aware of the 
billions of people living in a physical trap called the Lower Worlds of 
Physicality - namely planet Earth as it is called by us. My Soul or Higher 
Awareness - yes - it might be all over the place. I am connected to it - 
but it is beyond my personal grokker. It is not where I am presently aware. 
I do not say that I want to be aware there either. I am saying that I am 
here, because this is the happening I came to experience. It means 
experiencing "stories" of any and all kinds...

Where is YOUR Consciousness? Are you AWARE of what's happening on these 
higher planes of being? Are you AWARE of how many Soul-Aspects you as a 
Soul have going all over the Universe? Are you aware of how many lifetimes 
you have lived? On what kinds of worlds where they? Are you aware of how 
many of your forms are male or female? Are you aware on how many planets, 
3D, 4D, or any D, your aspects are calling your Soul HOME?
And yes, all words are but other stories, so what? Knowing that this is so, 
does not make us aware of the Highest Level. Yes, we are there, but only in 
an unconscious manner! It is not where our (my) conscious consciousness is. 
For me it's right on Earth, in Oliver, B.C. Canada...

Where is YOUR Consciousness Fiona? - Gerardus

Fiona here: 
My consciousness is everywhere else - as well as being here. When I am 
focused totally here I am totally here, but I can drift in and out all over 
the place. I can drive to work for instance and not remember a thing about 
it - my subconscious drove me there - my conscious mind was elsewhere. Same 
thing when I am at work typing all day - my body is doing the transcribing 
and I can be out anywhere seeing other things and experiencing different 

Gerardus here: 
I do not disagree with what you say. I do the same thing. I am the greatest 
dreamer known in Oliver so to speak. I walk to the kitchen but I am still 
thinking/dreaming of what I wrote two seconds ago. I have to be slapped 
around the ears to wake up. My mind lingers! I take my cup to have a drink 
and before I know what's going on, I have taken it out of one cupboard and 
put it back into another and walk away thirsty.

Later on, I take my cup to the bedroom so to speak.
I am absentminded! My mind is not on what I am 
doing or where my body is. 

I daydream lots. IOW: I am all over. I experience something by means 
of my thoughts, but I am not there consciously!

In addition, I just about live unconsciously in the place where my body 
really is. This to me, is not what I mean by "being all over the place and 
being conscious of it" so that I can tell what I experienced. I drift - 
but whatever I drift to and experience are only my own thoughts. Same with 
dreams. Yes, I dream - but I cannot translate them into brain expressions. 
THAT to me is NOT being or living consciously all over the place...
You say: "We are already living in 4D, 5D, 6D and every other D."

I say big deal. Consciously it means absolutely nothing to me. I know that 
what I really am is the Universal Consciousness and "I" AM present 
infinitely all over. Again - Big Deal! 

I am there, but I, personally, am totally unconscious of that fact. 
What I want to do is - go anywhere 
consciously, come back and say: Fiona is eating an apple in New Zealand and 
she had to cut out a big piece because it was rotten. She has 12 pits in it 
too! I want to bring back, to my own arm-chair, the "knowing" of what you 
or anyone else in the universe did - the moment I was there. THAT is 
consciously being present to me. Daydreams do not count. Matter of fact, 
daydreams are fine, but in a way, they do not make me live consciously 
where I am in my body in the first place. My mind wanders and it does not 
accomplish a darn thing... 

Fiona here: 
This is not like physically being in these other places, it is 
being there consciously. You could call it day dreaming, but day dreaming 
is also a viable conscious reality. 

Gerardus here: 
Aha! Now we got it. You say you go other places but you are not there 
physically. Fine! - I grok that! Then you say: that you are there 
consciously. Well, your "consciously" does not have the same meaning as my 
"consciously". Your "consciously" to me is some kind of visualization or 
absentmindedness and when I return to my body I have experienced my own 
thoughts. It means that I had thoughts, or was thinking, of something, 
unrelated to what I was doing. Like driving my car or typing a report AND 
think about something else. Fine! 

What you experience is a division of consciousness or awareness. I do not 
think that you consciously went some place, and were aware of where you 
went, and of what you experienced. Did you have a conversation with 
someone? What did you discuss? Did you get answers from the other person? 
Or was your daydream a self-generated and self-contained thought-monologue? 
Fiona here: 
My brain can only translate so much of 
what is going on in other realms because it is not possible to download much 
outside of accepted physical reality thru the brain. 
Gerardus here: 
Well, many say that this is possible, but I cannot do it. 
Some call this Farseeing! 
Fiona here: 
But I do visit some 
extraordinary places at night and I do interact with my other selves 
constantly in my near sleep and sleep state. But I have talked about all of 
this multiple times before and don't want to keep repeating the same stuff 
over and over for those who have read it all umpteen times before.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, you have talked about it many times. You have spoken that you "saw" 
everybody else as you! That is great. I grok. I know it as such, but I do 
not experience this in an emotional or feeling sense... 
Fiona here: 
I can only give you my perspective on the way I see my own reality, and it 
does exist side by side all other realities. I do not have a home planet 
because a planet is merely something we incarnate upon for said life times. 
There are probably many other planets that I have life experience upon, but 
none of them are home planet. Home is 'self' not physical locality.

Gerardus here: 
I agree with you on the statement about your side by side realities and 
that we do not have a Home Planet. Indeed - Home is Self. That says it 
pretty wonderful! 
Fiona here: 
I do not dispute the 'story' thing as a non event. It is the whole event. 
The whole of our experience in these realms is a story. We create the whole 
story. Whatever we collectively decide upon as a fixed reality will be just 
that. There are many many other stories within the main story. The webs of 
illusion. So my body is here in New Zealand, my body consciousness is also 
here with my body in New Zealand, but 'my consciousness' the 'who I really 
am' is universal. But it is not out there - it is inside me.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, I grok. For the last sentence one could say: my consciousness, the 
universal one, contains all bodies and all things. While the body I am 
consciously aware in, at this very moment, is my Fiona Focus, and it is an 
illusionary reality within the Universal Consciousness I AM...

Consciously here and nowhere else - Gerardus


From gerardus@otvcablelan.net Mon Mar 11 20:52:47 2002
Date: Mon, 11 Mar 2002 20:54:56 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
Subject: In Simple Words...

Gerardus here:
Are you ready for a tour through your Mind? 

We all know how cable TV works. We plug a solid wire into the tuner's input 
and because this solid wire is electrically charged by 500 different 
frequency bands and different signals on each band, we receive 500 different 
channels on our TV. White noise is free! Would you believe that the 
Universal Mind contains billions of channels? Sure it does! Each channel 
is a different reality... 

Please continue: 
The universe, high and low, or the cosmic mind contains an unlimited amount 
of energy that is divided into specific frequency bands and each band has 
its own signals. So, there are billions and billions of frequency bands and 
each band has its own specific pattern called reality. One of these 
frequency bands produces the reality we experience, and other frequency 
bands produce realities other beings experience. So what happens, when we 
"think-away" Time and Space and arrive in a timeless environment? 
Well, all possible or potential realities are present for all frequency 
bands vibrate simultaneously, and all bands or realities are "present" in 
the one cosmic mind. All realities hang around just for the picking. 
Naturally you have to have the right equipment to enjoy them all. We do the 
same on our TV. Usually we select our channels and watch one at the time. 
Buy 500 TVs and you can watch them all. What a bore!

The universal energy we are looking at in the cosmic mind, or are 
experiencing when we look at our body or out the window, are certain atoms, 
molecules and/or cells that have temporarily assumed a certain frequency 
pattern and this pattern makes them what they are - objects and sceneries of 
a certain kind. These atoms and cells depict to us what we think we see or 
experience. The body we live in, is a lens and it interprets the energy "out 
there", into a physical reality system, that soon becomes familiar objects 
and scenery. This "out there" I mentioned, is our own mind naturally and we 
live within this energy-sphere with the body that has own name, but is not 
us! Our cosmic mind is all around us. We live within it...

Atoms or molecules are consciousness-units (con-units from now on in) that 
have certain vibrations. Since there are billions and billions of realities 
out there, it follows that there are billions and billions of con-units that 
are in phase, with the realities in which they are created. They hold this 
pattern until it automatically fades away, because of a lack of support by 
the thought-energies that created them. All these realities are 
intermingled and/or reverberate all throughout our cosmic mind. They are 
available to each and everyone able to receive them. Reception depends on 
our awareness level. The realities are universal! 

So what is happening? Certain con-units have certain phase-angles and form 
a certain reality. Other con-units with different phase angles form other 
realities. These different phase-angle con-units exist right besides each 
other and are indifferent to each other. Now, the trick to receive certain 
con-units as a reality, depends on the frequency level we have attained. The 
higher our vibration, the greater our awareness - or the more realities we 
are able to become aware of. Our cosmic mind is an infinite con-hive of 
activity, because billions and billions of frequencies form the different 
reality-bands and their signals. These signals are either thoughts or 
manifested thoughts... 

The universe or the cosmic mind is so full of energies, of all kind and 
patterns, that it is literally a solid thing or phenomenon. If we could drop 
an anvil on it - it would ring! When we look at it however, we only see or 
experience the con-units that are in phase with the awareness level we enjoy 
or endure. So, when most of us look into Space - it seems empty. However it 
is not empty. It is burdens full of con-units! The Soul We Are and its 
individual projections (or incarnations) live within this cosmic mind, and 
we are able to become aware of what goes on in certain levels or aspects of 
this mind. Each incarnation experiences a different reality! 

What each 
personality become aware of, is in direct relation to the awareness attained 
by that person. The patterns or realities we create by means of our 
thoughts, form energy-vibrations, that do not leave this mind, but vibrate 
within all levels of it. As a matter of fact, it forms our cosmic mind. 
These vibrations or realities can be seen or experienced by anyone who is 
able to attain the awareness level of these energy-vibrations...

Since all con-units are holograms or holographic, it means that each 
con-unit contains what all other units contain. This also means that there 
is an instant communication between all units. In the mean time, there is no 
Main-Consciousness-Unit or God insight within this cosmic mind. We, as 
universal beings, are the creators and/or gods that live within this mind 
and create whatever we desire. So, all the inhabitants of the universe live 
in their own cosmic mind and create. They create their own environment, and 
if they are not capable of doing this, other beings will do this for them. 
It naturally means that the non-creators or followers are controlled or 

The cosmic mind is like the Internet - which is an unlimited amount of 
computer units inter-connected and they make up the Internet. Also, the 
universal mind never gets any bigger or smaller, it only attains more and 
more different vibrations. They form the frequency bands that are known to 
us as 1D 2D 3D 4D 5D etc. It is most likely therefore, that once in a 
blue cosmic moon, additional frequency bands are added. Like dimension or 
density 12 13 14 or 15, or whatever might be necessary to facilitate more 
vibrational bands or levels of creation...

Naturally, the universal mind does not take up any space, for it is not a 3D 
phenomenon (except as an illusionary manifestation we call the physical 
universe). The physical universe is a specific virtual reality that has no 
existence on its own. It is a creation of the higher levels of the cosmic 
mind and it also exists within the cosmic mind. No thing is outside of it... 

In order to create one needs to be aware! If we are not aware, our creation 
back-fires on us. That is the time we begin to look for scape goats that 
might have brought about the situations we encounter. IOW: we look to blame 
others. Naturally, it is all our own doing and the fact that this is so, 
teaches us the lessons how to create properly! It also means that we can 
make of our creation what we desire... 

Our task is to become Conscious Creators. 
This is why we live on Earth - it is a school for creators. In the 
mean time, the earth is an aspect of a specific virtual reality system that 
completely fools us. We are seemingly subjected to Time and Space. In 
actuality we are beyond this continuum, but in order to experience this 
reality we created it and began to live in it. Living there means that we 
become lost in this reality. However, sooner or later we will find our way 
out. The physical universe is like a self-created maze. The exit is found by 
educating ourselves. Knowledge is the clue and awakening is the goal...

One last surprise coming up. 
The universe or our cosmic mind is an infinite Sphere of Energy that 
virtually is as heavy and solid as a rock. It is very dense so to speak. It 
contains an infinite amount of different spaceless and timeless con-units, 
which are phase-angle related according to the realities they hold. Now, 
think about the following - our universe in actuality is a Dream - Our 
Dream! Dreaming itself into existence by means of the thoughts which create 
it. Not thinking or creating means - that you just sit there spinning your 
wheels in a sand box in which you are lost... 

It's all very simple - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 14 Mar 2002 
From gerardus@otvcablelan.net 
To: several List I was on.

Subject: It would have made me a Liar!


The Master and his disciples were sitting around the fire 
and some of the students became really daring in asking question. 

So one of them said: 
Master are you equal to God? 

The Master smiled and said: 
We all are equal Benderson, all of us are God! 

To which Benderson said: 
Well, if we are all God and equal Master, 
why do we call you Master and you call us by our names!

To which the Master said: 
That is exactly what I have not figured out yet Benderson. You see, I was 
just an ordinary person, knowing that I did not know anything, and said so! 
All of a sudden people began to call me Master. At that time, I could 
not possibly reverse my position of not knowing anything, by letting you 
know that I was NOT a Master. It would have made me a liar!

Aha! -- Gerardus


Date: Sun, 17 Mar 2002 09:59:00 -0800
To: matrioshka@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [matrioshka] Re: Escalation Department
Reply-To: matrioshka@yahoogroups.com

Michael here: 
Agreed, but complexity enters the picture only with the "how" of a 
thing; desiring to go in this direction or that direction is a 
simple thing. It may take a great cook and a whole lot of 
complexity to make a great soup, but anybody can decide if the soup 
tastes good. So can anybody explain to me the origin of desire? 
Maybe conceptualizing desire is its own creation. But this is just 
an academic exercise because we know it's already been done. 
And as far as "consensus realities are going the way of the eight- 
track"...yup. Fractures all over the place.

Gerardus here: 
Possibly the origin of desire is the origin of the Universe or Life. It is 
still "working" on the fulfillment of this desire. Trying to explain it can 
only be done when we have awoken to infinity. We will never reach it in 
human form. Then, I feel that desire is an infinite "thingy" and we will 
never be without it in human form. If one satisfies it - it means you're 
dead. Within this infinite scheme, we call the Universe or Life, we find 
new beginnings and ends - from Human Bodies to Galaxies. Which in actuality 
are but locale changes. I think/feel that the original desire was to Be. To 
Be All That Is Possible. Trying to explain the origin of desire is a human 
thing - possibly a human weakness caused by limitations...

Being serves Joy - Gerardus


Date: 21 Mar 2002 21:49:54 -0000
From science-l-error@spiritweb.org Thu Mar 21 13:46:05 2002
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [science-l] Re: "Ego, Archetype & Self"

Hi Ronald, 
May I offer you another perspective on the relations between the 
personality, ego and soul? 
In the 'Sananda Teaches Ascension' classes, organized by Ashtar's Trinity 
(http://www.exode.net/trinity) the ego subject is discussed in class # 6 
(Ego - The Two-Edged Sword) and # 7 (A New Parable: The Ego and the 
Personality). These lessons are published. Using other information as well I 
have the following understanding of this question.

Hello Hanz and All - Gerardus here: 
Please permit me to intersperse and expand upon your post with some of my 
wordy ideas. So let's see what comes out and then we go from there. First 
of all - what you say Hanz I agree with in general except for some minor 
additions and semantics maybe... 
In God's desire to experience Him/Her-Self, He/She split-up in myriad 
manifestations and thus created All That Is (the Creation). His/Her 
individualization in human beings has a vertical component (the pillar of 
Light) and a horizontal component (the crossbeam of matter), both forming 
the Maltese Cross (the cross of Spirit anchored into matter). The pillar of 
Light consists of (in descending order): The I AM Presence (the Divine Self) 
- the Christ Self - the Divine Flame within the soul (anchored into matter). 
The soul is seperated from the personality (the Lower Self) by a veil, which 
we call ego. 

Gerardus here: 
God desire to experience its Creation is not something that happened in the 
past and continued till we came along. Also, God's desire is not something 
that will ever be satisfied. It is a continuous happening - Creation! So, 
Creation is a timeless or infinite Happening and it more or less comes down 
to Change - Only Change. Change or Evolution. IOW: there is no beginning 
nor end to Creation as such, or to God for that matter - for God IS 
Creation. The Creator IS Creation. They are not two things. IT are One 
Thing - One Experience - One Happening on a multi-dimensional level...

Within this One Experience we find the Lower Worlds upon which we as 
Mankind find ourselves. In the mean time, because of our seemingly 
independent and separate existence within Creation - we find ourselves more 
or less lost, this depend however upon our level of awareness. Meaning, 
some of us are more lost than others. Our strangeness or lostness depends 
upon our knowledge of who or what we really are. We are God as Man so to 
speak - but so few of us know this...

Many think that God or the Creator created everything at one time in our 
past and somehow we came about out of the union of parents. All this is 
only so for the body we live in, within the illusionary states of mind, we 
call physicality or lives we think we live. WE as Soul or God have always 
existed! In the mean time, all of our lives as human beings are nothing 
but dreams and or States of Awareness. We could also call them States of 
Unawareness. In any case, they are mental states, or subjective state, 
and/or illusionary... 

All these parts of what we are, are the result of the individualization of 
God. The personality can be seen as a kind of steering device in the hands 
of the veiled soul to 'drive' the body within the world of matter. Although 
the Divine Flame within the soul also is being veiled by the ego with 
respect to the Christ Self and the I AM Presence, there still is, under the 
circumstances of a thin veil, an optimal mutual connection and communication 
and the Divine Oneness within the diversity of Creation can be preserved. 

Gerardus here: 
Yes, very much so. All is God so to speak, but it seems, that we all are 
seemingly separated aspects of TIL - The Infinite Light. We find ourselves 
in a matter world in which everything seems to be separated from other 
things. It is very perplexing for example, to think that we are all really 
but One Energy. It certainly does not look that way! Most people conclude 
that they live in a solid matter world. By investigating this - we find 
that matter is 99.999% empty! Now what? How come it is solid to us?? In 
the mean time, being mentally immature does not mean, that we are less God 
so to speak. Immaturity is a condition of being human, who by living lives 
or dreams slowly awakens. Life as a human being is a slow Awakening to 

In this way it is possible for the Divine Self to experience the Creation, 
to continue the creation process and to enjoy His/Her creations to His/Her 
heart's content. Without the veil (ego) the personality would know 
everything of the soul, thus also of the Divine Self, nothing would be left 
to discover, to experience and to enjoy and, as a matter of fact, nothing 
had changed. A human being, gifted with free will, but limited by veiling 
the soul, is God in action!

Gerardus here: 
Yes, the material levels of life, or the Matter Creation and the Beings in 
it, are created in such a way that they are not directly or immediately 
recognizing who or what they really are. IOW: they have separated 
themselves from their Higher Selves on purpose - but they do not know this. 
As we know, this separation is very painful sometimes and much of it 
amounts to suffering. Not to forget that we descended into our Creation in 
order to experience it. Experience includes suffering. We descended into a 
world of duality... 
There however is a most vital condition: The soul has to be strong - imbued 
with willpower, love and wisdom. Under this condition only the personality 
and the ego will submit themselves in humbleness to the guidance of the 
soul, the free will is exercised in conformity with the Divine Blueprint 
(the Prime Directive) and with the Universal Laws and the soul can fulfill 
his/her Divine Mission in Worlds of Light. 

Gerardus here: 
The Soul, beginning as a very tiny unconscious spark or aspect of the 
Creator NEEDS to grow by experiences and thereby "awaken and create" itself 
to a greater or more powerful Force. We as human beings, we as Souls, are 
in the process of creating Souldom or Wisdom. We are in the Process of 
creating "awakeness". It's a full time job... 
If the soul is weak, the ego will leave its humble position as servant of 
the soul, will seek for recognition and will become stronger; the veil will 
become thicker; the seperation of the soul from the Christ Self and the I AM 
Presence will proceed; the Divine Flame within the soul will be reduced to a 
Divine Spark; the pillar of Light will be reduced to a thin silver string; 
the flow of Divine Energy through the silver string will decrease; the 
crosbeam of matter will become thicker and longer; ultimately the ego will 
usurp the position of power and might over the personality and the body, 
will reduce the soul to the position of slave, will excite 'havoc in 
heaven', will create density and darkness, and will destroy the creation 
within worlds of darkness. 

Gerardus here: 
Yes, the battle of the Ego and the Soul is a process of which it is said "a 
house divided will fall" - this means naturally, that there can be but One 
Master. So, to become the Master over the body and body mind - that is the 
very purpose of being human. Not to worry however, for this is a very slow 
process and we have all the time in the Universe. Time and Space are 
self-created states of mind in the first place. No one is going to tell us 
- Hey, You over there - you used too much Time and your Space is too big. 
Will never happen! Time and Space are of an illusionary nature and have no 
existence in themselves... 

It was God's wish to create a Divine Being to His/Her Image. He/She created 
the human being, gifted with Divine Attributes, but necessarily also with an 
ego which carries the essence of seperation and thus carries the potential 
to rebel against God's Authority within the Creation, if the soul allows it 
to happen. Seen within this perspective the ego in a human being is the 
source of evil, is God's shadow in His/Her Creation, if it isn't imbued with 

Gerardus here: 
Not sure whether God has specific wishes about his image, or about mankind. 
God or the Creator in being Mankind is in the process of becoming itself 
again. It is a round trip! As I see it - we are the Creator or God and have 
descended into our Matter-Creation in order to know what it is like. We as 
Mankind are here to experience our Creation! Whether or not our image of 
the Creator or God is up to par is not something I am concerned about. We 
are Duplicates of God or the Creator in the first place. We are the Creator 
disguised as Man. The Creator or God does not have an image as such. Its 
Image or Power lives within us! It IS Us! IOW: All things are God's image - 
Sinners and Saints included. As well as the murderers and or molesters. 
They are the God-Force - experiencing Life - Human Life - in order to 
awaken to their Infinite Greatness...
In order to do that - we go through all kinds of experiences on both side 
of the ledger so to speak. All in all - we experience what it takes to 
awaken the Soul or God within us. What some of us do (in the world), is not 
necessarily looked upon in a kind way by other people or Mankind. That 
naturally is a judgement! I feel that we should be clear of those. We are 
not in a position to judge the actions of others. What mankind, or what the 
law thinks of this, is part and parcel of an illusionary reality and does 
not count. The experience counts. So, what we learn from our behaviour is 
what counts! Sooner or later we learn how to behave in a balanced manner, 
and spend our time becoming more familiar with the other side of the veil, 
than being concerned about who broke these man-made laws or not. Who cares? 
We are beyond that now...
The soul feels the seperation from the Creator and, urged by the Divine 
Spark, is longing for reunion. To realize this the soul has no other way 
than to wage the protracted inner struggle against the ego by weakening 
aspects of ego-feeding and strengthening aspects of humility. This is the 
path of ascension, resulting in merging the Lower Self with the Christ Self 
and ultimately merging the Christ Self with the I Am Presence.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, very true Hanz. I would also like to mention here, that all lives are 
for different purposes and no doubt in some lives we live and behave like a 
Big Ego and in others we have learned to transcend our selfishness and 
"see" the uselessness of all this. After all, the only things we bring with 
us into the regions beyond the physical is a bit of knowledge and wisdom...

Kind of useless to amass a fortune and leave it to others when you kick the 
bucket. All this needs to be learned and understood naturally and every 
human being on earth is in the process of learning this. In the mean time, 
one particular Soul, very well could have a wise person as a vehicle, while 
at the same time the same Soul also has a big Ego hanging around some 
place. Both human vehicles are from the same ultimate Source in the first 
place and both have something to contribute to the Wisdom of the 
Soul/God/Creator we are...

Blessings and Smiles to All - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 04 Apr 2002 19:36:44 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: War and Suffering...

Gerardus here: 
I wrote something about suffering and ignorance this afternoon for another 
list. Might fit here too!
--- Suffering is the result of Ignorance
--- War is the result of ignorance!
--- Who's ignorance? 
--- The ignorance of those who fight. Or suffer!

If people, Man and Women, were smart enough there would be no more wars! 
Since they are NOT smart enough, it is logical that there are wars. Wars are 
necessary! We as ignorant Souls come to earth order to learn to become smart 
and very few of us have learned our lessons. IOW: approximately, say 99% of 
the population is ignorant of what is...

We as ignorant Souls come to earth in order to become more and more aware. 
Awareness means intelligence (smartness) and in the long run by means of our 
experiences we also become wise. In the mean time, we fight wars... and 
more wars... and more wars! Life in life out we fight wars until we get the 
picture. We also do other dumb things but fighting wars is about the worst...
The earth is a Cosmic School for Souls, and we are here in order to become 
aware. We are here to learn our lesson. Not fighting wars if one of them! 

How long does it take before we are aware enough not to fight wars? THAT, I 
cannot tell you for there are always young Souls incarnating onto this earth 
and therefore there will always be wars. Worlds with "Third Density Levels" 
are that kind of "sandbox" within which the so called patriotic and 
religious, fight for their counties and or religions. They are brainwashed 
into fighting wars. They think that they do their Country or God a favor. 
This will happen until they have learned their lessons...

Therefore, the WISH that war would just go away - or find a way to stop it - 
is in actuality taking away the school or lessens from those who need it 
most - the ignorant. This would be most unfair and would not sit too well 
with those Beings who run this world from the higher Densities. Those who 
are the Gods and Creators of the Solar System and are responsible for the 
education of the ignorant Souls upon earth and other places... 

The only way for Souls to stop incarnating upon Third Density Planets is to 
promote themselves to higher Densities by means of education! Knowledge is 
our Savior - there are no other Saviors. How do we get this Knowledge? 
That is up to you. Ask around and/or look what I have got. I do not have all 
the answers - but I have some. There are thousands of other places. There is 
not that much Knowledge found on Lists. Books and Articles contain a lot 

Life is your Bag - Gerardus


Date: Fri, 05 Apr 2002 12:02:07 -0800
From gerardus@otvcablelan.net Fri Apr 05 12:09:00 2002
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
Subject: The Grand Cycle... - Life

Hi Kathleen - Gerardus here: 
Life is an infinite phenomenon or an infinite Journey! The Journey is 
about Knowledge and/or Awareness and Wisdom. Knowing what to do when! We 
pass through Life from Bottom to Top. From Wavicle... to Atom... to 
Cell... to Plant... to Animal... to Humanness... to other Stages... to 
God... so to speak... 

From stage to stage there is learning to be done. We all pass from Bottom 
to Top at our own speed and capabilities. Earth is one of these stages and 
nobody told us that is was all pleasure. Human Life is a tough undertaking! 
Once on Top - there might be a choice of "investing" aspects of ourselves 
into another cycle from Bottom to Top. Some call this the Inbreath and the 
Outbreath of God. Others call it the Grand Cycle. Knowledge is attained by 
the experiences we have within all stages of Life...

In the lower stages of Life we are looked after by others, and in the 
higher stages of Life we look after others. The little ones are served... 
the Big Ones do the Serving! Life is One Being raising itself, as semi 
individual Units, from Small to Great, to Infinite... over and again...

To become Everything... Hang onto Nothing!

There is no Hurry - Gerardus 


From science-l-error@spiritweb.org Mon Apr 08 15:20:50 2002
Envelope-to: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
Date: 8 Apr 2002 22:25:25 -0000
From: Gerardus 
To: Science & Spirituality List 
Reply-to: Gerardus 
Subject: [science-l] The 911 / The Towers of Jericho

Gerardus here: 
I have been reading "Voyagers", Volume II, Second Addition - by Anna Hayes 
(Ashayana Deane). There is an enormous amount of information in this book, 
as well as a lot of history as far as the Human Race is concerned. All in 
all - I find it a great book - but it is not easy to read. It's not a 
reading-book so to speak...

Among many and many subjects... 
the following is also discussed in this book:

What really happened on 9/11/2001
The explanation in this book is pages and pages long and goes into all kinds 
of details and circumstances leading up to the 911 Occurrence and some of 
these circumstances are thousands of years old! I will try to keep it 
simple and say this: The WTC Towers were brought down by very sophisticated 
Sound Waves Structures of which Mankind knows next to nothing. These sound 
waves look like a trumpet. They flare out at the place of destruction and 
de-manifest the target into a residual ash! This is exactly what the New 
York Fire Department encountered when they cleaned up the mess. White ashes 

This technology is not a human technology. It is a mechanical frequency 
amplifier, generating specific Sound Structures, utilizing electromagnetic 
wave fields that produce Sub-Space-Sonic-Beams that can be directed for 
long range targets. These Sound Structures look like a trumpet. They flare 
out at the end so to speak. It is the technology of Higher Density Beings 
who have certain plans for this earth. They are the inspirers of the USA 
Government Official, who have become their puppets for the sake of Power 
and Control over Mankind World Wide... 

The terrorists, and all the other paraphernalia, were nothing but camouflage 
for the 911 WTC Towers destruction. The planes used in the event might not 
even have been flown by terrorists but could have been controlled by remote 
control. In any case, the 911 Happening has its roots in the 4D/5D Rulers of 
this world, who are being aided by the One World Order Management Team. In 
the mean time, the WTC Towers were but one target, the Pentagon another, and 
there could have been more targets. Apparently not all plans worked out...

This in a nutshell is but a little detail that I got out of the book. From 
all the explanations I have heard - the explanation by Lady Anna is the 
best by far. I feel that it is true! No other explanation came even close. 
As far as I am concerned the towers definitely did not come down by the 
fires in the upper structures of these towers. These explanations are for 
the masses listening to the Propaganda-Machine...

Most likely the Walls of Jericho were brought down in the same manner! As 
the Bible story goes, the Sounds of the Trumpet brought these structures to 
the ground. Indeed, High Technology Trumpets Sounds Waves! All these 
biblical stories were presented as the "Wrath of God". In any case - the 
Gods are still mad at us...

Gods are hard to please - Gerardus


From gerardus@otvcablelan.net Tue Apr 16 10:03:09 2002
Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2002 09:10:13 -0700
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
Subject: Good versus Evil...

Gerardus here: 
In our universe, and in our worlds of duality, there are Two Forces. Certain 
aspects of both Forces have incarnated onto the earth plane and function as 
actors in a performance we know as the struggle of Good versus Evil. At this 
very moment, there are some dark clouds arranging themselves over our world 
and it might seem that the Dark Forces are winning some kind of battle, of 
which we do not know the extent, nor the outcome...

At the same time, there are the Forces of Light of the duality picture. 
Truly, we have seen little of them lately. But can we really discount the 
thousands upon thousands of Crop-Circles for examples? Certainly Not! 
Aren't those Crop-circles the signs of the benevolent Ones?

All this means, that they have not forgotten and/or forsaken us. Their 
presence, although invisible to us/me most of the time, is always present. 
What they stand for - is similar to what we/I stand for. Sooner or later 
they will show and do what they must do - separate the Wheat from the Chaff! 
While in the mean time, they whisper - All is Well...

Yet, at the same time, no amount of Love and/or Goodwill will be able to 
completely eliminate Evil and Dishonesty from this world and the universe. 
All sides, Good and/or Bad, are aspects of the Nature of the Universe. It 
has to be this way! It is up to us, to align our thoughts and trust with 
those of Honesty and Integrity... 

Why and Who are assisting us? Simple! The Children of the Light are 
assisted by the Forces of Light. We are their Children... 

I trust in the Universe I am - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 18 Apr 2002 19:15:17 -0700
From gerardus@otvcablelan.net Thu Apr 18 20:02:08 2002
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: The Journey of God in its Creation...

In God's desire to experience Him/Her-Self, He/She split-up in myriad 
manifestations and thus created All That Is (the Creation). His/Her 
individualization in human beings has a vertical component (the pillar of 
Light) and a horizontal component (the crossbeam of matter), both forming 
the Maltese Cross (the cross of Spirit anchored into matter). The pillar of 
Light consists of (in descending order): The I AM Presence (the Divine Self) 
- the Christ Self - the Divine Flame within the soul (anchored into matter). 

Hello Hanz and All... 
In and by itself there is nothing wrong with what you wrote and basically it 
portrays the ascension, as you call it, of the Soul towards its Christ or 
Buddha Self, moving toward The Isness of God. Fine! Your article describes 
approximately what I believed to be so some years ago...

Please consider the following. It is my story for now...
There are a few things within your article that I see differently. One of 
them is, that God does not have desires! God is not a wanter so to speak. 
Like: I want this and I want that - or I have desires. God also is not a 
wisher - like in what you say here: "it was God's wish to create a Divine 
Being to His/Her Image". Who says God is Divine? Yes, you do - but that 
does not make it so. Also, how could one possibly know what God wants or 

There is no need for God to wish anything. I believe/know/proclaim - that we 
are God. Any time and Every time! High Souls, low Souls, young Souls, old 
Souls, Egos, good Guys, bad Guys, good Girls, bad Girls, Bushes and Saddams, 
Stalins and Hitlers, Jesusses and Gautamas, Gerardusses and Hanzes, as well 
as all ordinary people, "ARE" God at all times already. There is only God so 
to speak. What this God needs (what we need) dwells in our hearts. We act 
upon it... and it is different for all of us...

Most human beings are not aware that they are God already and this leads to 
the Play or Performance that is acted out in the world. Sometimes it is very 
messy! At all times, this Play contains the lessons we need to learn. It is 
played or acted out by all kinds of different people - Good as well as Bad. 
This Good and Bad however, is only a human connotation - God does not call 
its "selves" that way - God never speaks. In and by itself, all of us are 
God, or the Light in all its brilliance. Any Time and Every Time...

In the so called beginning (which does not exist) - we as The Infinite Light 
(TIL) - travel through our creation by becoming the smallest particle and 
slowly move and grow towards the Highest Entity. Eventually we will "join" 
again with our infinite Greatness in A Conscious Manner. Along the pathways 
of our journey however, we are not completely "conscious" or "aware" and to 
become "completely conscious or aware" is what our Journey is all about. It 
is filled with infinite lessons. Our Journey in total could be called - The 
Ultimate Ascension...

Note 1: 
Above, I have "join" in quotes - for in actuality we are joined at all times 
already. We never separated from our Godself. We just are not aware, that we 
are God or the Light already AND cannot possibly separate, even if we wanted 

IOW: Life itself - "that what we are" - as the smallest particle, travels 
from next to nothing "TOWARD" Infinite Greatness. This journey is called the 
Grand Cycle by some people. The Grand Cycle might well take Ten Million 
earth-years. One of the stages of this journey is being Human. Humanness is 
approximately a level somewhere in the middle of the entire Journey. It 
means that we have a long way to go yet, to "become-consciously-aware" of - 
What We Are! We are The Infinite Light Itself. We just do not experience 
ourselves as such as yet... We are anyway...

Apparently, we make this journey from bottom to top, an infinite amount of 
times, for Life is an infinite phenomenon - Life "is" The Infinite Self we 
ARE! We cycle. We are Life, we are God, we are TIL. At this moment in time 
however, in this moment in our infinite dream or illusion - we are a Jesus 
or a Gautama - working towards our Christness or Buddhahood. Right now, we 
do this by living human lives, learning its lessons... 

In order to put all this in a picture so that it became more understandable 
to me, I made the following sketch. Study it if you like, there was a lot in 
it for me. Here it is: http://www.soulwise.net/25g-awl.htm

Note 2: 
The above naturally is only a Story. It is My Story for now!  Tomorrow I 
might change my mind (awareness) and write a different one. Life is change. 
In the mean time, we all live in a reality we create, and we can never live 
in a reality that is not our creation. This means that the entire universe 
is created by us while we go along and live in it. In the end (which does 
not exist either) we will find that it only took a moment...

May The Light We Are Shine Through All of Us - Gerardus


Date: Sun, 21 Apr 2002 12:13:46 -0700
To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [4D-S] Sunday morning thoughts...
Reply-To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com

Gerardus here: 
I was speaking with a member of another list and we had the following 
discussion. I figured, that it fits on 4D as well. So, here it goes...

Gee here: 
Reality of any kind, is a We Thing! 

M. here: 
Is it only a "we" thing, Gerardus? Or can it be a "I" thing as 
well? Or can it also be a we/I thing? 
Hello All...
Please consider the following 
it might all be metaphysical malarkey.
It is an "I" and a "We" Thing simultaneously. 
There is but one Universal Energy.

Since this Energy is seemingly split into Xillions of Aspects - and we are 
one of these Aspects - we are deluded (we live in illusionary realities) 
and we think that there is a "WE" and/or more than one thing. In the mean 
time, only in this illusionary manner or dream can we play the Game we call 
Creation. We are an illusionary individual Aspect of this Creation and 
literally are, and live in, the One Mind that dreams this Creation. We are 
one of its figments that acquired self-awareness. These Aspects each dream 
their own local version of the reality they think they live in... 

We live in this Creation or Universal Mind as a "Point of Focus", that at 
this time amounts to what we think is a human body and all that goes with 
it. The "Point of Focus" we are, is able to expand itself infinitely and 
eventually becomes the One Mind. (It actually already is - it just needs to 
become aware that it already is. (It is a lot more than a "Point of Focus"). 
By expanding infinitely, we could say that we create our own universe from 
scratch. Since we as a "Point of Focus" live in an illusionary time frame - 
this expansion seems to take forever... 
Gee here: 
From whichever viewpoint one looks at 
it. We all see a different flower although we look at the same 
one. The picture we create in our mind is ours. Not someone else's. In the 
mean  time, we all create the subjective reality of each other. 

M. here: 
I want to be crystal clear about definitions here because these 
discussions usually get bogged down in sloppiness. If I see a 
flower a certain way, that is called "subjective". Therefore, we 
cannot create the subjective reality of anyone else. We can, 
however, individually and subjectively create the "objective" 
reality of everyone else, right? 

Gee here: 
About definitions: 
As soon as we define it with words. We have limited whatever it was 
we tried to define. Definitions are ideas of 3D people...

Back to what you say above: 
No, not as I understand things!
There is no objective reality - any place or universe. Our Scientists have 
proven that Objective Reality (the thing we call "out there") is an 
illusion. We each create our own reality-version of this illusion - always. 
This is why illusion and reality really is the same thing...

There is ONLY ONE Energy in which we live, and are, and this One Energy has 
different patterns and frequencies that can be experienced when we are of 
the same pattern and frequency. 3D is one of these regions we do this in. 
There are many more naturally, including the dream realities we experience 
at night while the body-energy is asleep... 

Souls are Energies that are super-imposed upon a certain body energy. This 
body energy grows from baby to old Geezer and then dies and vanishes. The 
Soul or Energy that lived in the body carries on and does what it needs to 
do in order to become fully aware of what it used to be - It used to be 
--- the Universe or God or Life or TIL. Many of these Soul/Energies 
incarnate again and again and learn more and more. Most just incarnate and 
learn next to nothing. Depends on the individual Soul. We do what we want 
to do. Many are insane for example and make it a profession to kill other 
M. here: 
I can also conceive of a point of 
view where you allow me to come inside your head and let me see your 
point of view. Then I will be privy to two subjective points of view. 

Gee here: 
Yes, you would. What you need to do then is, ride "mental piggy back" as I 
call it, and experience what I experience. I feel that this can be done by 
those who have trained themselves to do so. (I think so called Masters can 
do this) They literally can look out of your or mine eyes. Or even be you 
or I. This might be an aspect of the incarnational secrets of living 
lives, while the bodies we think we live in have been used by other Souls 
before. IOW: there are but a certain amount of bodies so to speak and a 
thousands different Souls live a physical life in the same body. Why not? 

Anything is possible for it is all a Mind-Game. I mean, there really is no 
physical reality - we only think/feel there is. Bodies are not real 
things! We could see them as subjective tools or instruments... 
Gee here: 
The Creator 
within us, working through us, creates the other. Whichever way 
it looks at it, from whatever point of view or being - it sees itself...

M. here: 
Well, do you see this as a Creator (a personality) or is it the 
creative force?

Gee here: 
The Creator I see as the Creative Force or the ONE Energy. It is not 
self-aware and/or knows anything whatsoever in a conscious manner. We could 
see it as the Universal Subconscious or Subconsciousness. It lives within 
its "creations" - the you and I, and the other guys and dolls, and all 
other entities. 

Within these beings it becomes consciously aware to the 
maximum in the long run AS those Beings. Some "Points of Focus" like the 
ones we are, live in a physical reality that contains Time and Space and 
the masses who live there, are cut off from knowing who or what they 
really are - until they awaken and see the Light. This takes ages and ages...

Keep breathing in the mean time - Gerardus


From gerardus@otvcablelan.net Thu Apr 25 11:49:40 2002
Date: Thu, 25 Apr 2002 11:50:39 -0700
Subject: The Overself..

Gerardus here:
I am not sure where this comes from.

'There is much confusion of understanding about what happens to the ego 
when it attains the ultimate goal. Some believe that a cosmic consciousness 
develops, with an all-knowing intelligence and an "all-overish" feeling. 
They regard it as unity with the whole universe. Others assert that there 
is a complete loss of the ego, an utter destruction of the personal self. 

No - these are confused notions of what actually occurs. The Overself is 
not a collective entity as though it were composed of a number of 
particles. One's embrace of other human beings through it is not in union 
with them but only in sympathy, not in psychic identification with them but 
in psychic harmony. He has enlarged the area of his vision and sees himself 
as a part of mankind. But this does not mean that he has become conscious 
of all mankind as though they were himself.

The true unity is with one's 
own higher indestructible self. It is still with a higher individuality, 
not a cosmic one, and it is still with one's own self, not with the rest of 
mankind. Unity with them is neither mystically nor practically possible. 

What we discover is discovered by a deepening of consciousness, not by a 
widening of it. Hence it is not so much a wider as a deeper self that he 
has first to find."(22-3.108)


May 03/2002

Gerardus here: 
Summation of my thoughts - for now!

The Observer's Position!

In order to understand why the world is what it is - a bit messy now and 
then - it might help to understand what we as human beings actually are. 

So please, consider the following: 
We are spiritual beings who have come to earth in order to live in human 
bodies. It more or less means that we temporarily become one, or think we 
are one, like the majority of human beings do. However, we are not the human 
being, we are not the body! We are a Cosmic Energy or Soul "living" within 
the body. We play a role in the human body, we perform a function. Even if 
it is only playing Golf all our life - it is a function...

We come to earth in order to experience the human condition. What is this 
human condition? This human condition is of such a nature, that it is not 
in harmony, with the rest of the world or universe - on purpose! Souls 
cannot learn anything in a perfect world. Which would be so - if all humans 
would live in a harmonious relationship. On purpose there is a tremendous 
mix-up of human bodies, personalities, Soul-Ages, and special characters, in 
order to create a disharmonious whole. Most often it is a hell of a mess. If 
all was perfect it would not be worthwhile for Souls to incarnate...

Can this disharmonious situation among human beings be improved? Yes, it 
can, but we do not come here to improve or change the world - at this time. 
We come here to change ourselves and we can only change ourselves by means 
of becoming "aware" of what this world and mankind really is. This world is 
a 3D environment of a specific kind and that is what attracted us to this 
world in the first place. It's a place to gain awareness relatively quick...

The world is a learning environment in the same sense as Grade Three of 
Elementary School is. Most of us went to Grade Three - did our learning and 
on the end of the year were promoted to Grade Four. We were promoted because 
of what we learned, not because whether we liked certain students and did 
not like others...

Please note that while we were in Grade Three - there was no need to 
"improve" upon Grade Three and/or correct the rowdies, bullies, or slow 
pokes that might have been present there. We more or less learned our 
lessons, and we went through Grade Three without improving it. Eventually we 
ended up in Grade Four...

Things are the same on earth in Grade Three, or in Third Density! We learn 
our lessons in 3D and pass on the 4D, or higher, when promotion time comes 
along. This is why the earth always has been seen as a terrible messy place. 
Lots of unrest, killing, suffering and whatever else. The question is - how 
do we learn our lessons in the most efficient manner?

Simply put - we become aware of what is - and get out! The big clue is 
AWARENESS. Our level of awareness creates our circumstances and/or our 
environment. It is not necessary to do certain exercises and/or rituals in 
order to promote ourselves. Promotion depends on Awareness. Have we learned 
the lessons of 3D? Have we learned what this world really is for? Neither 
does it depend on whether or not be have aligned ourselves with this group, 
or that group, in order to be helped by them. 

Neither is it to appeal to 
others to give us a boost, because we are not powerful enough to stand up by 
ourselves. All human bodies (or Jesusses) are occupied by an Inner Force 
that some people call the Inner Christ. This is what we really are - a Soul 
or a Christ living in a human body. Lots of power there! Christness is 
determined by Awareness...

As soon as this Power becomes aware of what this world really is for - a 
Place of Learning - that Power is ready to be promoted when the time is 
ripe. As we all know, that time has come! Many of us have been here enough 
times to learn the lessons of 3D. They consist of becoming an Observer more 
so, than alignment with a certain group...

Conclusion according to Gerardus: 
We are the Light in human form and our desire and task is to become more and 
more aware. This does not necessarily mean that we have to hang out with 
what is thought of as the Good Guys or the Bad Guys. Hanging out with either 
is taking sides! Alignment with any group or force makes us lose our Divine 
Position of Neutrality. It makes us lose our Observer Position! In the mean 
time, both sides, "Light" and "Dark" are necessary in order to create the 
training ground for beginning Consciousnesses or Souls. So, it is not 
necessary to pick any side, Light or Dark, as a favorite. Both are equal, 
for both side are played by Souls who play the different roles or functions. 

All Souls have only a temporary affiliation with certain sides. The next 
time around, they play a different character or role and are aligned with 
the opposite side. It gives them balance in the long run and a readiness at 
promotion time...      Being a neutral observer is the Clue - Gerardus 


To: KeylonticScience@yahoogroups.com
Date: Mon, 06 May 2002 10:54:10 -0700
Subject: Re: [KeylonticScience] Re: Thoughts

Jay here: 
At 12:28 AM 5/5/2002 -0000, you wrote: 
Thoughts for the days to come: I did not come here to fight. 
I did not come here to win or lose. I came here to "make it happen!" - 
Earth will transition to Harmonic Universe # 2 - TARA! 

Hello Jay - Gerardus here: 
If you did not come to fight, to win or to lose, this means to 
me, that you have taken the choice of the Observer's Position. 
If you would like to know more about the Observer's Position, 
here is what I think about it. 

It agrees with what you say in your above short post, but it 
might not agree with your emotional collection of thoughts... 
 Feel free to reject it - Gerardus 

In KeylonticScience@y..., "grantj101"  wrote: 
Gerardus - I continued on in the same group of sentences to say "I 
came here to MAKE IT HAPPEN" How do you get the position of the 
Observer out of that? We are just NOT on the same page with the 
issues at hand. Jay
Gerardus here: 
I have put this post in the sequence the conversation took place. This makes 
it easier to follow for those who read it on list, as well as for those who 
read it from the Archives. For 400 members this save a lot time and effort on 
scrolling up and down. Why doesn't this List have this rule? 
I will respond to your post now Robert. 
Robert here: 
Hi Jay and Gerardus, 
I had a couple of thoughts of my own. I didn't come here to fight, 
or to lose, but I damn sure came here to win! :)

Gerardus here: 
I did not respond to Jay's earlier post, since Jay figured that we were not 
on the same page. At this time however, I feel that you and I are on the 
same page. Maybe there is only one page after all...

You say that you did not come to fight or to lose. Not sure what you mean by 
this directly, for as I see Life - there are no losers in the first place. 
In Life everybody is a winner! Life is Consciousness at Play. And Life on 
this planet is a play within the Duality Settings of this Planet and in the 
end all actors or players end up in the same box. This box is The Infinite 
Energy Box we could call the Source or All That Is...

Robert here: 
Actually, you guys got me thinking about the Observer and stuff like 
that. To me, being the observer is a natural part of the 
manifestation process. It is like the inbreath of manifestation, the 
EirA. The observer sits in the still point and clearly perceives 
what is happening, without any projection of his own onto the 
hologram. It is a state of witness consciousness, or passive 
awareness, wherein you clearly perceive events as they are and take 
them into yourself. To me, anyway, that is the observer's position.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, exactly! The observer's position is the equilibrium to work from. This 
work in fact already is partly accomplished just by being in this position. 
Its level of vibration, the Vibration of Understanding of What Is - in and 
by itself helps others to pause and reflect upon Life and its possibilities. 
The observer's position is the position of non-attachment, to either what is 
at present, or to what will be in the future... 

Robert here: 
Then from there you go to the pause breath of manifestation, or the 
ManU. This is the point where you stop and consider first, BEFORE 
reacting. This is the decision point, and really the POWER POINT, 
where you CAREFULLY consider what your action will be based on what 
you have just CLEARLY observed, and ONLY then do you act. By doing 
this you have short cirtuited that automatic, often emotional, 
reaction that will arise spontaneously; a good thing to remember in 
emotionally heated situations, eh? :)

Gerardus here: 
Yes indeed! Being in this Still Point - the Higher Self or Christ Self gets 
a chance to whisper its choices - from this balanced point we get to ponder 
upon our next move - if any... 

Robert here: 
So, first you observe clearly, the EirA, then you pause and consider, 
the ManU, and then you act, the ManA. This is a continuous cyclical 
process. We are looking at a higher level of manifestation than 
partiki or mions or that stuff, but it is in essence the same thing 
taken to the next level. It's a basic process of the universe 
whereby evolution of consciousness is achieved. Observation, 
consideration, and action. Then observatin again to understand the 
results of the previous action, consideration, and then the choice of 
what the next course of action will be. And again. And again. This 
is how consciousness learns and grows and evolves.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, progression on the Ladder of Awareness needs to take place without our 
emotional actions and reactions. This is very difficult sometimes since our 
emotions have been driving us for such a long time. Some Beings live off 

Robert here: 
When you get to the ManA, or the outbreath, where you have 
consciounsly considered what your action will be, then you act and 
energize that action, and here is THE KEY. This gets back to what 
Jay was REALLY SAYING. You act from a space of NONATTACHMENT. This 
is CRITICAL to the manifestation process. I will say it again: 
CRITICAL. As long as you are attached to the outcome, you hold on to 
the energy of the ManA that you are using to create what you want. 
You are attached to the results, and thereby you are holding it back, 
although unconsciounsly, and PREVENTING it from doing what you intend 
for it to do. 

Gerardus here: 
What you say is very true. Being solidly grounded in the Observer's Position 
always make us see or project the future without attachment. This is 
important. Having some attachment about how certain things ought to be in 
the future of our life or in the life of others, means to me, that we are 
trying to direct or control the direction/performance of the Higher Selves 
who are in charge of this planet. It is similar to having the audience 
direct the movie or the show we have come to see. Does not work too well - 
as a matter of fact - it is the main reason for the way the world is at 
present. Same as too many cooks - it spoils the meal... 

Robert here: 
However, if you are in a state of detachment, then you have RELEASED 
and let go of the creation energy. You have set it free so it can 
now go and do what you want. This is the KEY! This is the power of 
action without attachment. As long as there is that attachment, then 
you are blocking your own creative effort, and it will manifest far 
less effectively than when you allow the energy to flow. It's being 
in the flow, or in the Tao. 

Gerardus here: 
For most of us, if not all, well let's say at least myself, letting go of 
attachment is a heavy lesson. It means to surrender to Life and let things 
take place. As I see things, we as individual Souls come to the earth in 
order to learn certain lessons. The lessons are learned the fasted when we 
are able to take advantage of the curriculum that is presented to us. This 
curriculum is the "play" that is being acted out by the human beings 
present. Certain human beings for example have certain roles to play, as 
directed by their Inspirers or Higher Selves, and this particular planned 
scenario is meant to teach us the lessons needed by all of us...

In a long about way what I said there is this: Do not change the world but 
change yourself! Well changing yourself means becoming aware of what is. 
Meaning - gain awareness. More awareness means progression on the Ladder of 

Robert Here: 
So, as far as being in the "Observer's Position", yes, you go there, 
but it is only PART of the process, or the flow, so you stay there 
only long enough to clearly perceive, and then move on to the next 
phase of the manifestation process. Then you determine your course 
of action, and then, as Jay put it so well, you "MAKE IT HAPPEN". 
Your points were both well taken guys. I thank you for that, as it 
helped to clarify some of this for me, which I mentioned above. 

Gerardus here: 
Thank you for your kind words Robert. We can only learn from each other. For 
all of us are the Teachers and Students of each other. Life is that way... 

Robert here: 
Again, the big key for me is to do the ManU part WITHOUT ATTACHMENT, 
so the energy is free to flow and create. The hard part is to let go 
without TRYING to let go. If you TRY to let go, then you only create 
a double bind situation, and the energy is more stuck than ever. The 
trick is to let go without trying to let go. I don't know how to put 
this, but you just have to do it, as Jay said, make it happen, but 
WITHOUT trying, or attached effort. 
Man, if only I had listened to Yoda all those years ago. There is no 
try, only do :)

Gerardus here: 
I am not sure who Yoda is, but whoever it is - s/he is right. Life is 
action indeed - but just not of any kind. It needs to be planned in a 
conscious manner...   Living consciously is the clue - Gerardus


Date: Wed, 08 May 2002 11:18:31 -0700
From gerardus@otvcablelan.net Wed May 08 11:17:05 2002
Subject: What is real and what is not?

Gerardus here: 
What is real and isn't real? 
I think/feel/intuit that all realities high and low are virtual realities. 
All is Consciousness or forms thereof. This to me means, that we live in 
Mind. There is nothing else but Mind. We live in IT and we are IT! It is 
Infinite! So in order to make anything "real" anywhere, you can only have 
one mind-energy impress upon another mind-energy that there is something 
over there say. Living in a human body means that we are restricted to a 
certain range of frequencies and anything beyond that becomes unreal or 

IOW: there are overlapping realities or illusions (same thing) and each 
reality contains its particular real things. (Same frequency-range-things) 
When these so called real things enter into another reality range, they 
might become temporarily part of the reality they enter. Yet, they are not 
of it! What is real and what is not, also depends on the observer. What 
state of mind does the observer occupy? Possibly some people might be 
existing in more than one reality or state of mind. They would see UFO's 
and others see nothing at all. Sometimes however, UFOs become almost 
entirely physical and naturally everybody will see them... 

So living in a very restricted reality or illusion, UFOs are only temporary 
visitors and might appear differently to different people. In actuality 
all we see "out there" is a fabrication of our own holographic brain and 
things are created on the spot! This "fabrication" depends on what we 
already have on our brain circuits - it depends on our previuos 

Scientist tell us that there is no "Objective Reality" out there. I say 
there is not even an "out there"! What's happening any place, is happening 
Within our own Mind - it's happening within us! So what is real - or not 
real? Everything and Nothing...

To finish with this babbling: 
There is only ONE REAL THING - which is: The Nameless! 
The Nameless sees and is All THINGS - we are IT!!

No thing stands alone in the universe and all things 
flow forth from one another. Life is a Dynamic Flow 
within which the Source of all Things is "reflected" 
within its Manifestations. Simultaneously there is 
a continuous feedback from its Manifestations to the 
Source to keep it up to date...

Light... Love... and Laughter. 
~ Gerardus ~


Date: Tue, 14 May 2002 20:19:58 -0700
To: KeylonticScience@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [KeylonticScience] Re: Amenti

At 10:26 PM 5/14/2002 -0000, you wrote: 
If you read the books, you will notice that there are trillions if 
not more beings talking about the same information that Ash is. She`s 
just relaying it to us because we`ve become kinda hard of hearing so 
to speak. 

Hello Spiral...  Gerardus Here:
I am glad you wrote! 
I agree! There are millions of people spirit-deaf and billions who are not 
interested in spiritual knowledge or education. This is their Life! Their 
Life is their education! In the mean time, the masses are the Soil from 
which the Christs arise. A Christ is the Truth and the Reality and before 
this is fully realized the Learning Christ falls for stories and illusions. 

The masses - they are where they are and that is fine. All this comes down 
to what you say above, and it is what I said in the first place. There are 
more people who come out with similar if not the same information all the 
time. Thinking that the info from others is disinfo and yours is not - is a 
matter of opinion. Ask the others, they say that what you see as the real 
thing is disinfo. DOES it really make any difference once you know who or 
what you are? 

I have said before: 
We are the Truth and we fall for stories and illusions!
Thinking that one knows the only truth is a dangerous thing. How would one 
know if one does not investigate? I hear people say on Key-List I do not 
want to go there because I do not want to be disturbed, distracted or 
something similar. Really? Life is a disturbance from beginning to end 
until we rest in our own Knowing of who or what we are. All stories then do 
not matter anymore. So, I say it really makes no difference. To me all 
teachings are different stories and I find it very interesting indeed - all 
teachings tell us the same thing. You are IT! Rely on yourSelf! I know who 
or what I am and have known for a few years now. That is why I came out 
with my Story Post and that was some years ago. Here it is -- 
Spiral here: 
Gerardus said-All this does not mean that Ashayana does not have 
right answers. 
Me: Gerardus, Ive been observing your posts for a short while now, 
and those posts as well as this statement lead me to wonder whether 
you believe what Ash is saying. 

Gerardus here: 
I believe that part of what she says is so, I do not believe all she says. 
There is not need for it. Many of the things she says, I knew already in 
1985 for example. I just did not know all the details and how things would 
work out. The details are not really important. Basically I am not 
interested in too many details in the first place for I know that I am 
fine. I am safe - I am the Christ and I stand in the Light of the Christ I 
Am. My aura is sealed and I am beautiful. Is there anything else to know? 
Spiral here: 
I noticed your word usage and how you 
used a double negative when addressing whether Ash has "right 

Gerardus here: 
A double negative make a positive - so she has right answers. I do not want 
to say that she has all THE right answers. It might mean that I am able to 
check-out exactly what she says and confirm it. I cannot know this and do 
not care either. What happened 200 million years ago is not very 
interesting to me. Who did what and why makes no difference now. We are 
awakening from our long sleep. My task is to help awaken many more people. 
Not whether they are going to ascend - go to 4D or 5D or World Two or stay 
in the phantom world listening to Bush and his clout - all that is up to 
them. We will all end up where we belong. 

There is nothing to be concerned 
about - let alone worry or rely on but one human being to tell us what's 
going to happen next and/or whether we are now in plan A, plan B, plan C or 
some other contingency. My point is, we are where we are, and we will move 
according to the level of our awareness - Period. We do not have to be 
concerned one bit. Our destiny is and has been determined by the results of 
many many lifetimes. Taking a few workshops from this or from some other 
teacher, or doing some exercises from this teacher or another, is not 
important to me. HOWEVER, it might be important to others. Do as you 
like/love - it is your life. In the mean time I am doing what I see fit to 
do with my life... 
Spiral here: 
That led me to wonder about what you really think, versus 
what you are saying. Dont worry I'm not trying to attack you, just a 

Gerardus here: 
Yes! I do not feel attacked or even questioned for that matter - or even 
wondered about - although many do wonder about me. I respond to your post 
like I have done to about 25,000 of them, according to how I really think 
and feel. Is there any other way of writing than what you feel like? I 
would not know how. Check what I wrote as much as 20 years ago and you will 
know what I feel, write and smile about it. You are safe where you are 
Spiral. You are safe - with our without Ash. She is not your savior - you 
Spiral here: 
Have you been able to remember that any of it is true or 
recognize the events and things decribed? 

Gerardus here: 
As I said, there is a lot of truth in what Ash writes. There is also a lot 
of truth in what I write. Whom am I to follow? You know who I am to 
follow! I follow my own authentic Light, however small it is, nothing new 
here. Truth is an individual thing! There is no absolute truth. I do know 
that Ash came down here to do certain things. I also know that I came down 
here to do certain things and I am doing them. I made thousands of people 
question themselves. I see my task as awakening the little guys and dolls. 

THAT is what my writing is all about. It is not to lead others into other 
densities and/or into other worlds through certain open or closed Gates. I 
feel that all Gates are in our own awareness in the first place. Opening 
them is up to the individual by whatever means possible... 
Spiral here: 
Have you tried any of the 
techniques yet? Can you feel anything from the material or feel any 
kind of recognition within yourself? 

Gerardus here: 
I have not been able to do any of the exercises and or even read the ones 
that are in book One and Two. I would like to read the books once more 
first. At present, as usual for the last ten years, I am occupied with MY 
work up to my eyeballs so to speak. I do - I do - I do - what I find the 
most important thing to do. This is taking care of my people. As far as 
Gerardus is concerned - do not worry about him. His Soul is enlightened 
already. I am here to testify to this, by being what I am, an Instrument of 
The Infinite Light to share some here and there. Lately I have been working 
on my latest article. It's kind of surprising and I am pleased with it. It 
is 99.9% finished. Be my guest -- http://www.soulwise.net/25i-ask.htm
Only one Candle - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 30 May 2002 10:24:45 -0700
To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [4D-S] Fw: [doveofo] NESARA & Prosperity Countdown
Reply-To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com

The Dove egroup currently has more than 8,260 members.
Mahrouk here: 

Wow, with the sort of message they are giving out I'm surprised they don't 
have 8 million.
Let's also call forth WORLD PEACE; NESARA is officially and legally linked 
to World Peace. Prosperity Now! NESARA NOW!
What does this mean- 'officially' and 'legally'? What does it ALL mean? I 
hope good things happen but at the same time I cannot help noticing what a 
brilliant game plan this would be to keep mass energy focused on wealth and 
magical dreams of a better tomorrow without needing to lift a toe or open 
one's eyes to what's going on. Does the world look like it's moving towards 

Gerardus here:
Hi Mahrouk... 
Thank you for your insight. I had a good laugh about your million members!

What is generally not understood by many is this: 
The more members there are on a list or organization for that matter - the 
more they all belong to a specific group. All members become or are 
"groupies" then and although it is not called a religion or belief system, 
it naturally is anyway...

Was Buddha a groupie? Was Jesus? Was Krishna a groupie? Was Einstein? 
How about Tesla? Was Edison? Niels Bohr maybe? Naturally not! 

Here is another point - everybody seem to be looking for Truth. 
Well Truth, or Life, or God, or the Universe - they are all the same thing! 
Do people search for Life?? 
Do they search for the Universe?? 
Why then do they search for Truth?? 
Truth is not Lost! How can it be found? 

People who look or search for Truth are lost themselves! This needs to be 
understood before any real progress can be made on the Individual path...
Life, Truth, the Universe, the Self, the Light, or God can only be 
experienced! One cannot find it some place or run into it by being 
a member of some group. ----> Not even 4D !!!!!!!!

Groupie of One - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 08 Jun 2002 19:38:53 -0700
This must be the beginning of the second TriLite List!

To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [TriLite] First Post - The One Knowing!

To all Listers... (Two of them maybe)

Once you know who you are 
all looking and searching stops.
All teachings then become stories 
and all stories become teachings. 

All things then are just as interesting as the next 
while yet we have preferences for that is our nature.

Knowing this or knowing that 
is but an exchange of differences 
for no Being can ever know it all.
In the mean time... 

it is not important to know anything 
except the knowing of the One Knowing.

Realizing who or what I AM - Gerardus


Date: Sun, 09 Jun 2002 20:02:15 -0700
To: 4D-Special@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [4D-S] God is Creation!

To All Thinkers 
       and Non-Thinkers...

The story that God created man is not true... 
                     But the story that man created God is!


God is Creation!
They are One Being or Energy 
but seemingly divided for those 
who live in the illusionary world of the senses...

To live in this world 
is a privilege that confuses most of us...

It's not unsurmountable - Gerardus


Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 12:28:55 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [TriLite] We play Games with our Energy...

Welcome to all New TriLiters...! 
(Seventeen Members strong Now)
And just Hello to all the rest... 

I wrote something to another list this morning and I thought that it would 
fit right in TriLite's Metaphysical Department. So here it is.

Comment are welcome...

There is only One Energy in the Universe and we are that Energy - Almighty 
and Infinitely Powerful. Since this is so, we play games with our Energy and 
incarnate into all kinds of different bodies and/or things creeping and 
crawling around. In each of these bodies and things we become aware as 
those bodies and things and often believe that some other Force or Creator 
created us... 

This is a most accepted story or belief as people call it. Some make 
religions out of it and declare themselves closer to God. 

Little do the religions and their followers know, 
that they have not learned enough about themselves, 
in order to grok that there is but One Energy - the One They Are - the 
Creator hiding within the Created, of which only a few sit there and smile 
like a Buddha...

Only One Candle - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 11:30:47 -0700
Envelope-to: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
X-Sender: gerardus@pop.otvcablelan.net
X-Mailer: QUALCOMM Windows Eudora Pro Version 3.0.5 (32)
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Thought-Bubbles...

>>Thece Here: 
>>Gerardus, these are all part of you, correct???
Hi Thece... 
We are all "aspects" (part) of each other. We are all aspects or facets of 
the One Infinite Diamond or Miracle! In a "One Energy Universe", there are 
no parts and/or portions. This is why I speak of "aspects" and sometimes of 
"characteristics" or "expressions"...

In any case, I know I have Guides or Helpers, for they have helped me when 
I wrote all my Poems. I sometimes came up with English words, I as a 
Dutchman had never seen, and I had to look them up in the dictionary. My 
poems really surprised me and at first, and I thought that I, (Gerardus) 
had become that good all of a sudden. Not me! Helpers beyond me!! I know 
the words when they are needed. 

They come very fast sometimes - too fast for a slow writer. 
So, since I know I have Guides - I have come up with 
different characteristics for these Guides that show through me. Now!! All 
this is pure imagination - but when you grok - you know that imagination is 
the only thing that is real - Thoughts are Real...

So, are these People/Guides part of me? - yes naturally they are. They are 
part of you too! The entire universe is a part of "us" - if I keep speaking 
in parts that is. We all are the "Same One Being" expressed into different 
expressions. We put on Energy-Suits. This is done so that we have something 
to do which is most intriguing and awfully hard to figure out. It's a Mind 

On my pages I have a picture and words that kind of explain the entire 
layout of the universe in a very simple way. Look there if you like -- 
http://www.soulwise.net/25g-awl.htm ---- There is also another file that 
might help to grok more about the puzzle that needs to be solved before we 
can understand it in human terms -- http://www.soulwise.net/25whatis.htm
What has happened to us is this: we as human beings in 3D enclosed 
ourselves into "thought-bubbles" (the things you see in cartoons and 
contain the words these characters think or say). Well, that's us see. We 
are thought-bubbles and the thoughts and the words "IN" the thought-bubbles 
determine how solid our thought-bubble-skin is. This is so, because we 
have limited ourselves to the personal thoughts or secrets we think or 
assume we are...

Like: I am a computer technician, I am a medical assistant, I am an 
electrician, I am a psychologist, I am a Gnostic, I am an Agnostic, I am a 
Christian, I am a Thief, I am a Lawyer, I am Bill Johnson, I am Bert 
Bakkerak, I am Theo --- so we have enclosed ourselves by a few ideas 
and words - while in actuality we are the Universe or the Creative Force 
compressed into a stupid thought-bubble. Many people like it that way, 
because it makes them feel safe. Their limitations are their safety 
blankets! We need Expansion --- Openness...

Trick is to OPEN up this Thought-Bubble and let some intuition slip in. 
This means that we have to let go of our 3D way of thinking and living by 
becoming OPEN to the rest of what we are. Open to Guides, Helpers, Souls 
and who knows what else. We must open up to 4D and 5D realms. That is what 
is called Enlightenment - Opening Up to our True Self. Opening up to "The 
Infinite Light" We Are...

Our intuitive Self or our Soul is connected to all things and/or minds in 
the universe. So, to connect to our Soul or Higher Self means to open up 
our 3D Bubble, this must be done by forgetting about 3D personality stuff 
or secrets that we guard as if they are worth something. They are not worth 
a darn thing - for we are our Soul in Actuality. To experience the Soul We 
Are - we need to open up our thought-bubble by letting go of nonsense...

Mind and Soul Surgeon - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 20:36:59 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] The Song of the SongMaster

At 09:56 AM 6/14/2002 +1000, you wrote: 
>In our early childhood spiritual and religious education, there 
>were a few stories that captured our imagination and perhaps made a 
>bigger impact on us than others. Some even made it on to the "Big 
>Screen". The Story of Moses and that of King David were amongst 
>However, were these "Bible Stories" really the way we were told .. 
>or was there something underneath them that we "saw through" - 
>some other essence - an awakening of a deeper knowing - 
>a remembering that was later to be buried under the following years 
>of Dogmatic Institutional Indoctrination - and made wrong.

Hello Christopher... 
I am amazed at your knowledge! 
I am not assured however, that what you write can directly be accepted as 
something valuable beyond all other knowledge and/or intuitive feelings or 
radical knowing...

Here is something you say on the anunda page: 
"You may find this site especially valuable if you've tried lots of 
self-help, religious, spiritual or self-exploration approaches before - but 
they either haven't "felt right" or did not produce the consistent, lasting 
results you long for".

Now, about this not feeling quite right. That is exactly the way I feel 
when I read your quotations from the bible or writings from people who have 
knowledge of all these scripture. It just does not sit well with me. I feel 
that it misses the point completely in many cases, while in the mean time, 
many people feel committed to study all this because it is so old and 
therefore must contain value or spirituality for that matter. Spirituality 
is a matter of Practicality - the BeHereNow reality of Common Sense... 
Therefore, I believe the Here and Now - by being here - with the 
contemporary writers of today. Not the hashed over and forever revised 
writings of yesterday! I will try to explain shortly as follows... 

One example to keep it short: 
It seem to me that the story of Jesus was supposed to have happened to a 
personality called Jesus. In the mean time, the same story has been told 
thousands of years before him, and even more of the same stories before 
that. To me they are nothing but repeats of a con game we fell for. 
Another thing, why would a Man of great knowledge sacrifice himself for the 
common masses. The whole thing just does not sit well with me...

I say: 
We are the Truth and the Reality but fall for stories and illusions. 
As I see it, the bible and all other so called holy books have been 
inspired by higher dimensional dark forces that "use" humanity for their 
own purposes. In order words, because of our established religions and its 
followers, the world has become a quagmire of unrest, instability, wars, 
and worse - exploitation. These 4d/5d forces live off these negative 
energies. Also, they live off mankind the way we live off cattle of 
chickens. They steal our children... 

We can see this up to this day, for as far as I can see what's happening, 
our present dark forces have a hold on the USA. The government there 
presently, is vastly becoming a Fascist Movement that indeed will put us 
deeper into Hell than the world has ever been. It will not even be close to 
what it was in Germany in the forties. I was there! Now, all this is fine 
for the sake of Experiences and no doubt we asked for it. There is an end 
to misery however, and I do not feel that we have to take and believe and 
live by the inspired wordy nonsense in any old book or scripture. The time 
has passed for that kind of thing. We have enough intuitive people on this 
world now to do away with these Masters of the Dark and their stories...

The state of our world, in my view, is a result of so called inspirations 
by the dark forces that have been influencing mankind for thousands of 
years. The inspired holy books have taking this world for a ride for a long 
time now. This is why - personally, I do not pay attention to anything that 
has been written more than say fifty years ago, except for some of the 
writings of Lao Tzu and other great scholars...

For more on this please see: 
and the article clickable from there...
Here is a quote from my friend Alexander: 
The only way one can spend an eternity in hell 
is to not realize that one is already there!

Gerardus here: 
We are ready to rule Humanity by means Humanity - Gerardus


Date: Wed, 19 Jun 2002 19:57:29 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [TL] Thinking Thoughts...

Hello TriLiters...
This is a portion of a post I sent to another list. 
I thought that it would fit on TriLite also:

Gerardus here: 
Anybody who creates a God has done so because of conditioning. This is what 
needs to be wiped clean before real understanding can take place. Anyone who 
believes in God - has put upon himself a burden of universal proportions - 
before long - he sees himself as a sinner instead of a Universal Being 
awakening to its own Greatness. The universe is like a pop-corn machine. 

Living Life heats us up and sooner or later we pop into our Universal Mind 
again. From that Level, aspects of ourselves start from scratch. Life is a 
forever lasting chain of experiences. No Being can stop it - we can only 
change certain things when we become conscious enough to do so. When we 
become fully conscious - we know that no thing needs to be changed for 
things are exactly as they should be. The Universe is a Change Machine. 
God is Creation. Creation is about Change. Man is about Money...

The Universe and/or Creation IS a forever lasting Performance or a Play. We 
play roles in this play - we fulfill functions. Within this play all actors 
are the same energy differently - therefore all things, actors and other 
creatures ARE of equal value. Those who play a minor role now, will play a 
major role later, when ready for it. We all slowly move up and then look 
after the lower realms of the Universe. We cycle and recycle ourselves 
endlessly - there is no end nor beginning to it. There is no High, there is 
no Low. There is Creation in Equality living in Duality - yet in the 
Oneness of the One Energy...

The Universe is a Dream that dreams itself. We are the figments of and in 
our own Dream. The Dream is Real - the Dream is Illusion - We are the 
Dreamer. Within this Dream we are able to become more consciously aware of 
what this Dream means and contains. Awareness expansions bring us up to 
different levels or densities from time to time... 

Here is something about the kind of periods we go through -- 
http://www.soulwise.net/25h-cdn.htm Is all this True? It does not matter! 
Once you know that you are the Truth - there are only stories...

This Dreamer never awakens - Gerardus


To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] Gerardus the CREATOR
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

At 06:29 PM 6/19/2002 -0700, you wrote:

Alexander here: 
I forgot how entertaining TriLite was! Thank YOU for CREATING it 
once again. I have been away too long.

Hello Alexander... 
Glad you found the time to post. I always liked your insight! 
Did you, or do you look into my mind nowadays - or what? 
Just kidding... 

Gerardus here: 
This is Great. For him! How does that help you? Does it mean that you 
must become his follower because he is the best there is? Do you want to 
be his follower?
I follow pure spiritual logic from God and his pure representatives. You 
follow your imperfect mind speculation. As I said real God is beyond our 

Alexander here: 
Wow, I am not familiar with this type of logic. Is it a new sect of 
logic? If god is beyond our Minds, then why do we go to such great 
lengths to define it for other people?

Gerardus here: 
It is easy to define for people who do not have the actual concepts of what 
Creator is - they just put the Creator (or God) beyond them and then study 
it. It is the most intelligent reversed psychology that even stretches the 
intelligence of those who invented it - but those who follow it have no 
problem with it. This is so, because they still continue to think according 
to the indoctrination that was received since birth. Happens all the time. 
I suffered from it for 35 or more years. I have been there!
The biggest trouble is that when the truth hits us - we reject it - because 
we have to admit that we were deceived. Our world literally fall apart! We 
feel lost!! We scratch not only head but whole body and extensions. It's 
hard on the ego for it usually happens to the most intelligent. I was not 
one of them however, and that is why it was easy for me to completely forget 
what I was taught. No doubt the minor big bang helped me. Come to think of 
it - it was self-inflicted... 

BTW - I am one of the pure representatives 

"The intimate servants of the Supreme Lord are fully absorbed in loving 
Him." [Narada-bhakti-sutra 70]  That means pure love. 

Alexander here: 
Sounds like a harem to me. As one of the pure representatives, I can 
assure you that any real god has no need for servants.

Gerardus here: 
Creator is in favor of equals - not of followers. 

 Gerardus here: 
You did not answer MY question: 
Is this Srila Prabhupada finished learning? 
Yes he is and even more. You can find on the web.

Gerardus here: 
I must have read that too quick the first time. It did not sink in. Imagine 
- someone knows someone who is finished learning. Wow! 

Gerardus here: 
The only thing I do not agree with by what he says, is the word "parts". 
Simply follow logic and you will understand. It is very easy to understand. 
Alexander here: 
What kind of logic?

Gerardus2 here: 
The one that is contained by mastering the reverse psychology of putting 
creator beyond you and then say I am finished learning because this Creator 
keeps hiding from me (Perfect Logic). Instead of understanding that the Good 
Old Creator lives right within all Beings and it actually comes up with all 
the questions while the answers flow forth from another aspects of itself. 
This naturally kind of says that Creator is a self-contained Oneness that 
appears in different forms as if it is many - which it is naturally - many 
in and as One, but temporarily deluded by the illusionary reality they live 

Gerardus here: 
He probably knew that there are no "parts" - but he uses the words 
to make it understandable to ordinary guys who are listening to him... 
Daya here: 
"To those who are constantly devoted to serving Me with love, I give the 
 understanding by which they can come to Me." [BG 10.10] 
This is exactly what pimps say to their whores - I saw it on tv.

Gerardus here: 
I must have been watching the same show. The trick naturally is for the 
whores to catch on. I kinda knew this already so I turned the TV off... 

Gerardus here: 
NO, I do not agree with parts and portions. That is what we see, but 
it is 
not what exist in the actuality of the One Energy. We are fooled into 
believing that there are parts and portions or fragments. Not so! The 
Universe is One Energy - One Mind! All parts are illusions. Even 
said something like that I think. He said: Yes, the universe is a very 
persistent illusion. He spoke of the physical universe. Matter and Mind 
are a continuum. They are one! There actually is no matter! Matter is a 
form of Mind. Matter is 99.999% empty as you know. How come we see and 
experience solidness?? 
"Therefore this entire universe, which like a dream is by nature unreal, 
nevertheless appears real, and thus it covers one's consciousness and 
assails one with repeated miseries. This universe appears real because 
it is 
manifested by the potency of illusion emanating from You, whose unlimited 
transcendental forms are full of eternal happiness and knowledge." 
[Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.14.22] 

This sounds like something Gerardus would say. I think Gerardus IS 
Krisna, or at least Arjuna.

Gerardus here: 
Another great problem of this "Supreme Being" teaching is - that a lot of it 
is true. It means that people see the truth of it and in the mean time 
swallow the nonsense or bait. They are like fishes see - do not know about 
hooks and stuff. Hooks are the brainwashing that takes place while one 
swallows that which is truth. One becomes a believer or follower and most 
likely die as one... 

Alexander here: 
>This exchange has been great. I think that Daya should start to 
>worship Gerardus like me. I worship a few different gods, including 
>myself, but Gerardus is the most benevolent of them all and the best 
>aspects are that I can really speak with him, I really know he is a he 
>and there is no middle man between us! Now that is being in touch with 
>the Creator!

Gerardus2 here: 
I have to disappoint you here Alexander. Followers are not allowed to 
worship me or my Gerardian Philosophies. This is a rule of this Philosophy! 
It would defeat the purposes of the universe. For in actuality my philosophy 
is the very philosophy of the followers on a different plane of 
understanding. It will be grasped in time. Meanwhile, we exorcize patience 
to the limit of kindness with nobility towards those who are hooked. We 
realize that we live in a world of Duality where Creator is Sinner and 
Saint. I even have a sneaky suspicion that Creator truly enjoys the Sinner 
roles, but it is not necessarily ready to admit this openly to Saints. At 
least not in the light of day. Naturally all this is only my suspicion and I 
would want to speculate on it... 

Alexander here:
I must end with a favorite quote from the venerable Rev. Walpola Rahula, 
"What is Nirvana? Nirvana which is the Absolute Truth or Ultimate 
Reality cannot 
be explained in mundane language as language is created and used by 
human beings 
to express things and ideas experienced by their sense organs and their 
mind. A 
supramundane experience like that of the Absolute Truth is not of such a 
category and there cannot be words to express that experience, just as 
the fish 
had no words in his vocabulary to express the nature of the solid land. 
tortoise told his friend, the fish, that he (the tortoise) had just 
returned to 
the lake after a walk on the land. "Of course", the fish said, "You mean 
swimming." The tortoise tried to explain that one couldn't swim on the 
that it was solid, and that one walked on it, but the fish insisted that 
could be nothing like it, that it must be liquid like his lake, with 
waves, and 
that one must be able to dive and swim there. 
Words are symbols representing things and ideas known to us and these 
symbols do 
not and cannot convey the nature of even ordinary things. So the 
Sutta says that ignorant people get stuck in words like an elephant in 
the mud." 

Gerardus here" 
Agreed! In the mean time, the only way to get out of the mud is by trying to 
articulate the vibrations that convey the understanding of the Infinite and 
Unlimitedness that is present within all human beings as well as in all 
creatures of creation. For indeed - all expressions of Creator are equal and 
unlimited in scope and potential. To realize that this is so, is a matter 
of forgetting what we have been taught by the society in which we were 
raised in, and this might include Father, Mother, Aunt Mary and Uncle Bernt 
- who meant well - but were not aware of their unlimitedness either. If so, 
it would have been conveyed to the child they raised. We go through all 
these different lifetimes in order to experience different lifetimes and 
eventually realize who or what we are in actuality - The One That Is All...

Blessing and Laughter - Gerardus


Date: Fri, 21 Jun 2002 10:47:00 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [TL] God is Creation!

At 11:19 AM 6/21/2002 +0200, you wrote: 
It is like the apple seed. It contains a millions other apple trees and a 
billions times a billion apples - an infinite amount of apples actually! 
The same with each human being - the Boy contains the Grand Father. The 
Grand Father is already present in the Boy... 
A billion apple come into existence only if spiritual spark enters into 
apple seed. Without spiritual spark there is no life. Every spiritual sparks 
have his identity and therefore the different bodies are developed. If all 
spiritual sparks are one than the body will be same. The soul is atomic in 
size and can be perceived by perfect intelligence. Every soul has his 
identity. After liberation soul can be one with Super Soul (spiritual 
identity suicide) and in revival different eternal relationship with Supreme 

Hello Daya...
The Spiritual Spark is always already in the apple seed - for the seed 
itself is the spark! Although the word "spark" is not a very good 
description of The Infinite Light (TIL). The seed as we see it, is only a 
very small aspect of the actual energy the whole seed is. The actual whole 
seed IS the entire Universe!!! The seed IS Creator, God, or TIL. In 
actuality there is no separation between seeds and apples, and or trees, and 
or people and or the Creator. The Creator = Creation...

For human beings living in physical reality however there seems to be a 
separation between seeds and apples and trees and all the rest. In the 
universe as Energy no thing is separate. All is One Energy!
There also is no separation between you and the TriLite Members. That is why 
they take effort to stay in contact. They can show you the Garden, but they 
cannot make you enjoy the view however! This means - we can give you the 
words - but you must do the understanding...

In a way, the apple seed is like human beings. Human being have auras (the 
aura is also an aspect of the human). As a matter of fact it is their 
subconsciousness or their Soul. This Soul in connected to the entire 
universe or the Creative Energy by means of "Invisible-Light" or invisible 
energy vibrations (Let's call it Spirit). Our scientists have not discovered 
this kind of high vibrating invisible energy. It is there anyway! All 
things are connected together by invisible energy vibrations. Humans are 
able to see very little of the total universal spectrum of energy 
vibrations. We see an infinitely small aspect or the Universal Continuum. 
This is what fools us! We think there is separation because we experience 
separation. What connects all things together and makes them one energy - 
is the energy of what loosely could be call Spirit, Mind or Consciousness. 

There is only One Mind...
We are Eddie-Currents in the River of Life - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 22 Jun 2002 15:35:06 -0700
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: A Play! No more - no less...

Hi Stefan... 
I have different ideas about Love and sending it to others. I feel that this 
interferes with their free will. I think we could write ten posts about this 
back and forth - but most likely it would not change your or my opinion 
about our positions...

My basic rule is to send Love/Help/Energy/Words to those who ask. The 3D 
world and its environment is like Grade Three in Elementary School. Neither 
of them need to be fixed by Love or with Love. We attend and learn our 
lessons. We learn at our own speed. When we make the grade - we pass to 4D 
or Grade Four... 

IOW: there is nothing wrong with 3D and or Grade Three the way they are. The 
world does not need fixing. We attend, pass through them, and leave them the 
way they were. We are not here to improve or change the world. We are here 
to change ourselves. We change ourselves by learning our lessons. One of 
these lessons is not to interfere with the free will of others. The world, 
rather, the whole Universe is a Stage. We play our roles and learn by 
playing them. Eventually, we learn that all Actors are equal. All Actors are 
the same Energy in different form. It expresses itself in order to entertain 
itself. It is a Play. No More, No Less...

The lessons of 3D are Knowledge - Gerardus


Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002 15:48:36 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
X-Yahoo-Profile: imualso
Subject: Re: [TL] What's this??

Gerardus here: 
I guess I must have been included in your Spirit's Plan. 
What else is in there? - Gerardus 

Stefan here: 
 I have no doubt that you are one of the highlights of my plan. 

Gerardus here: 
I hope I can live up to it. 
Do you think that there is anything special I need to do? 

Stefan here: 
Spirit has made it clear to me that I can not be privy to what my plan 
entails, except for what I can ascertain in the here and now. I acquiesce to 
consciousness that is far wiser than I, but I wonder. I wonder why my soul 
would choose to be born into a world where it's body is being stalked by a 
pathological killer (my term for the secret government). 

Gerardus here: 
It looks to me that your Spirit allows you to be in a playful mood, so I 
kind of "hang-out" SpiritWise and play along. Here I go: I think that your 
greater body, as you call it, knew that it would give the little body the 
very experience that your greater body embraces Dark as well as Light in 
about a 50/50 ratio. It kind of means that all of us are half Bad - half 
Good. It's all outlined in the Department of Divinity where All is One. No 
Dark no Light so to speak... 

My term for the Secret Government is "The Almighty Trinity" ---> (1)The 
Religions, (2)The World Bank, (3) The Politicians. It's kind of three hands 
on one belly - the belly of mankind that is. What would the world be without 
them? A useless Paradise where we had no puzzles to solve and nothing much 
to do. All things would be too cozy to disturb our Stay in GraceLand where 
the King lives. This kind of Paradise would have no challenges and we would 
not even have to get up to eat - we have our meals laying down so to speak. 
What a terrible sight that would be. The Eternal Reclining Eaters... Wow! 

Stefan here: 
I wonder how this soul could manage to discern it's way through the maze of 
3D poisons and illusions and find the fresh air of upper 4D. I wonder if 
everything I have seen and heard about the nature of 3D body death is a lie. 
But I don't wonder about my plan, I just live it. 

Gerardus here: 
I feel that Souls can hold their nose a long time and sail through DDDDs 
without being troubled by pollution or poisons. They are used to it! They 
"plane" through so to speak! I also think that the best way to find out 
about the nature of death in 3D is to ask an undertaker or two - they 
usually do not fool around much and speak truth because Death is their Bread 
and Butter. They make a Living from this kind of Death. Maybe they are the 
forerunners of those who aspire and wish that 4D was here already. I think 
4D is within everybody like Grandmothers are within Womenhood. It's kind of 
built in like an apple seed - just there.
Going back to your first line: 
***Spirit has made it clear to me that I can not be privy to what my plan 
entails, except for what I can ascertain in the here and now.***
I figure that you got the better end of the bargain. However, it does mean 
that your Free Will is in some kind of instantaneous/simultaneous "Now What 
State" while it ponders the next move?

My spirit has made it privy to me that it cannot be sure of what it needs to 
do - because the whole shebang is up to me. It knows that I pay the Fiddler 
and call my Dance. Naturally, I have to keep my steps within the limits of 
the physical. I guess your Spirit and my Spirit are holding up the opposite 
ends of the Spirit Spectrum. How will be ever meet, except in this 
CyberParadise of Words on Screen?

And like you said: 
***But I don't wonder about my plan, I just live it.***
Yes, indeed, in a universe where time is an illusion, what else can we do 
but just live the next minute as if it was the first and the last. Good 

How do you know there is fresh air in 4D? - Gerardus 
(Do you think people are holding their nose there?)


Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 15:20:06 -0700
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: The Apple Seed...

Still there Alexander? - Gerardus here: 
I have read Kuhn's article now and no doubt he clarified the Genesis Story a 
lot. He is a smart and wise man. However, when I was finished reading I had 
only read a clarification of a story. That in and by itself is also only a 
story! I had trouble finishing it even for it does not really explain 
anything. Like the mystery of the universe or so. To explain that - I would 
like to start with explaining something a bit smaller first - the Apple 

Here is the explanation: It works!!
As you know mysteries cannot be explained in words, and possibly not without 
them either, and all we can do is accept what is. This is kind of easy for 
me somehow, for I usually do not read any writings that are older then fifty 
years or so. Here is why - I feel that the answers we are looking for - are 
not found in the past or the writings of the past. The answers are right in 
front of us when we look into the mirror and see our reflection - we see our 
Reflection! While in actuality - the actual thing reflected is a Reflection 
itself. This Reflection (our body) is the Reflection of our own Infinite 
Subconsciousness - it reflect itself as the manifested universe, known and 
unknown, high and low, as well as in matter as human bodies. In the mean 
time - it also *is* matter! For the IS to express itself is a natural thing 
to do - it's as simple as being an Apple Seed! To be what is - is its 

More here: 
God or TIL is Creation (TIL is The Infinite Light) 
TIL is equal to Creation - but it is Creation in a different form, the 
Manifested Form. 

So, Creation is TIL's reflection or manifestation. God or TIL is the all 
embracing Infinite Subconsciusness and is the unmanifested. Since the nature 
of the unmanifested is to express itself, it manifests itself. It does this 
in order to know itself. It's a forever happening and all beings in creation 
are aspects of this manifestation - reflecting TIL as it needs to be in 
order to get to know itself... 

TIL manifests itself into seemingly separate manifestations (an infinite 
amount of beings and things) in order to make a game and/or puzzle of it. In 
actuality there is no separation, for TIL embraces all things. The 
manifestation literally "swims" within TIL. The manifestation "swims" in 
the energy TIL is. TIL completely surrounds its manifestation for it all 
takes place in the Mind TIL is. What I am saying here is that the whole 
thing is a subjective thing - not objectively real - and our reality is a 
self-created point of view. There is no objective reality. We all create our 
own subjective reality and interpretations thereof...

Somehow we look at all this as a puzzle and search for answers to solve this 
puzzle or to find our origin or whatever. Our origin does not lay in the 
past. It is always hitting us in the face. It is all around us and is - the 
IS - the Infinite Subconsciousness. Which we sort of like to divide and then 
say, I have my own subsconsciousness. There is no such thing! It's all One! 
At most we are specific aspects of this Oneness. Specific Eddie-Currents if 
you like...

Because of the experiences we have as seemingly independent beings - we 
become wiser and wiser. Eventually we see through the puzzle! When we get 
the real hang of our visions and knowing, we see that all beings and things 
are equals, for we all represent the IS We Are. The IS - is our Infinite 
Subsconciousness. The Energy that embraces ALL - and is ALL - and is the 
Energy or Universal Mind within which its manifestations are projections 
that seemingly do not live within this Mind according to human beings, 
because Mind is invisible to them at the moment... 

Story Teller - Gerardus


Date: Fri, 12 Jul 2002 15:10:40 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [TL] Thinking again...
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

To all TriLiters...
Gerardus here: 
I have been thinking again...

Question to all: 
If the universe is all about Change 
how can there be any Truth in it? 
I think Change is the only Truth!
Except for what We Are naturally... 
We are the Truth and the Reality but fall for stories and illusions. 

Next thoughts
It's about admiration, adoration and praying. 
If we as Human Souls belong to the Universal Family of Light and have older 
and younger Soul-Brothers and Soul-Sisters in higher and lower densities, 
while at the same time the Whole of Creation is God or the Self We Are - why 
do we need to pray? We would end up praying to ourselves, or aspects of 
ourselves. Kind of useless I figure...

All I can say is, that I believe in Service and Helping others. As far as I 
can see (not very far), that's really what Life is all about - Service to 
Others! I feel that is what our Helpers and Guides, Masters and Great 
Masters are about also - Helping Others! After all, all we do is help our 
own siblings in the Family of Light or TIL...

All that is left to say now is, that we need to respect others, for all 
others are ourselves! Therefore, I do not see any use for prayers and/or 
humbleness either. Are we supposed to be humble because we recognize the 
Light or Christ within us? I feel that all this humbleness is a spoiled 
leftover from the religions...

Alright, shoot me down or at least say something - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 13 Jul 2002 11:45:06 -0700
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Truth and the Real...

I have some questions about the following though: 
You say that -- "This illusory reality is a living conscious entity". 
Could you explain that a bit more? What is it conscious about? 
IOW: does it know anything and/or is it self-aware?

I see the illusionary reality as an expression of our subconscious mind that 
automatically projects what we have put into this subconsciousness - with 
our conscious thinking. IOW: we create our own collective reality by our 
thoughts. These thoughts shape and form the energy available for that 
purpose and shape/form what's we experience or see out there. In the mean 
time, there really is no "out there" for all of it is within, and is, 
the one mind we are...

I see "reality" any place, and on any plane of being, as the result of the 
collective thought of the beings that exist on that plane. While in an by 
itself the "reality" is the energy of mind or cosmic energy, that not 
necessarily is conscious of being what it is. Examples: is the air conscious 
of being air? Is a toaster conscious of being a toaster? Is my monitor 
conscious of being a monitor. Do these things have awareness? 

Gerardus here: 
Yes, we differ a bit here. 
I agree that "We Are The Living Truth" living in a human body and have 
experiences in an illusionary reality, while at the same time the body we 
live in, is also an illusion. It looks to me, that we are having a 
waking-dream and experience certain happenings in this waking-dream from 
which we draw certain conclusions. The dream is real - yes - but our 
experiences are personal and we have personal perceptions, conclusions or 
viewpoints about these happenings at this particular time. Maybe tomorrow we 
think differently about what we experienced. IOW: we keep changing our mind 
about the same, or certain occurrences, and we do this ten times say. 
Question: which one was the truth? All or None? 
All is personal perception I figure...

I do not think that there is any truth to be found - within the waking dream 
we are living. All these experiences do, is bring us back to the "Truth We 
Always Were" in the first place. We come to our True Self - by means of 
illusions or no-truths so to speak. We find ourselves by means of dreaming! 
That's why I say the world in which we live is a Lie, an Illusion. Nothing 
in it is true or truth. It only looks that way... 

Stefan here: 
Dreams, Lessons, the Soul, all different truths, in my opinion. 

Gerardus here: 
Yes, I say this: 
Dreams, Lessons, the Soul, are all different illusions to reach the Real.
The One We are - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 13 Jul 2002 19:47:46 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [TL] Thinking again...
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

Hi Gerardus, 
I have a story to tell. In the beginning, universal light was called 
Father and the universal holographic time matrix was a floating energy 
called the Mother. The Father was infinite consciousness, Infinite 
experiments, infinite trials, infinite errors, infinite re-trials, 
infinite triumphs, all within an infinite visionary mind. The Mother 
not sure who she was. She was conscious, but mostly asleep, and when she 
awake she was very lonely. The Mother had no idea she was a universal 
holographic time matrix, she was just herself; an energy field floating in 
the cosmos. It so happened that the Mother and the Father found each other 
in the cosmos. When they made love the Mothers body ignited into myriads 
cosmic creations. Each cosmic creation was endowed with a portion of the 
Fathers light, and a portion of the Mothers multidimensional energy field. 
Each cosmic creation was a Soul with a multidimensional energy body. Each 
Soul was born out of the infinite consciousness of the Father and the 
multidimensional energy of the Mother. 
I believe that everything we experience is imbued with the 
of and energy of the Mother. All the matter of the universe in all the 
dimensions is the body of the Mother, and it is all conscious. What 
to be external is our reflection on the energy field that is the Mother. 
What is reflected back to us is the Mothers truth as she reads it from our 
Soul. As Souls we cannot separate ourselves form our experience. Many 
want to take responsibility for what is reflected back and blame the 
I think it's a great delusion to believe that our experience is 
meaningless. The stories that we fall for tells us who we are. 

Nice story Stefan! 
Stories are only stories though. 
The last one I believed in was called 
"Little Red Riding Hood". That was an odd 70 years ago... 

Did I miss your answer to my question? 
 Here is the question again. 
 Gerardus here: 
I have some questions about the following though: 
You say that -- "This illusory reality is a living conscious entity". 
Could you explain that a bit more? What is it conscious about? 
IOW: does it know anything and/or is it self-aware? 
 Stefan here: 
 Yes, I believe the illusory multidimensional reality that we experience is 
 conscious, but it may a different type 
 of consciousness than the ego consciousness that human Souls experience. 

Gerardus here: 
Yes, I see what you mean. 
I see this Energy (in which we swim) as our Infinite Subconsciousness in 
which we "live" and have our being in such a way that we are projected out 
of it as human beings and do not know that we live there and are really it! 
IOW: we are unconscious that we live in our own Subconscious Mind (The 
Universal Mind) but that what is "projected" from the IS - are the 
manifested realities that form all planes of being and we find 
ourselves in one of them - the 3D plane of earth...

All things that belong to the manifested aspects of the IS - have awareness 
according to the needs of their beingness or activity. So, we live in a 
conscious creation, that is/was manifested or projected from the Infinite 
Subconsciousness (the IS) we all are in the first place. So within the "IS" 
- we are all One. But in the manifested regions or planes we are many...

So I recognize two things/phenomenon that are each other:
1) The Infinite Subconsciousness - the IS - the Unmanifested which 
is not self-aware or knows anything for that matter...
2) The Planes of Reality in which all Beings and Things have their 
existence, which I call the Manifested and within which we all have 
awareness according to our functions. Within the Manifested there are 
different types of Beings who have different levels of awareness. 
Some Beings are fully aware or conscious...

Naturally the second phenomenon is impossible without the first...

Stefan here: 
It is a dynamic responsive energy 
field that is a reality in and of itself. We experience it as the world. 
Others may experience it as something 
completely different. It's beyond me to describe the nature of this 
archetypal consciousness. I think It's for each of us 
to discern it's nature directly. 

Gerardus here: 
Yes, agreed! 
We all create from that Energy - the perceptions that "fit" our awareness 
level. IOW: wherever we are - we experience our own creations. These 
creations naturally are the collective result of the many or humanity...

I keep asking to clarify some of these things and questions, for I feel that 
by doing this, you and I, and possible more than we two, are challenged to 
our limits and it brings clarity to our expressions and thoughts. 
Notwithstanding the fact however that all this takes place in an illusionary 
reality - but I feel that it pushes us to the next higher level of awareness. 
I hope that you don't mind...

So Be It - Gerardus


Date: Wed, 17 Jul 2002 19:57:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: andrew pickens 
Subject: [CropCircleConnection] Re: [Truth and Collective Consciousness
Reply-To: CropCircleConnection@yahoogroups.com

Gerardus....how eloquently spoken. Your level of awareness and consciousness 
shines through your words. As a fellow light worker, your words resonate the 
truth in my higher self. We are all things and all things are us. We are not 
separate, but a part of the whole, part of the one. As connected beings to 
the energy field that is the universe, what are thoughts of the individual, 
are actually part of the mass/collective consciousness. As above, so below. 
Keep up the good work. 
Peace, Love, and Light, Namaste', 

Gerardus  wrote: 
At 05:59 PM 7/17/2002 -0700, you wrote: 

Hello, All...While I believe we all have our "own" truth, there is but one 
real truth, that being universal truths which apply to all beings equally. 
Everthing else is the person's "illusion," or their perception of their 
reality. It may not apply to other's reality. So you may say there are many 
"truths". Applied as the individual sees fit. 


Hello Andrew...
Yes, you are right! That's exactly what I said...

"The truth is that there is only individual truth - Gerardus"

It applies to all Beings equally!!

In the case above, to what I said - you may add 'real' in front 
of the first word truth. It becomes then:

"*** The real truth is that there is only individual truth ***" - Gerardus

Don't you think that i f there was a real truth, that would apply to all 
beings, that someone would have caught on to it by now in all those billion 
of years mankind has been on earth - and told the others? The human fallacy 
is however, that he completely overlooks its own Greatness! Its own 
Unlimitedness! He is deceived into believing that he is something that 
needs to reach for greener pastures or better places. The point is, if we 
are not able to appreciate where we are now - how can we possible be able to 
appreciate the next place? Our awareness does not change by moving 
somewhere else...

Where we are, or find ourselves, depends on the level of our awareness. 
Higher awareness means - moving to different experiences and greater 
understanding of our predicament. The predicament of being deluded by 
religions, teachers of all kinds, and whatever else this world offers. What 
is needed is "Awareness of Self" - who or what really are We? The practise 
of rituals and or exercises is completely beyond what it needed to promote 
ourselves. Do you think Buddha or Krishna or Lao-Tzu were doing rituals and 
therefore understood what is? In the mean time, I do not say that rituals, 
exercises and affirmations hinder our progress, but they certainly are not 
needed for all...

Human Life as I see it is not about truth, real truth, or absolute truth. It 
is about Ourselves! It is about the human condition and or predicament. It 
is about human experiences in our creation - these experiences eventually 
bring us back to the "Truth We Are" - WE ARE THE TRUTH - TIL - The Infinite 
Light. Which descends into its own creation, and among many beings, becomes 
human, to slowly climb back to its Infinite State of being ITSELF. That what 
we always were in the first place...

At any one time, or no-time - nothing changed about us, except that we as 
TIL dream our creation and live in it as the created. We li ve in it as 
Mankind. We have become the figments of our own dream! While at all time we 
are the Dreamer and the Dream - The Creator and the Created. They are the 
same! God = Creation! All we need to do is awaken fully to this...

However, because of our position as the Created - or as the Effect of the 
Cause We Are - we are almost unable to recognize our own Cause - The Creator 
or Dreamer. We think/feel that we are some other force or being, that needs 
to follow a certain teacher in order to get somewhere. Life is the Teacher 
- Life lives us! It lives within. We can only catch on by listening to 

Only one candle - Gerardus


At 06:19 PM 7/21/2002 -0700, you wrote:
>Hi Olga:
>Olga wrote:
>> In my experience most folks don't understand the difference between an
>> "emotion" and a "feeling".... there is a BIG difference ... at least as I
>> have been taught ...
>> There is only *one* emotion [energy in motion] ... that's LOVE, it's a
>> facet of ALL-THERE-IS .... when it hits the 3D curtain of duality, it
>> splits into 2 ... Love at one end, and its polar opposite *fear* at the
>> other ... both by the way, or motive powers... one positive the other
>> negative ...

>Alexander here:
>How can you characterize fear as negative? If a parent is fearful
>of a child getting hurt by playing in the street and moves them to
>the yard or sidewalk, is that fear negative?
>Is making one's mortgage payment, due to fear of losing one's
>home, negative?
>Is eating healthy and maintaining the body in fear of future
>sickness negative?

>Olga wrote:
>> FEELINGS on the other hand, are body generated responses, to whatever
>> situation we find ourselves ... feelings are *always* found IN the body...
>> the stomach/solar plexus ... the heart ... the crotch ... they *may* be
>> related to the chakras ... I've not read any test results on this ....
>> When we *fall in love* it's ALWAYS a physical or physiological  feeling in
>> the heart/crotch ... sometimes the response is only in the crotch.... then
>> its termed *lust* .. sometimes it's only in the heart ... then it's a
>> higher feeling of endearment, including compassion, empathy and caring....
>> The different kinds of feeling FEAR engenders, is felt in the stomach ...
>> from the famous fight or flight syndrome, which is a hyped up adrenalin
>> rush...... [and includes tensed up muscles and heightened awareness] ... to
>> the minor petty fears as anger, jealousies, hurt, et cet....

>Alexander here:
>Interesting, when one is prudent in their affairs because of fear
>of the consequences of not being so, does that prudence manifest
>itself as tensed up muscles or some other effect in the body?
>Is fear the least common denominator .........or is it Desire?

Hi Olga/Alexander - Gerardus here:
I find that the concepts of Love versus Fear are so wide open and 
individual, that they really cannot be put into words and listed as if they 
belong in "Cubby-Holes" tucked away to be referred to later on...

What about the Love of a Father for his daughter who is extremely sick, 
crippled and in terrible pain, begging him to end her life?  Suppose he does 
so - is that an act of violence or Love? Self-defence maybe because he 
cannot stand to hear her moan all day? 

How about the genuine love of a mother for her son who gives her chocolates 
once in a while, while all along her son is a criminal for he sells dope to 
children?  How about a doctor who finally decides to O.D. his terminal 
patient for he knows there is no way she or he can be cured?

Also, I feel that Emotions, Feelings, Attachments and Dependency become so 
intermingled that no-one can really say - this is the way to look at this, 
and what you are doing is an act of gross negligence of Free Will - because 
you acted out of "what you thought was right" to take away the booze your 
father relies upon to get through the day for he suffers from arthritis. The 
booze will kill him, but so what?

Life to me is one big individual Puzzle and no-one can say: this is Love, 
that is Attachment, this is Fear based, and this is Dependence, and this 
over here is a lack of allowing free will for you interfered by pulling 
these two people apart while both of them were ready to kill each other. 
What we have been taught about what are "emotions" and what are "feelings" 
are but second hand stories that very seldom apply to real situations. They 
all are nonsense when the time arrives when WE have to make the decisions 

For example:
If there is only *one* emotion [energy in motion] ... that's LOVE, what is 
the "feeling" I have for my brother who is sick and dying. Is that just a 
"feeling" and NOT Love?

Olga says:
FEELINGS on the other hand, are body generated responses, to whatever 
situation we find ourselves ... feelings are *always* found IN the body... 
the stomach/solar plexus ... the heart ... the crotch ... they *may* be 
related to the chakras ... I've not read any test results on this ....

If I feel and care for my brother who is sick - is that generated in my 
crotch?  All this to me in just not so - for all feelings are not 
body-generated. Many of them are the Soul's characteristic and an eternal 
part of us. It is what makes us Human - Human Gods. It's why we return to 
earth to learn more and help others...

Life is an individual Thing and what we do as individuals 
depends upon our feelings and our Soul-based characteristics.

Emotions are what we need to learn to control while at the same time 
we must learn to nurture our feelings. Feelings are the Nectar of the Gods 
upon which Creation is based and maintains itself...

We as Souls are Feeling Beings - Gerardus
(Souls have no crotches whatsoever)


Date: Mon, 22 Jul 2002 09:54:29 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] Re: Twin Suns (was Love thread)

Shawn here: 
I think Stefan once posted he thought/believed, or someone believed, 
or maybe he was just describing a theory of a Mother Father 
relationship, when it comes to duality. i kinda think that it is more 
of a brother sister thing, of One Thing.

Hi Shawn - Gerardus here: 
There are many explanations of what is, how it began, or how it was put 
together. My favorite one is that there is but One Energy. The NATURE of 
this Energy, and all the qualities that can be discovered and utilized of 
the Nature of this Energy - ranges from Zero to Infinity... 

So, this One Energy has an infinite Spectrum of Differences and Diversity. 
This in and by itself creates Duality for there is always better or worse 
within all virtues or evils. Even if we all would move up ten steps on the 
scale of awareness, there will always be people who are more aware than we 
are, as well as those who would be less aware. There is always a higher and 
a lower, a better and a worse - or what some people call - positive and 
negative, or good and evil...

We as the Essence of Creation *are* the One Energy and its entire Spectrum 
or Nature, while at this time, within the existence as a human being, we are 
experiencing our way up the ladder of awareness in order to become conscious 
of all the different ranges and natures contained within our total Spectrum 
or Nature. We could even call all this - Love at Work - for it is the Love 
of Self that makes us live as seemingly independent beings within, and of, 
the One Energy We Actually Are... 

Truth is Simple - Gerardus 
(We are It)


Date: Tue, 23 Jul 2002 19:31:43 -0700
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: The Real and its Illusion...

The understanding that everything is illusive is not the final one. It is 
an essential stage but only a stage. Ultimately you will understand that 
the form and separateness of a thing are illusory, but the thing-in-itself 
is not. That out of which these forms appear is not different from them, 
hence Reality is one and the same in all things. This is the paradox of 
life and a sharp mind is needed to perceive it. However, to bring beginners 
out of their earthly attachments, we have to teach first the illusoriness 
of the world, and then raise them to a higher level of understanding and 
show that the world is not apart from the Real. That Thou Art unifies 
everything in essence. 

But this final realization cannot be got by stilling the mind, only by 
awakening it into full vigour again after yogic peace has been attained and 
then letting its activity cease of its own accord when thought merges 
voluntarily into insight. When that is done, you know the limitations of 
both yoga and enquiry as successive stages. Whoever realizes this truth 
does not divorce from matter--as most yogis do--but realizes non-difference 
from it. Hence we call this highest path the "yoga of nonduality." But to 
reach it one has to pass through the "yoga of philosophical knowledge." 
Christian Science caught glimpses of the higher truth but Mrs. Eddy got her 
facts and fancies confused together. - - Paul Brunton


Date: Tue, 23 Jul 2002 20:40:30 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [TL] Gerardian Holographic Thinking...
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

To All...
I think our Sun is a Holographic Lens or Gate gathering or reflecting "The 
Infinite Light" and produces the illusion of Holographic-Solar planets, 
including a holographic illusion of our world and everything on it. IOW: we 
are all aspects of a Solar-World-Hologram which is maintained by TIL. This 
Solar-World-Hologram produces the holographic illusions that are the Real in 
the forms we as TIL create it to be, according to our thoughts and beliefs...

Since TIL lives within us, and is us - any changes in the world, and within 
us, are introduced and produced by our thoughts, according to the level of 
TIL We Are. These energies reflect or shine through the Sun - the 
Holographic Gate. It's an instant feedback system that creates and maintains 
the reality or illusion we create, are, and take for real... 

At all times, the holograms we are - are the direct results of our Thoughts 
and Ideas - translated into the day to day reality we experience. All this 
takes place in our Universal Mind - The Self - while our physicality is but 
a temporary reality or illusion in order to give ourselves puzzles of 
enormous proportions and in holographic expressions...

By means of Holography it is easy to "split" the world into three 
holographic worlds, for all that is done - is insert three holographic 
Filters or Gates between TIL and the Sun. Voila - three worlds arise 
according to the Frequency, Light or Awareness needed, to be occupied by 
those of the same levels...

Holographic Thoughts Anyone? - Gerardus


Date: Wed, 24 Jul 2002 11:48:53 -0700
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Creation and its Play...

Creation and its Plays ...
We as Souls or Gods create a certain "Play in Mind" and then we send our 
human-body-representatives into that "dream" and see how it all works out. 
Naturally the dream is real for these human representatives! Changes are 
made by means of inspiring the humans, but in general the plan is followed. 
It means that we as human beings might think that we create our own reality, 
but in actuality, that reality is pretty well determined by the Souls or 
Gods we are who dreamt up the Play in general in the first place... 

Yes, implementation or changes are made by the characters (us) who have 
incarnated to change certain things, but at the same time, there are Souls 
here to enforce the Play as originally planned. This creates the so called 
Good Guy versus Bad Guy scenario. Naturally we all play our role as planned, 
and no Guy or Girl is really bad or good. On top of this, very few see 
through all this. The only thing we truly create are our responses/reactions 
to what we perceive and the attitudes we develop from these perceived 

And yes, all of us also create our own version of the Play entirely, for we 
are independent perceivers/creators of an illusion that we create as a 
reality and accept as real. Which is truly our own self-created reality! 
No perceiver is really right or wrong, for all perceivers are distorted and 
limited in scope according to their awareness level. Naturally, seeing 
through the Play or Plan helps a lot for those who do. Most likely they 
become Observers. The Play is what counts, not what humans think or feel 
about it. Humans opinions are but temporary human views and limited by the 
lack of full awareness...

Thinking I am seeing something - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 01 Aug 2002 12:24:34 -0700
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Observer stuff

Hello Gail, Aryeh and All... 
I have thought about the above a lot as well and up to now I have 
come up with this. Be my Guest - http://www.soulwise.net/25f-top.htm

In the mean time... 
I see Life as a Cosmic Play or Performance that takes ages and ages to go 
through very long cycles that are all different. In the mean time, we as 
human beings are actors who play our part and we all have a certain script. 
Our trouble is, that the script or lines we speak, we regard as our personal 
truth and we often begin to defend or promote it. Next lifetime our script 
or lines and truth are different again! All this means, that the lines we 
accept as our personal truth in a certain lifetime have nothing to do with 
the "Cosmic Truth We Are" before we started this Cosmic Performance or Play...

Almost everything of the cosmic performance has been arranged by those who 
run the Play. These beings are ourselves on a higher level. They preside on 
a higher level than we as human beings find ourselves. The higher beings we 
are have complete control on what will be played or not. This means that we 
as human beings are not here to correct all the other actors or those who do 
not agree with us. Also, there is no need to mention to them - you did not 
play that very well! Our task is to see through the Game or Play! We are 
not here to direct or change it, unless our very Soul steers us to do so. 
This to me means - observe - go within and smile... 

Hope this helps - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 01 Aug 2002 19:08:01 -0700
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: All is Connected...

Hi Lui... 
Truth is an individual thing! 
What one calls "horse feathers" someone else may choose to die for! Who 
knows. One thing for sure, we are all mental beings more so than physical 
beings. Our mind is the universal mind. There is but One Mind in the first 
place - and who is to say that we do not produce these Crop Circles just by 
the power of our own mind or imagination reflected from a subconsciousness 
that is our own. We are not aware of thousands of things that happen in our 
own body for example - let alone that we MUST, or can be, aware of what is 
happening in a holographic illusion we call our earth... 

Walking in the dessert and being thirsty produces mirages of beautiful lakes 
and water. Who is to say that our subconsciousness is not producing some of 
these Crop Circles? This could even happen by means of other beings - who in 
and by themselves - are not really other Beings within a Mind that is One. 
Our very longings or thoughts might drive them to produce what they think we 
need. There are also billions of Fairies and/or little people. Remember 
Findhorn??? All Beings are working towards moving up. Could this mean that 
others are helping many while many help others again in ways we can nor 
possibly understand...

I feel that it really does not matter who produces Crop-Circles as long as 
they have the effect of changing our thinking and possibly our DNA levels. 
As I see it - all things change all things in a universe that has but One 
Mind. Kick a rock and you have changed the universe - think a thought and 
your neighbor thinks differently...

Yes, and then there is the Secret Government thinking that they can stop or 
curtain Human Awareness - what a ridiculous idea. Can say 10,000 people STOP 
the universe from evolving? Absolutely not! If that was so - not one would 
be on this list. Or on any list for that matter...

All is Connected! - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 08 Aug 2002 11:25:13 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [TL] Speed of Light - plus or minus...
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

To All...
I remember reading about scientists measuring the speed of light some years 
ago and all of them came up with a different answer. There were about six 
or seven of them. They were close with their answers but no two of them 
came up with the same answer. All this means, that we really do not know 
what the speed of light is. We only know it approximately. Upon this 
approximation are built the laws of our sciences - kind of shaky I figure...

Also, the reality we live in is an illusion and what we measure in this 
reality and express in physical quantities and/or measurements are 
illusions. IOW: The very spectrum of frequencies we perceive as light 
(colors) do not really exist as we perceive them, for the whole physical 
manifestation is an illusion. We are fooling ourselves...

Most likely the light we see and experience from Stars, Suns or the Moon 
are radiating vibrations (auras) or reflections of the Beings or Energies 
we are connected to in Mind - since the Whole of Creation is a mental 
phenomenon. Again, what we think we see and visit (the Moon) are specific 
vibrations of our own Mind. It IS us in the first place... 

Physical reality is a show and an experience that is equal to a virtual 
experience and one of the most "crafty" we could possibly think of. The 
fact that we live in physical reality and accept it as real is an even a 
greater accomplishment. It's our body and our senses that give it realness! 
That is why I say: Life is a CELEBRATION of the Creator living as the 

At the moment, we as Souls live in what we call human bodies and because of 
all this we assume to be human beings. Naturally our assumption is wrong - 
we are Mental or Spiritual Beings or Energy-Vibrations super-imposing 
ourselves upon a vibration we call our body. The human body - beautiful as 
it is - is not what it looks like at all. What we perceive is a 
"Reflection of our Soul in Matter" - certain aspect of our Soul seem to 
dwell in the physical and when we look at it - it looks like our body...

To repeat here: 
In actuality, we as a human-souls superimpose our soul-vibrations upon the 
vibrations that makes up our bodies and since we do this from birth we 
think we live in these bodies. Not so - for there are no such things! 
There is no objective reality - we only think there is. To see through all 
this helps to understand that we all live in mind only - we live or exist 
in the One Mind We All Are. Nothing is beyond that Mind...

When we as Souls incarnate and go to earth so to speak - all we do is adopt 
mental vibrations that fool us into believing that we move to earth, or 
wherever. In actuality we do not move one physical inch. Our mind is a 
magician a million time better than David Copperfield...

Any comments? - Gerardus


Date: Mon, 02 Sep 2002 10:55:33 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [TL] Soak it up... Read the comments...
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

At 04:28 PM 9/2/2002 +0000, you wrote: 
In TriLite@y..., FI575land@a... wrote: 
In a message dated 8/31/2002 2:25:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time, 
gerardus@o... writes: 
 1) Join the thieves and liars 
 2) Oppose them by whatever works 
 3) Observe the show 
I took the last one! 
This does not mean that an Observer is neutral or does not do 
anything. The very presence of the Observer and the frequency/energy 
held - helps those of nobler thoughts. It is a fact of Life that we 
all attract our own kind of companions. They very well might not 
exist in 3D anymore for some of us... 
 Only one Candle - Gerardus 
Hi Gerardus: 
I could not agree with you more here. There is really no point in 
>fighting forces that are completely natural, when one sees the BIG 
>picture. They exist and they do what they do because that is the role 
>they play in this all encompassing drama. 
>Jojo: What exactly is the BIG picture, according to Fred?

Hello Jojo... 
I think Fred will respond in time - but for now - MY BIG picture is here: 

> > If one wishes to join the thieves and liars, then probably that is 
>their natural place as well. Again, all a part of the grand lesson 
>Jojo: It is a CHOICE, not a wish. Whether it is natural or not.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, it is a choice. But a wish to do something is also a choice - No? 
I too have chosen option #3. While much of what happens here 
bothers me to no end, there is little or nothing that I could 
possibly ever do to change it. And just knowing that makes it much 
easier to take and to accept. All there is is lessons... 

Jojo: I find it sad that people see themselves as being so helpless. 
There are literally millions upon millions of people who are 
observers, and they consciously make the choice to observe whether or 
not they consciously are aware of the bigger picture. Which is 
exactly what the "powers that be" need to keep and further their 
agenda, people thinking they can't change anything and therefore 
don't even try.

Gerardus here: 
I think there is a difference.
1) There are billions of people who are indifferent and maybe even ignorant 
of what really goes on because they are busy with their own affairs, 
maintenance and/or the endeavors of making a living or just feeding 
themselves. They do not really observe much of anything... (This might be 
sad to you but that is the way things are)
2) Then there are people who have figured out what goes on and "see through" 
the game that is being played on this planet in 3D. It is being played FOR 
those who are "not aware" and the very "Lies and Deceit" they go through, 
endure or suffer is supposed to "awaken" them. Some do and some don't...

Let's put it this way - do you see the Dalai Lama showing up in a protest 
line? Is he carrying signs and is he out there protesting? Naturally he is 
not for he knows better. Do you see the Pope and/or his Cardinals show up? 
Do you see God show up? Same thing. The pope and his helpers might be the 
very ones who are causing some of all this in the first place. They control 
this world by their religion. They are NOT neutral. They are basically egos 
holding power...

Now, to some people, group 1 and group 2 are both observers. But as I 
pointed out, they observe from different levels of awareness. The first 
groups "observes" because of a lack of awareness and the second group 
"observes" because they are above and beyond the quibbling of the immature. 

They understand (love) and let them be. The immature are set free to 
experience what they must. The awareness level or frequency of the second 
groups helps to make others become aware as well. It raises the collective 
awareness level! This is why Great Beings like Sai Baba, Babaji and many 
others stay on earth or return quickly, for their very presence raises the 
frequency of all of us...

Simple - Gerardus


Date: Mon, 02 Sep 2002 11:20:01 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [svpvril] No wonder the bible is right on...
Reply-To: svpvril@yahoogroups.com

To all Listers...
The bible and other so called holy books were written in the past by people 
who were inspired. Holy Books freaks say that their books were inspired by 
God. This naturally is nonsense. They were inspired by 4D and/or 5D Density 
Beings. These Beings did not die or disappear! They are the Beings who are 
presently in control of this world and they are in the process of making 
sure that what is said in these holy books is fulfilled as prophecy...

Naturally it is!
These 4D/5D Beings are able to go back and forth in Time, and they are in 
charge of this earth by means of the people they inspire nowadays. These 
people are the Leaders of the world. The Bushes, the Saddams, the Prime 
Ministers, the Kings and Queens of any and all countries, and all those who 
rule this 3D world. Naturally they are "The Illuminati", for they all make 
up the Overseeing Shadow Government of our 3D World. The NWO!

In short here they are: The United Nations, the World Bank and all other 
Banks, the Stock Market, the Religions and the Politicians, etc etc. They 
have the "plan" for this world. The plan is followed as written in the 
bible and other so called holy books. All this makes a beautiful reason for 
religious people to say: Our Holy Book is God's Word because it all has 
come true. Which it has in the past more or less...

Prophecy Fulfilled - Gerardus


Date: Mon, 02 Sep 2002 14:55:47 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] STS-STO
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

At 02:39 PM 9/2/2002 -0400, you wrote: 
floyd here : 

I spent about a week trying to define STS and STO. I finally put it into the 
Acronym Finder---- both STS and STO, and came up with the answer. Then I 
tried practicing STO for that was a worthy goal it seemed to me, but the 
more I gave myself to others , the more I got. I know this isn't earth 
shattering, but it was a lesson well learned by myself. 

Another thing I learned was to realize that I was soul with a body and 
that I did not have a soul. I am soul. I'm using the word soul here 
because it is comfortable for me. As you know there are many names for 
it. Sometimes I really get bogged down with names --- when in the final 
analysis --- it doesn't matter anyway 
I'm through rambling. floyd

Hello Floyd... 
You said you took a week to define STS and STO. 
What did you come up with?
YES! You are a Soul and live in a human body with no legs. 
That my friend - takes Courage... and lots of it!

In the mean time, I'll try to do define STS and STO as well - right now. To 
be STS (Service To Self) is very easy. All you do is take! Then take some 
more. And make sure that you do everything calculated in such a way that you 
are number ONE! Do it ALL for you!! Easy!!

To be STO (Service To Others) is more difficult. As a matter of fact, it is 
extremely difficult. Because of many reasons - and I will give just a few. 
Helping or being of service to others is not always STO. Here is an example: 
People around where I live are all retired and older. Many have next to 
nothing to do and are bored. So what do they do? They go out and volunteer...

They volunteer for Kiwanis, for Big Brothers and Sisters, for the Salvation 
Army and other organizations. Some of these organization collect old 
furniture, old cloths, and other things. All they collect is sold for next 
to nothing and/or given away. When these volunteers come home at night they 
feel quite smug because they have been out helping others all day. Really? 
Ask yourself again - really? Remember why they went out to those 
Organizations in the first place?

They were bored - so, what did they really do? They served themselves by 
volunteering! They feel good about themselves because they were occupied 
with the idea of doing stuff for others BECAUSE they were bored anyway. All 
that is Self Service! Also, it gives them a feeling that they are MORE than 
others because they help others all the time...

Other people, mostly younger are members of the Fire Department (It's all 
volunteers here in Oliver (Small town). Once in a while they is a fire and 
the volunteers go and out and extinguish it and possibly save people or the 
cat. They come home and feel really good, because they "think" they did 
something for others. Did they? Is it possible that they became volunteers 
in order to be smug about themselves? Is it an ego thing to be a volunteer? 
All Service to Self...

Same thing with me - Gerardus. 
Why do I have this List and post on some others? Well, I have nothing 
else to do and it gives me a challenge...
I do it for two reasons: 
1) I do what I want to do and it keeps me busy. 
2) Spread some Light and try to answer questions.

On top of this... 
I cannot be sure whether or not my "help" is really of any help to others. 
Is what I say of everlasting value to them?? Or did I give them my thoughts 
of the moment and confused them? Why do they leave the list? See how 
difficult it is to be STO?

As I understand it at this moment, we on this planet cannot be STO in the 
first place because as long as we "eat" we take and this makes us STS. At 
most, we can begin to think about STO (Candidate) and possibly in 4D we 
might be able to become STO after a training of 500 years...

Let's hear from you - Gerardus


Date: Mon, 02 Sep 2002 16:06:08 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] Soak it up... Read the comments...

Jojo: So are the Dalai Lama and others of his awareness level master 
observers? I don't think so. Dalai Lama DOES things to help shift the 
collective awareness level; writes books, gives lectures, and quietly 
meets with some government leaders. (In a Zen warrior kind of way?) 
But people like that don't use force to bring about any shift. They 
do so by NOT just accepting the status quo, and in their own PEACEFUL 
ways offer people another perspective. But they don't just do nothing!

Gerardus here: 
All the shifting and all the help from whoever is helping only to change 
things in a very minor way. Everybody loves peace - how come we had 
something like 3000 wars in 2000 years? Ignorant people fight! They 
call it an honour to die for their country. This is brainwashed into them. 
They have patriotism. They love the piece of mud they live on...

This planet is controlled by certain forces and there is a plan. This plan 
is put in place in order to give us experiences and makes choices derived 
out of that. One is to see through the plan and quit playing the game of 
participation. How can one ever move up to 4D while one is still engaged 
in emotional issues??

It's like this - 1000 protesters call up 100 police men. 10,000 protesters 
call up 1000 police men. etc etc. There's always an equal force on the other 
side. Either by means of bullets or by pepper sprayers. I do not say do 
nothing and watch IS for everybody. But I do say that when everybody has 
reached the level of awareness I have and Fred has - there would be nobody 
in military uniform. No war machine. The higher our level of awareness the 
higher our level of peace...

Within and without - Gerardus


Date: Mon, 02 Sep 2002 17:05:08 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] Soak it up... Read the comments...
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

Jojo here: 
Well put, Roger. What good does it do to be aware of the game if all 
you're going to do is watch it, thereby not having much effect on 
that game in any way?

Hi Jojo - Gerardus here: 
You are reasoning here strictly from a 3D point of view. Consciousness or 
awareness does not function on that level only! Let's keep this awareness to 
the mind of humanity for now or the collective human mind or awareness. This 
means to me that the more observers there are, the shorter the war or fight. 
Because the level of Awareness of the Observer raises the level of all other 
fighting-awarenesses a tiny bit. If all people were an observer with the 
level of awareness I speak from - there would be no war at all...

Wars or misery is created by those who live off it! Some are 3D human 
beings and others are 4D 5D Beings. They live off emotional energies. 4D 
and 5D Beings inspire (read possess) human beings from level we cannot see. 

If that level of negativity was not there, the world would be in peace 
continually. These Beings are a natural aspect of Life (of the One Mind) 
and they have influences over the 3D world. They rule it at this moment and 
they have for a long time. They rule in such a way that it is to their own 
benefit only. They steal our energies, they steak our cattle (mutilations) 
and possibly they steal our children. They keep us like we keep chickens...

In the mean time, we as human Souls have come here to EXPERIENCE the human 
condition. We come here for the Experience! We come here for the 
experience only!! Not to improve the Place!! These experiences include 
War, times of Peace, times of hunger, times of plenty. All kinds of lives 
and all kinds of experiences. So some of us come to fight with weapons, 
others with words and then there are a few who say - I have seen what all 
this means and I am ready to Observe all this from the level of 
Understanding I am at now. This does not make them better or worse than any 
other human being - only different...

So, when some human beings see through all this, they put down their 
weapons, they put down their interests or commitment to either side. They 
know that in wars there are only losers! No one wins but the beings who 
instilled or inspire war or fights by means of possessing the leaders of the 
people on both side...

Certain human beings give/loan money to both side so that they can buy their 
weapons. Where do you think Hitler got his money from? The country was 
broke when he appeared. Hitler got his money from the USA Banks or World 
Bank. Grandfather of GWBush was instrumental in this! There is but one 
wallet on earth and it is theirs. It makes us live, it makes us starve...

Observing is not doing nothing "is" what you said I think in some other 
post. I agree! It is supplying "understanding" to others via the collective 
mind of humanity by means of osmosis or mutual induction or telepathy in a 
very subtle way...

It is not easy to be an observer - Gerardus


Date: Mon, 02 Sep 2002 18:44:42 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] Re: No wonder the bible is right on...

Jojo here: 
Hehehe, I think some of those plans are being waylayed by people that 
know those prophecies do not HAVE to come true.

Hi Jojo - Gerardus here: 
Yes, exactly! That is my point. 
Changes are made due to the interference of other forces. This is fine! 
There is no good or bad anyway and as long as we are having experiences that 
teach us that we create our own reality - that is the clue. That is what we 
are here for and are having these experiences for...

What do we put in front of us? What do we visualize? A certain reality - 
self created. This means if you align with a certain side or force - that's 
what you put in front of you or create. Why do this? Why not create 
something beyond the 3D scenario? Mind has many dimensions or scenarios. 
The higher one goes, the more the enjoyment... 

Jojo here: 
Each day that the 
powers that be try to make them come true, the more people are 
saying, "NO! That is not how it has to be on this planet!" And some 
of those people are doing things differently, seeking out and 
implementing solutions to create a whole different paradigm.

Gerardus here: 
Indeed! So, why not do something completely different and totally beyond 
this 3D reality! It means withdrawal from what is occupying our mind. The 
sandbox stuff! This planet is a certain classroom somewhere in the One 
Mind, in which we all eventually learn that we are the Creator. We do not 
have to improve the school we are in now! It is fine the way it is and has 
been for ages and ages. 

There is nothing to fix! So, why fool around in a 
mud-pie-scenario fighting for the next bucket, or piece of mud, when you can 
float in delight creating castles of energy that are brilliant and last 
forever? Beats me. Up up up and away...
Castle Owner - Gerardus

I think it's attachment that keeps us thinking that we need to improve what 
we have got. What for? Pitch the attachment and one is free!


Date: Fri, 06 Sep 2002 16:32:43 -0700
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Physical Reality...

Physical reality (that what we see in the world) is actually a vibration 
mass of energy with a specific frequency and pattern - some call this 
pattern a holographic one. It's like a swirling "colored mist" within which 
we only see what's happening now...

The body we live in "translates" this vibrating mass into what we experience 
or see. ONLY because we live in this one particular body are we able to 
make sense of what's out there. What we see though, is NOT out there!! 
We all create our own reality when we look at this vibrating mass of energy. 

This is why different people see different things and or happenings. There 
is a general collective agreement between contemporaries however - but not a 
precise one. Each different time and space has its own frequency and 
specific pattern - meanwhile ALL vibrations are existing at ALL times. 
Traveling back and forwards in Time is really a misnomer for one does not 
have to travel anywhere. It is all RIGHT here! All one needs to do is 
changes states of mind / or filters...


Date: Tue, 17 Sep 2002 16:35:13 -0700
To: svpvril@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [svpvril] Eureka - One Nuetral Energy...
Reply-To: svpvril@yahoogroups.com

At 03:47 PM 9/17/2002 -0700, you wrote:
Eureka! Gerardus! Nuetral Energy! The ONE! molding portions of itself 
as it were into concepts! That is the only reality! Concepts.... Revolving 
around the Central Mind! Every 
Thought a real portion of the ONE!
Love, Light, and Healing, John McGrath

Yes, thank you John. 
I see all things as aspects of the One Energy. I have no concept of 
revolving around the Central Mind however. Is there a central in a no-space 
mind? I am not sure but I do not think so. The whole thing is so beyond 
thought that I cannot think of it. The One Mind's manifestations are 
thoughts or concepts - but the Source I can only see or fathom as the 
Enabler of Thought. I do not think it thinks about things itself. It just IS 
or does them! It is the miracle we cannot touch. It's nature is to cycle 
from "next to nothingness" to "The One Totality". It evolves of self-happens 
again and again...

I might have written some of all that in the following. Not sure whether or 
not I showed this article here before or not. In any case here it is: 

I feel that each and everyone of us, begins a Journey in Time as the tiniest 
wavicle we can think of, and then grow in size, importance, awareness and 
greatness, to eventually join "that" what we have created in our own 
individual mind - we become our Self so to speak! This Self is nothing less 
but the All Inclusive One Energy We Always were in the first place. We had 
left this Oneness temporarily in order to have new experiences - which 
enrich the Totality we All Are. In order to experience and collect this 
"enrichment" we have travel companions (equals) to make all this possible...

Mind thinking - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 19 Sep 2002 10:50:20 -0700
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: The world is our Mirror...

Gerardus here: 
If you want Peace in the world - be Peaceful. 
The world in which we live in is a reflection of our own Inner State of 
Being. What we are within we project without! We cannot project our state 
of mind to create the world or environment for others. All things begin 
within - for all of us!

And yes, I would also interfere when I see rape, murder, sabotage cities or 
take advantage of people if this would happen in my front lawn. It does not 
- because my environment reflects my state of mind. That's what I have 
created for myself and/or have attracted for myself...

However, if I begin to look what's going on in the World of Politics (the 
world of lies) and other places, I am sure that I will see rape, murder, the 
sabotaging of cities and/or people taking advantage of other people. As 
soon as I see this as wrong or something that should be different - I have 
made a judgment! And when I oppose that and/or interfere with that - I have 
joined the rapists, murderers and the warmongers. Like attracts like...

Also, as soon as I judge that this is right and this is wrong - I project my 
judgment upon the world. If I judge something as wrong - the world out 
there will reflect what I see as wrong. We create the world with our mind in 
our mind - we are our world and our world is us.

The world is our mirror! If we see something that some call "wrong" in the 
world - there is something "wrong" within us. The world reflects what's 
wrong within ourselves. IOW: we figure that things should be different. It 
means, we have not accepted what is! If we protest or attack the world out 
there - we attack the world within us. There is only mind and the 
illusionary world out there is a world that exist in our own mind. This mind 
of ours could be polluted with thoughts that tell us that something needs to 
be done. It's a judgment that proves that we have not accepted what is! We 
figure that something needs to be fixed...

Now, the above is what I feel to be so! It also means that whatever others 
do is fine with me for I accept the way others are, behave and act or react. 
We could even say that there are many world out there. There need to be - 
for all of us come to experience different things and sceneries...
I trust the Universe I live in and am - Gerardus 
(Souls leave no footprints)


Date: Mon, 23 Sep 2002 10:58:16 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] free will
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

At 10:53 AM 9/23/2002 +0200, you wrote: 

Gerard here: 
As I read many emails in which is talked about "free will" I would like to 
ask Gerardus where he dealt with this subject in his writings. 
Doing astrology and having studied the subject of "free will" for many 
years I came to the conclusion that "free will" is very limited in our relative life, 
so I would like to read more about your vision regarding this subject. 
Regards gerard

Gerardus here: 
A vision it is, but just regard it as a wild imagination for now. In any 
case, here it is: I cannot say for sure that I have written a specific essay 
on Free Will. I might have mentioned free will here and there, as well as in 
some of my previous posts. 

Here are my thoughts on it for now:
As a human being our free will is limited. We cannot grow ten inches over 
night for example or just to reach something on a higher shelf. Might come 
in handy to do my roof for example. There is one thing that is absolutely 
free however and that is the attitude we adopt in all situations. That is a 
LOT of freedom!! As we know this varies quite a bit among people. I feel 
that the more knowledgeable we become the "easier" we go through life. 

I think this has to do with the knowing that in the end all is well - whatever 
we do. In the mean time, by means of our different lifetimes - we can just 
about be anybody we might want to be. These choices however are made from 
our Soul Level. As human beings we are instruments of our Soul - Servants if 
you like...

As a Soul Being however, we have a lot more freedom and this is expressed in 
the instruments (humans) we have as our representatives existing in other 
realities than we as a Soul find ourselves (Saying this does not mean that 
there is more than one local or Mind). Instruments like human beings can go 
where we as Souls cannot go and therefore we have the free will to explore 
these regions and express energies of ourselves into other realities by 
means of these instruments, be they physical or otherwise. Souldom them 
has more freedom than humanness. Souldom is about learning and or exploring 
our Creation...

The further we come along in our creative journey through our Creation, the 
more we will be able to express our free will and do more and more things to 
fulfill our curiosity and accepted functions as a Soul Being, which might be 
the fulfilling of certain commitments we have made with other SoulBeings or 
Entities. This might include creating specific kinds of planets and or 
situations where we can explore and express our creativity...

From there on in we come into the creating of Solar Systems and or Galaxies 
and whatever else is necessary and desirable in order to expand upon 
Creation as a Whole...

In the mean time, as a Soul Being we might accept certain contracts for 
example and they could be the incarnation of ourselves unto certain planets 
in order to help the beings living there. These incarnations are not 
necessarily the Krishnas and the Buddhas, but they could be the Einsteins 
and other great scientists and or discoverers we know from the past. They 
come when the population (race) is ready to receive them, or needs to be 
changed into a specific direction or thinking. Our world is guided and 
controlled from higher densities or dimensions. This kind of means that we 
as human beings just live here and gather knowledge/wisdom for our Soul 
Being. In the end we are this Soul or Spiritual Being...

I see total freedom by means of the positions we hold in the universal game 
we play as Spiritual Beings. These Beings, by the way, I see as specific 
aspects of the Creator, who in and by itself never appears but is present as 
the Inner Creativity within the Spiritual Beings that "move" the universe. 
Total freedom is being able to help others anytime, any space, any planet, 
and galaxy, any universe. No doubt there must be billions. All others are 
ourselves in different form...

Never unemployed - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 28 Sep 2002 15:16:36 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] Life is Enormously Complex
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

At 12:03 PM 9/28/2002 -0600, you wrote: 

On Friday, 9/27/02, I got this note from TriLite@yahoogroups.com: 
Yes, the reptilians, the greys, the blonds, the mantis beings, and all those 
who make up our companions and/or our so called adversaries are needed in 
order to make a universe. It is a Game with endless changes and varieties 
and somehow all of us fit in order to provide the opportunity to slowly 
climb back to our highest level of awareness. Lately I have come to the 
conclusion also, that there really is nothing "bad" out there. All Beings 
function according to their orientation. This might not be liked very much 
when beings are on the receiving end. Like the chickens or lettuce are for 
us for example. Also if there is nothing "bad" out there - there also is 
nothing "good". Hard to get used to that somehow. I figure it is all as it 
should be and good in order to experience. God saw that it was Good! 
Life is enormously complex - Gerardus 
(End Quote)

Hi Gerardus - Roger here: 
Thank you for that nice articulation of universal life. It seems that way 
to me as well. I believe we are surrounded by "alien" life of all kinds - 
some of it looks like the rest of us it seems. As you say, life is 
enormously complex, and it is also infinitely various and infinitely 
changeable, mutating in all sorts of ways beyond my ken or any hope of 
total comprehension. 
As I see it, the concepts of "good" and "bad" or "evil" are part of the 
duality of our existence. What we like, or believe we should like, or 
think that "God" likes or whatever, we call "good." But then as soon as one 
posits the term "good" it is not even understandable unless there is a 
corresponding "bad." So it goes.

Hello Roger - Gerardus here: 
I have not seen any posts from you lately. I wondered where you were. And 
Voila - here you are! 

As I mentioned above -(Lately I have come to the conclusion also, that 
there really is nothing "bad" out there)- if we could just forget about 
"good" and "bad" altogether, we would in essence have overcome duality. I 
am not sure whether or not that is the "all" of it, but I figure that the 
worst portion of it would have disappeared. It would mean that we see all 
other beings as our equals and also as necessary and essential aspects of 
creation (they become us so to speak). This might even help to lose our 
fear of those we do not know or have never met. Like the Reptilians for 
example. What do you think about that?? 

Roger here: 
Because our language is based in describing those phenomena bonded by time 
and space (the continuum) we have a really difficult time comprehending, 
let alone discussing, those things which are not bound by the space-time 

Gerardus here: 
Yes, I agree that by discussing things beyond time, the vernacular might 
have to be revised a bit here and there (including our minds nomdoubt). I 
compare it to standing in a room with a Million Monitors which each in turn 
display a different reality. Now, if I wanted to see or experience a 
certain reality - I would look at a certain monitor and that "scene" would 
automatically take over my entire being. In other words I would be there! 

Once I have seen or experienced enough - I wish myself back into the 
Million Monitor room again and try something else. Kind of works like - 
what do you want to imagine or think about? 

Roger here: 
Our Spirit may be capable of understanding that which is beyond space and 
time, but our material self cannot really comprehend it in reality, 
although we do have very fertile imagination and fantasy lives. Sometimes 
we catch a glimmer of that which in which all things participate, but it is 
only a partial view. The "Bagavad Gita" and the Judeo Christian Bible 
point out that if we did indeed see the totality of reality, we would be so 
overwhelmed as to not be able to maintain our human form.

Gerardus here: 
Yeah, I agree, one scene at the time is hard enough sometimes. Especially 
when you just spilled your wine all over someone's dress. Even doing it 
over a neutral carpet is bad enough... 

Roger here: 
Therefore we are 
left with the wisdom of the pioneers who have said only one thing is 
necessary, "to love." As many have noted, we need a certain amount of 
knowledge to love, but knowledge is a function of being. In other words, 
the thing known is in the knower according to the mode of the knower, so 
therefore we do have that limitation and are therefore left with faith 
where knowledge fails.

Gerardus here: 
Yeah, I like to call that kind of faith "trust". Faith to me is a bit iffy. 

Roger here: 
But love has no limitations, transcends time and space, defies definition 
but elicits participation and is therefore the key to being and the 
motivation of all comprehensive, holistic, creative doing.

Love to me is Understanding. This kinds of fits in with he abolishment of 
"good" and "evil" come to think of it. I feel that going beyond "duality" 
is the thing to do. By means of Love/Understanding this will we possible...
Need to work on that some more - Gerardus


Date: Wed, 02 Oct 2002 12:31:16 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [TL] Confession time...
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

Hello TriLiters...
The other day Ellen and I had a discussion. 
Yes, it happens often and I do not always win either...

Now, to the point: during this discussion I noticed that I am always 
foremost on Ellen's mind. IOW: she will always think/feel first what I will 
think about certain things and/or how I will be affected by what she does.

So, I said to her: 
From what you say I conclude that - I am foremost on your mind! 
Yes!  She said, you are - always have been...

Anyway, then I said, well, I am sorry to say that you are not foremost on my 
mind. You are third so to speak.

1) Foremost are my Pages, TriLite and the Cookie List - my "work" so to speak. 
2) Then it is myself. 
3) Then you. 
4) Then the children and the rest of the world...

I cannot say what the percentages are precisely but they might be 50/24/24/2 
or so. Ellen accepted what I said with great composure and coolness and then 
she said: I already knew what you just told me. I have read your Numerology 
Charts and anything else that pertains to you. Your news is no news to me...

Anyhow, I thought that "what is foremost on your mind" would be a good 
question to ask on TriLite and discuss...

So here it is: 
What is foremost on your mind?

Feel free to be silent - Gerardus


Date: Tue, 08 Oct 2002 10:18:07 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [TL] What would a wise man do?

Peace to All...

Consider this: 
The story goes that a man called Jesus The Christ was crucified and died. 

Now read this! 
The same story is playing itself out at this very minute! 
This time however, it is not a person who is nailed to the cross but it is 
the entire world! The crucifiers are GWBush, his Cabal and all those above 
it and below it... 

What is happening in the world today is exactly the same as what happened in 
the story about Jesus. What did this Jesus do? Did he protest? Did he 
speak in anger? Did he swing his arms around and shouted you guys are crazy? 
The story goes that he was slaughtered like a lamb...

Why didn't Jesus do something? He did not do anything because he was a wise 
man! A wise man has no attachment to his body and he has no attachment to 
the world. IOW: he just lets things takes place for he knows that one cannot 
reason with insanity and/or possessed beings. He accepts his lot so to speak 
and is at Peace...

I do not believe in the story about Jesus. I feel that the story is a 
symbolic one. All these stories and happenings of the past are symbolic 
events...   We must learn from it today - Gerardus.


Gerardus here: 
What Jesus said or did not say we cannot really know for sure. It might have 
been Krishna or some other Great One who said these words before him. Or even 
someone so far removed from human history that it becomes useless to debate 
or discuss. Yet, there seems to be something deeply true about these words 
that linger in the human psyche and spurs us on to ponder the thoughts 
behind these concepts. I feel that somehow we have to find our own words and 
make them true to ourselves based upon our experiences. Besides all this, I 
feel that "We Are The Truth" and our words are but the descriptions of our 
experiences in order to share what we think we know...

A list is basically a world on its own - it also determines its own reality 
and/or discussions. In my experience it is for the best of all to let it 
take it's own course - all things will pass. The more a listowner 
interferes, the more narrow the discussions become. In many cases the 
influence of the listowner's reality is inhibiting to the members in the 
first place. Somehow members like to stay within the invisible lines never spoken 
of. I am not convinced that this is the way it ought to be - but it usually 

TriLite is meant for authentic individuals (or non-followers) and it needs 
its distractions and debates in order to be what it is - a place to feel 
free to speak one's heart and mind about the future possibilities to move up 
to other densities or realities that have taken shape in the minds of those 
who ponder about the infinity of moving on and up into the regions of our 
Imagination or the Mind of God The Infinite - the One We Are, Own and 

I see no followers but I see equals - Gerardus


Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 10:37:57 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [TL] Do you all agree?

To All TriLite Listers...
What is God? God is what we Are. 
What is Life? Life is what we Are. 
What is Love? Love is what we Are. 
What is Truth? Truth is what we Are. 
What is Peace? Peace is what we Are.  

All of the above, and more, is what we are in different ratios. None of the 
above can be given or send to others. We cannot give them aspects of the 
qualities we are! All this means, that we can do nothing for others except 
give them the opportunities to become more and more aware by means of their 
experiences. This, and this only, will give them more awareness...

If it was possible to give or send others Love, or Truth, or Peace, and if 
they could accept it - we would deny them the opportunity to have their 
experiences. This would be interference of an STS orientation...

Do you all agree? - Gerardus 


Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 13:20:38 -0700
To: Gerardus 
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] Do you all agree?

At 11:36 AM 10/11/2002 -0700, you wrote: 
 ----- Original Message ----- 
 From: Gerardus 
 To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com 
 Sent: Friday, October 11, 2002 10:37 AM 
 Subject: [TL] Do you all agree? 
To All Listers... 
 What is God? God is what we Are. 
 What is Life? Life is what we Are. 
 What is Love? Love is what we Are. 
 What is Truth? Truth is what we Are. 
 What is Peace? Peace is what we Are. 
 All of the above, and more, is what we are in different ratios. None of 
the above can be given or send to others. We cannot give them aspects of the 
qualities we are! All this means, that we can do nothing for others except 
 give them the opportunities to become more and more aware by means of 
their  experiences. This, and this only, will give them more awareness... 

If it was possible to give or send others Love, or Truth, or Peace, and if 
they could accept it - we would deny them the opportunity to have their 
experiences. This would be interference of an STS orientation... 

Do you all agree? - Gerardus 
(God saw that it was Good)

Hello Gerardus - Stefan here: 
While indeed you are wise in equating who we are to the infinite god 
force, I feel you may be missing some fundamental truths in your analysis 
of love. 

Gerardus here: 
First of all I would like to say, that I am not unwilling to help others or 
send them Love or Healing Energy. So that being established I say this: 
although I am willing to do so, I am not sure at all that that is the right 
thing to do when I am not asked to do so. We spoke of this before and I 
called it - mowing somebody else's Front Lawn without being asked to do so. 
Might not sit too well...

what you say above Stefan might be so, there indeed might be something 
missing in my philosophy. That is why it is good to discuss this on TL. In 
general, there are hundreds of Lists with thousands of members that say the 
same thing you do. This does not make it right! So, therefore I brought 
this up on TL. It is difficult to discuss this on other lists, because right 
away their dander sticks up. They see my post as being angry at the world 
for example. Funny thing is - I am not angry for I have accepted what is. 

They see their own anger reflected in my posts. Their inner create their 
outer reality! Also, I do not want to change others or the world to what I 
think they or it should be. So, I do not play Energy-Exchanges with others 
in order to change these others or the world. Now, I will try to go through 
this point by point...

Stefan here: 
Even as we are the god force and we can not give our god force to 
some else who is also god force, we can send others energy. 

Gerardus here: 
I see a contradiction in what you say. You say we cannot give them the god 
force - but we can send them energy. Aren't those two the same thing?? Do 
not they have as much, and the same energy as we have? An unlimited amount 
so to speak?

The God Force IS Energy - Neutral Energy - and we are it, or are of it. We, 
or anyone, can mold this energy into whatever form we want or need. Healing 
and Loving Thoughts for example and/or Harness and Hate. The point here is, 
that others have the same kind of energy and make or create something from 
that energy that suits them. Is whatever they do - my business??
Can we make a judgment and say - what you are doing with your God-Energy is 
not the right thing! Change it please, and or if not, I will send you a big 
basket of my loving energy to change your mind. IOW: we pretend to know that 
others need to change - this means judgment to me. This is against their 
free will and an STS act on my part - that's the way I see this. 

Stefan here: 
We as conscious 
god force live in an ocean of energy that is also god force but lends 
itself to our wills. 

Gerardus here: 
Agreed! It also lends itself to the will of others. 
Which is basically none of my business...

Stefan here: 
Of course you know that energy lends itself to the 
imagination of the perceiver. It is ours to create with as we please. 

Gerardus here: 
Yes, agreed! But that does not give me the right to change what others do. 
It might please me - but that also does not make it right. One needs to do 
what's proper in a cosmic sense - not just what pleases us because we think 
this ought to be different... 

Stefan here: 
We can use it to help others in infinite ways if we please, and there doesn't 
have to be interference with free will. 

Gerardus here: 
To help others, we need to determine first of all that they need our help. 
That is a judgment! Like: look at this poor bloke - he needs my Energy. If 
others do not ask us - whatever we send them or give them is a change in 
their lifestyle or beingness because we desire that he should be helped. 
It's changing others and changing the world. When we are asked - it's a 
different case altogether... 
Stefan here: 
Love doesn't interfere. 

Gerardus here: 
Love does not interfere. Hmmm? 
If it does not interfere and change the other - we have not given them 
anything! Change IS caused by our interference. All this comes down to, 
that we think we do "good" by sending others Love or Healing Thoughts or 
whatever. Do WE run the universe or the world? I figure that we only have 
the right to change ourselves. Not others... 

Stefan here: 
Does the 
sun interfere with a flower by giving it light.

Gerardus here: 
The seed or bulb is a creation of the Light or Sun and the 
two are created in such a way that the one needs to other. That's a given! 
Flowers do not have a conscious awareness to make a choice... 

Stefan here: 
I believe love energy is 
the most powerful force in the universe. It seems to move a bit slow though.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, Love is Powerful - we are this Love and this Power. That's why we have 
to be very careful not to "apply" or "give" it to others because WE think 
they need it. WE do not run this world - we are here to learn to play our 
part the proper way. Which is not to behave like Do-Gooders and wield this 
power around as if we know where it is needed most and how much...

I do not think it proper to change the realities of others. We all create 
our own realities in order to learn from them. Changing the reality of 
others is denying them to have their lessons and learn by means of the 
experiences they have created...

There are multi angles here - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 12 Oct 2002 14:49:01 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [TL] Second Issue - Do you all agree?
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

To All Listers...
What is God? God is what we Are. 
What is Life? Life is what we Are. 
What is Love? Love is what we Are. 
What is Truth? Truth is what we Are. 
What is Peace? Peace is what we Are.
All of the above, and more, is what we are in different ratios. None of the 
above can be given or send to others. We cannot give them aspects of the 
qualities we are! All this means, that we can do nothing for others except 
give them the opportunities to become more and more aware by means of their 
experiences. This, and this only, will give them more awareness...
If it was possible to give or send others Love, or Truth, or Peace, and if 
they could accept it - we would deny them the opportunity to have their 
experiences. This would be interference of an STS orientation...
Do you all agree? - Gerardus 
(God saw that it was Good)

Follow up: 
Summation of Stefan's response: 
We can use love/energy to help others in infinite ways if we please, and 
there doesn't have to be interference with free will. 
John E. responded: 
So if we open Ourselves up to Love  Loving Ourselves, we in turn 
are giving Love to Humanity and to all those we encounter  
We are Them. 
Alexander responded: 
The trouble with people is that they're busy fixing things they don't 
even understand. We're always fixing things, aren't we? It never strikes 
us that things don't need to be fixed. They really don't. This is a 
great illumination. They need to be understood. If you understood them, 
they'd change. ( Anthony De Mello, SJ ) 
Right on! (Alexander)
Peg D. responded: 
I agree with what Alexander/Stefan? here and the quote from Anthony 
De Mello by Alexander. I learned much from reading De Mello and this 
post has inspired me to get out those books again  
Olga here: 
And also trying to be very controlling :)) 
It is not possible to wave a magic wand and *enlighten* any one else ... it 
is for each of us to slowly step by step evolve and *see* the truth of our 
being through our own experiences ......
Knowledge by itself is worthless ... it is the Experience of that knowledge 
that sets us on the road of enlightenment ......

Fred here: 
I agree with your conclusion. It is through these STS experiences that we, as 
Terran humans in 3rd density, learn from our experiences in this density. It 
is also how and where we learn to make the choices for the upcoming journey. 
Any sort of interference in that process would interfere with our learning 
and our free will. Excellent points you have made here..
Namaste, Fred

Mahrouk here: 
Geeeeeee, you don't mean that, do you? How in God's name :) would you know 
what their experiences were supposed to be? I feel, if they accept love and 
peace then that is what they were supposed to experience. To think you can 
deny or interfere with life as it IS, is kind of a contradiction.
From a post not directly related to the above but close enough to include.
John G. here: 
I think that we define ourselves -- as you have done when 
describing your function as ListOwner / Facilitator. When we know who & what 
we are we act accordingly. This leaves a LOT of room for hypocrites and 
ignoramuses. If / when one is happy with themselves and their produce, 
the question of "is it wise to do so...?" Seems, to me, to be moot. When 
one assumes (believes?) that the world is in perfect balance / order, one 
should be able to express as their individuality knowing that there is likely 
to be some yang to their yin -- (... and, take comfort in the knowledge that: 
what goes around, comes around.)
Gerardus here: 
Did I forget anyone? 

Second Issue! 
Gerardus here: 
We all know that human minds can and do interfere with plants and flowers. 
We are able to send them energies or thoughts and they grow better, higher 
or more colorful. It's assumed here however that they have the proper soil 
and water...
Now, if we are able to interfere with the growth of plants/flowers is this 
what we should do or should not do? What gives us humans the right to 
change things with our thoughts.
Taken this a bit further, do we have the right to interfere with the thought 
of our children? Like sending them loving thought, healing energies etc etc...
Further yet do we have the right to interfere with other people in general, 
including our leaders and or send them thoughts of Love, Peace and any other 
energies that might change the course of mankind. 
Are not all the above points occurrences whereby we try to change the world 
of mankind to what we think it should be? If we do this is an STS 
orientation (we change things to what we think things should be!)
Or should we just observe the show and not try to mind control others?
Does it really make any difference what we do 
since there is not good and/or bad anyway?
All this come basically down to:
Do we have the right to change others? 
Do we only have the right to change ourselves?

Conclusion Two:  
I feel that we only have the right to change ourselves 
and can only help others when we are asked to do so! 
All in all, thinking this over again, it does not make 
any difference what we do. But we need to come to some 
conclusion and live with it to enjoy Peace within...

I know that you have all given your opinions but some opinions might have 
changed by contemplation of the responses received from others...
So add something to this if you like! - Gerardus


Date: Sun, 13 Oct 2002 19:03:28 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [TL] Third Issue - Do you all agree?
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

Subject: Do you all agree?
Conclusion Three: 

Gerardus here:
Re: "Service To Self" (STS) 
     "Service To Others" (STO) 
     "Service To All" (STA)

Here are my latest thoughts on the STS, STO or STA orientations: 
I find it wise to practise the STO orientation before we enter into the next 
higher density or vibration. In the mean time, what others do is not of my 
I feel that we have the choice and the ability to change ourselves. Changing 
ourselves has no STS or STO orientation. Changing ourselves is a natural 
evolutionary process and it has a "Service to All" (STA) orientation - we 
help others by changing ourselves. Our vibrations radiate allover the planet. 
We also have the choice to help others when we are asked to do so. This last 
act would be an act with an STO orientation. We could call this the Observers 
Position with the readiness to help others when called upon...
We are able to change others by sending them energies via the mental 
spectrum without being asked and these energies could be of a positive or 
negative vibration. This would be an act with a STS orientation. In general, 
we as human beings on earth live on an STS oriented planet...
We may choose sending out both negative or positive energies, without being 
asked, but we need to understand that what "goes-out" may return ten fold. 
So, it is not wise to send out negative vibrations. Both acts do have an STS 
Sending out mental energies of any kind is a form of mind control. When we 
send out positive or negative energies without being asked, these acts are 
both of an STS orientation and affect humanity and the planet...

There comes a time in our life that we have very strong suspicions that we 
have seen it all. It means that we can neither help ourselves nor others, 
unless we are asked. We find that "nothing needs to be fixed". (De Mellow)
At that point, we are bumping into the "Futility of Limitation Barrier" of 
this plane and it is time to move on. In the progression of consciousness 
moving on means the experience of a completely new environment in order to 
learn our next lesson. All this does not mean that "I as Gerardus the Body" 
have learned it all - but it could mean that all my Soul-Aspects have learned 
their lessons and we as a Whole Soul need to move on and up. I feel that 
many others on TriLite have reached the same position. What do you think/feel 
about this and do you have any disagreements with the above? 

Is there anything else to add? - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 26 Oct 2002 12:20:06 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [TL] The Soul 3D-Placements...

At 02:19 PM 10/26/2002 -0400, you wrote: 
JE wrote: 
hey, who knows 
I may have already been a mother in a past life...maybe many 

floyd here: It is my understanding that you alternate gender from 
lifetime to lifetime, but with few exception. I would like to mention 
here that what Gerardus spoke about choosing one's parents is very true, 
but seems to be little known. Peace to all. >>>>> floyd >>>>>

Hi Floyd... 
Right, people know next to nothing about the "hows" and "whys" of human 
life. All this needs to become an aspect of our education as a child. It 
teaches acceptance of others...We might incarnate among the same say 100 people we have been with before, 
as Fathers, Mothers, Daughters and Sons. Throw in an odd Aunty and Uncle 
here or there. Then, since we have learned ALL from that group of Souls, we 
might wander into a completely new and strange land by ourselves and have 
some rounds there. Learn all we can there and change again. All this takes 
place according to the "feeling-energy" level we have reached. Life is a 
Feeling looking for a place to express itself...

Also, out of habit or choice, me might have had too many incarnations are 
Males or Females in a row and our energies become too masculine or too 
feminine. When we change then, in order to break this cycle, we might turn 
out to become a fairly feminine soul in a male body, or we might be a too 
masculine soul in a female body so to speak. All this gives us additional 
changes to experience life from different angles and this brings with it 
specific experiences...

Also, too many female and or male incarnation might foster tendencies to 
become a "gay" or a "lesbian" expression once we changeover. This is also a 
learning for the soul naturally. I have found that most Gays and Lesbians 
are older souls. It is a difficult adjustment for a younger or inexperienced 
soul. Also, the parent souls and their expressions might have affect on the 
tendencies of some souls to become human beings as Gays or Lesbians. And 
yes, when we are "awake" all this could be done by choice. Before we are 
conscious enough to make choices, our Counselors will "place" us. We are 
all adopted Souls...

All in all every experience counts toward attaining wisdom - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 26 Oct 2002 19:41:24 -0700
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [TL] What is Love?

At 01:32 PM 10/26/2002 -0400, you wrote: 
(Gerardus)So what is Love? >>> 
Chris here: 
On a universal level, I think love is simply what I would call "positive 
polarity", or what is known as Service-To-Others (as opposed to 
Service-To-Self). I think true love, in its unhindered form, is all 
encompassing. It is the benevolent aspect of the duality within all of us. 
(Love of nature, love of people, love of life...)

Hello Chris... 
For now, I agree with your citation/summation on Love. Yet, I cannot speak 
completely from the heart, because I feel that there are too many unknowns 
to me and therefore there are things I still need to learn. Especially 
about Love and Life to directly agree on the description/definition of 
these characteristics by others, however beautifully they sound...

As of now, I feel that Life or the Universe is Love expressed. 
Period! Since it also expresses itself in STS - the Love of Self is also 
Love. Could it be that those STSers are in the same boat I am - not 
completely aware of the extent of Love and have chosen an orientation that 
has been marked upon their soulbeing as an involuntary tendency, by those 
who create universes, galaxies and planets and therefore assign tendencies 
to certain beings in order to create the duality necessary to play the game 
as if it was real - so that all may learn and eventually unite as One in 

Seeing through it is the clue - Gerardus 
(Love is Love is Love in any Currency)

Date: Sun, 27 Oct 2002 16:12:40 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Geezer's Gobbledegook

At 03:31 PM 10/27/2002 -0500, you wrote: 
floyd here: Gerardus, this is so enlightening for me. I had never 
thought to compare a baby with a young soul before. But it stands to 
reason that this would be so. When I read your post, chill bumps ran all 
over me. This is what hapens when one of my guides are near or showing 
me a different way of doing something. Thanks for sharing your knowledge 
with me. Things are getting better - but that isn't to say that we are 
in for some bad times -  soon. I hate the word -- bad or good, because 
that doesn't really convey what I want to say. floyd

Hello Floyd - Gerardus here: 
Yeah, I do not like good and bad either. All I like is awesome and smashing! 
In a pinch I use hot and cool. Bronckles counts for both of them! Then to 
continue this rambler - you are welcome to my words of knowledge. But you 
know - it is not really my knowledge. I got it from others, who also got it 
somewhere else. Come to think of it - there might be no original knowledge! 

It's all borrowed from others and many people get it from blokes they can't 
even see. Some of this knowledge never wears out either. It's older than the 
earth. And also, what these others tell us, was the same thing we told them 
the last time around. Re-incarnation works that way. It works itself 
backwards to the original source maybe...

Needless to say that no one knows who or where that source is, because they 
keep looking for it. Where is my source? .. Where is my beginning? .. Where 
do I come from and why? My puzzle is, how can they find it if they do not 
know what they are looking for? After years of going places they find out 
that they are the source themselves. It stuns them into silent laughter for 
sure. It all works the same as the chicken and the egg. Who came first? No 
big deal! 

When we take this illusionary time away - no one is first or last 
- everything just sits there! It's just like a cell dividing itself on TV - 
they just split into two because they became too big for their own good. 
Life is a dream of many things, but there is but one dreamer. Most likely 
it's an infinite Holographic Light - splitting itself into pieces of 
different colored Light that move about chasing shadows of their own making. 
Why bother...

I figure that you and I could save these people who are looking for their 
source, a lot of looking if they but listen to us old Geezers. As you know, 
our source or the beginning is our subconsciousness, it's our Soul and it is 
the same thing other people call God. There is only one of them and we 
can't miss it for we are it. I am still dumbfounded why others listen to 
others sometimes. What a waste of time and money. The whole works lives 
within. We do not live in the universe, the universe lives within us. Listen 
and you hear it rattle - we are all containing a Knowledge Mine...

Then, well, I think your chill bumps are the same as my bells ringing in my 
heart when I hear or read something that sounds true. For you I guess - it's 
kind of as if your soul has growing pains and shivers and then you get chill 
bumps. Mine are more like goose pimples with bells on them. It's of no use 
to be all the same...

Kidding some more here maybe: 
I used to know a lady and she would get shocks going through her body when 
she heard truth. She liked it so much - she began addicted to it. She began 
with sticking her bobby-pins in the receptacles around the house and finally 
ended up with a Pace-Maker for an elephant. Not sure whether all this is 
true. As you know, my imagination is a lot bigger than my truth. So beware 
of fluffy ruffles with tinges of sunshine...

You have been a Guest of the Geezer's Gobbledegook - Gerardus 
For emergencies - http://www.soulwise.net/25i-ask.htm 
(Thank you for your kind words Floyd)


To: healing_unity_movement_of_all_nations@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Date: Tue, 29 Oct 2002 12:31:52 -0800
Subject: Re: [H.U.M.A.N.] What would you do to insure World Peace?

At 07:33 PM 10/29/2002 +0000, you wrote: 
If you were a world leader, and it was up to you, to find a solution 
for world peace, what kind of action would you take?

Gerardus here: 
I will try to answer this shortly but this in and by itself is next to 
impossible. For more complete answers see: http://www.soulwise.net/25a-tgs.htm

Written in haste: 
World Peace depends on the Collective Consciousness of mankind, country by 
country. The Collective Conscious of humanity creates what is, or will be. 
This CC is influenced by the Leaders of these Countries and or the NWO and 
their tricks. They pull off these tricks in order to influence the 
population of certain countries (WTC Destruction for example). In many cases 
then, the future of mankind depends on the gullibility or the ignorance of 
the average citizen. This is why it is important for the average person to 
see through the lies and tricks of the politicians. Indifference sometimes 

The solution to world peace is education! Sometimes this is withheld on 
purpose by certain countries and leaders and people are brainwashed into 
states of indifference or worse... 

What if you knew there were countries around the world that could in 
a blink of an eye destroy planet Earth and all peoples and things on 
her. What would you do?

Gerardus here: 
Accept what is and trust that those who look after Mankind from higher 
dimensions intervene. This happens sometimes. Usually, they will not let the 
school be destroyed by the students! Further more - there is nothing one can 
do but try to raise the knowledge or awareness of our contemporaries world 
wide. Ignorance world wide is our enemy and it is used by those in Control 
- the Secret Government. Not likely would they want to destroy the entire 
world for it would spoil their power game. Knowledge or Awareness is the 
first Clue! Love or Understanding is second... 

Would you destroy them, before they could destroy you, Or, would you 
find another way?
Gerardus here: 
Again, it all depends on how stupid one is and how much influence one has 
over the buttons to be pushed. It is not a one man show - although it looks 
that way. And again - we must truth the universe we live in and the Beings 
who are in charge of mankind on earth. The leaders nowadays are the Secret 
Government or the Illuminati and they are striving for world domination by 
force and deceit. They kill opponents and those who are in the way. They 
HAVE the power to do anything they see fit. Not necessarily will they win! 
Sometimes things go wrong... 

The future of this planet lies within your choices you make this day. 
Would you chose wisely, taking the time to consider all outcomes that 
would affect all peoples or would you just re-act?

Gerardus here: 
These questions are difficult to answer because I do not have that kind of 
mind. One needs to be an all around ego-mind in order to answer the 
questions. Those kind of people are not on this list see. Some leaders 
re-act yes. But we cannot under-estimate the Illuminati. They might be 
cruel, but they are not stupid like their puppets are. Sorry George... 


I truly believe that the future of this planet depends on the choices 
we all make each and everyday. 
I pray that we all chose wisely.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, our future depends on our choices. However, we cannot choose for 
others. It is also next to impossible to change the thoughts of others for 
this is a free will planet. The collective Consciousness or Awareness of 
mankind is the Creator of what goes - unless other forces intervene. In an 
all out nuclear war for example they might intervene. I do not know and 
cannot know - because I am not in their position. But if it was up to me - I 
would not let the school be destroyed because the students have been 
brainwashed. That would mean I would have to intervene and make those 
Nuclear Toys inoperable... No big deal...

In the mean time, this world is where Souls come to have their experiences. 
There are no good and or bad experiences from a cosmic point of view. Wisdom 
is the result of Experience and we are here to have them - each of us in 
our own way. We all create our own reality irregardless of who fights who 
and/or gets killed...

Peace is an inner thing! 
It radiates itself around us wherever we find ourselves - Gerardus 


Date: Wed, 30 Oct 2002 22:20:52 -0700
Subject: Re: [TL] Stefan and Gerardus are One - somewhere...

Hello Stefan... 
I like your post and the questions. They give me a reason to be me - the 
authentic Soul I am. Hitler and Julius Caesar and all the other great actors 
in this infinite play of creation, and I - We Are One!

I will never ask you to leave TriLite. In six years or so, I have never ask 
any member to leave! I would rather abandon the whole thing than ask one 
member to leave. TriLite is a universe in miniature and whoever shows up, 
belongs. Then - "who am I?" - I leave that up to you and others to 

 All I can say is, that I am of the Light AND the Dark - for I am 
TIL in a personal expression, with tendencies toward Service To Others...
Further, if you are really interested in knowing who or what I am and 
whether I represent Light or Dark - I suggest that you read my Thoughts of 
the last 25 years, which are expressed on my pages. I suggest that you start 
with my poems and/or read my Cosmic Cookies. If you cannot see a gradual 
growth in them from beginning to end - all I can say is that you have wasted 
your time...

I am my authentic Self, speaking, a Soul on a solitary journey, within an 
infinite universe that is my mind and of which its Greatness I am but barely 
aware. My mind, this Infinity is projecting upon the screen of my limited 
awareness a shimmer of Beauty and Brilliance I dare to hold dear, for it is 
me in all my Glory and Splendor...

So be It - Gerardus the Pontiff and the Beguiler. 

Thank you for your response Gerardus. You are most gracious. I like the title you choose 
for this post. This is something that I realized early in our encounters here on your Trilite list. 
As the observer I see two souls who are very different yet very similar. The irony didn't 
escape me. I know you have done a great deal of work and really it doesn't matter much. 
What matters is "who you are". If there is any mis-take that you have adopted I want it 
illuminated. Why? Because as you said in the post title "We are one". Maybe more so
than you suppose. I am at your service or I am an odd memory. Whichever you choose. 
My challenge was to your subconscious or your soul if you will. You responded well.


Date: Tue, 05 Nov 2002 20:01:59 -0800
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: [TL] Neutralize the Sucker .. was A carnival

Hello Jim... 
The child and the observer are One. 
There are no two! 
Because Consciousness is One - Gerardus 
(There never were Two - it's all a dream)

Gerardus... Is there anything that is not a dream? Jim.

Hi Jim... 
Shortly put: YES... 
It is the Absolute Reality or Creator We Are!

Long story: 
We are the Creator dreaming! 
We dream realities that are virtual. All realities are virtual. Creation 
is/are all figments or manifestations in this dream and IS the dream! We as 
humans dream that all figments are real and actual, and think that we have 
some measure of control over our own individual aspects of this dream. 

This is so... and yet it is not... for the Creator lives within us... and IT is 
us! It does many things in an unconscious manner and this awakens it/us. 
It does terrible things sometimes for it is driven by the ego, which is a 
temporary self-awareness that comes with the body-mind as a default entity 
that lives in a dense fog in human beings. It is an illusionary self 
brainwashed by nonsense...

The Creator is the One who dreams. We as humans have the option to become 
the witness or the observer of this dream. That's why one needs to quit 
participating in the dream or action. Participation means not observing as 
much as possible for one's ego-mind is still foggy, biased or pre-occupied. 
Shortly put - Neutralize the Sucker. 

(Sorry... I am laughing like hell)
The Creator within thinks and functions as all individuals or 
semi-independent beings that dream its dream and take it for real (it's 
still a dream). During our dreams we experience different realities that 
each in their turn awaken us to so called higher realities. More and more we 
become aware in our dream so to speak. In the mean time, all realities are 
virtual realities or dream realities. Who or What experiences these virtual 
realities? It is the One Dreamer! The One We Actually Are - The Truth...

Sooner or later we awaken fully. By fully I do not necessarily mean awakening 
to the Christ or the Buddha Consciousness. This level might be but an 
intermediate stage... (Sorry Buddha)

What actually dreams?? 
It is the Infinite-Subconsciousness or Soul of Creation. 
Naturally THIS is the Creator - The Unfathomable Truth! 
I feel that some Sages called this The Void. There is no such thing. 
The Infinite Subconsciousness of all Universes is not a Void. It is Energy! 
See -- http://www.soulwise.net/25i-ask.htm

The best I can do for now - Gerardus


Date: Thu, 14 Nov 2002 12:26:11 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: The Creator's Dream is Creation...

The Creator or the Soul we are is a Dreamer and Creation is our Dream. 
Within this Dream we as human beings and as infinitely small aspect of that 
Dream have become semi-independent aspects of the Creator in that Dream. We 
seem to think independently! When we as an illusionary aspect awaken - we 
discover that we are the Creator and our Dream will have become the Reality 
of who or what we are - Creation! Creation then will be then our individual 
Expression. We will understand the following then...

 God saw that is was Good...


Date: Sun, 17 Nov 2002 11:36:41 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Temperature Debates...

Gerardus here: 
I listen to the CBC Radio sometimes and I hear scientists debating whether 
or not the earth is warming up or cooling off. No one agrees with all the 
theories of the others and in the mean time we just have to experience what 
our future temperatures on earth will be...

All this reminds me of the days I had big aquariums and no doubt the fish in 
there must have had similar temperature debates. Yes, I allot a lot of 
intelligence to fish! In any case, the fish debate went nowhere and I feel 
that the scientific debate about our earth and it future temperature are not 
going anywhere either...

I know that the temperature in my aquariums were well taken care of, for the 
temperature was maintained by my thermostat controlled heater. The fish 
never figured this out! I feel that our scientists will also never figure 
out that the temperature of the earth is in control by those who take care 
of this. No doubt these Beings are the 4D or 5D or 6D Entities who are in 
charge of these matters...

I hope to join them and others one of these days - Gerardus

Life and Truth... are the same Thing 
That is why we are the Living Truth!


To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
X-Yahoo-Profile: imualso
Mailing-List: list TriLite@yahoogroups.com; contact TriLite-owner@yahoogroups.com
Delivered-To: mailing list TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sun, 17 Nov 2002 16:57:40 -0800
Subject: Re: [TL] Battle for your Mind
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

Gerardus here: 
I am not putting you on quite fully. He was advanced in his thinking 
alright, but he made his thinking so hard to digest, that I often gave 
up on him. He uses too many words to say next to nothing. Too fancy so to 
speak. But then that's only my experience and once I understood what 
he said - "I" could put it into simple thoughts/words... 
I agree, Gerardus, that you have a gift for expressing truth in simple 
words. However, I do find that complex language such as Michael 
Topper's is good for the "yeah but" crowd -- you know, the type of 
people who stop you mid-sentence by saying, "Yeah, but..." and off they 
go on some tangent. Language like Topper's can nail down a concept and 
eliminate ambiguity, so the "yeah but" people have nothing on which to 
hang their hats. 
How's that for obfuscation?  

Hello Meredith...
Yeah, but... "obfuscation" in and by itself, as a singular word or item, 
let alone the rest of the words in your post, like "ambiguity" and possibly 
"complex", if not "can nail", is a reach for a dictionary real quick like 
(right now kind of an emergency), so I am not sure to agree or not with you 
statement immediately; or after a subtle delayed period, to throw of the 
curious crowds, if not to confuse them entirely, if that was possible by 
ordinary means instead of mind control; because the thing is in the bedroom 
room being used as a footstool by the Queen of Oliver in her need to reach a 
higher level of observation and/or scenery to watch and catch that spider on 
the ceiling above the bed, all this no doubt, is to gently remove it from 
said environment, preventing a nightmare causing entity taking over when 
bedtime arrives and would of necessity, delay proceedings after dusk or 
there about; or I could just make it real easy and take that "o" word off my 
screen and no doubt that simple maneuver would make your entire post make 
sense to my single brain cell on high alert and desperately trying to reach 
for the impossible at lightning speed in Space/Time avoiding Time/Space by 
permission of the ONE who never shows itself in and by itself in its Totality 
and/or infinite Beingness at any one time or another...

------ I tried to imitate MT
My Language: I agree and good example!
Hard to miss the point me thinks - Gerardus


Date: Tue, 26 Nov 2002 14:30:46 -0800
To: gerardus@otvcablelan.net
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Creation our Reality...

Hello Mahroukee... 
I do not completely disagree with Leonard - but for a while as yet - I see 
things from the opposite end of the spectrum or continuum. The Creator IS 
Creation! Leonard speaks strictly from the Creator's point of view as if he 
speaks for that One Only! Gerardus speak from the point of view of the many 
co-creators. Like You and Me and the Neighbours...

Also, possibly Leonard speaks of "creating" the perceptions of: "my body, my 
mate Ellen, my home, and every detail of my environment. He continues: You 
create Canada, the world, sun, stars, planets and galaxies, you even create 
me, the lot".


I only create perceptions! I do not create the "underlying cosmic energies" 
that are seen as perceptions. Any sentient being, including fools, are able 
create or see perceptions. But that is NOT what I am speaking of! Creating 
perceptions is an automatic job once one lives in a human body. Creating 
the "underlying cosmic energies" we perceive as our daily surroundings is a 
different story. 

All of these energies are collectively created by all 
co-creators who are responsible for planet earth, including the 
Consciousness of Mankind. There are millions of co-creators and most exist 
in the invisible regions. And yes, all these Beings are us and we are them - 
but NOT in a conscious manner! Also, there are millions of things to look 
after once a planet has a population of nearly seven billion human vehicles 
and trillions of animals, and zillions of insects and the like...

Most people do not even realize what it takes to run a Hospital or a 
Generating Station for example. Usually for every bed in a Hospital - four 
people are needed to run or maintain it. Means, a hundred bed hospital takes 
400 people to run it. In many ways, Planet earth is a hospital or school. 
There are millions of things to keep track of...

So what you speak about Mahrouk is true. 
Really, I did a lousy job creating you cute and small. And naturally, I also 
did not create you too wise! This is because I do not want to be out smarted 
too often so to speak. Looking at things this way is over looking a few very 
important things I figure. We overlook individual responsibility for what we 
create and or perceive...

In any case, I agree to the statement that each individual creates his own 
perceptions. While our daily surroundings or reality is a collective 
creative effort by those responsible for the Creative Dream of Planet Earth. 
Collectively we, all invisible co-creators and humanity, create the 
underlying cosmic energies. While the perceptions of this realities differ 
for all of us. All perceptions are individually created notions or choices. 
There is no way that Gerardus creates any of Leonard's birds or his coffee 
pot for example...

Only one candle - Gerardus


Date: Tue, 26 Nov 2002 20:18:52 -0800
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] YCYOR A

At 08:25 PM 11/26/2002 +0000, you wrote: 
Leonard here... 
Thank you Gerardus for you views on creating reality, I do agree with 
most of what you say. Yes, it does depend on your point of view, 
which end of the spectrum or continuum, that is your choice. I was 
attempting to acknowledge the whole truth, the whole spectrum.

Hello Leonard... 
Yes, I know that you recognize the entire Spectrum of Life. It is a bit hard 
to follow for many on TriLite, so I thought is useful to respond to your 
philosophy or point of view. Most people on TL are somewhere in between 
seeing the entire Spectrum as well as the confusion it brings to our/their 
individual understandings to only express the views from the Top of the 

Especially so for me, since I do not see self-awareness at the Top Level. 
All beings lose their ID when they enter through that Gate. I agree that at 
all times the All of All is present in full Glory within all of us, but that 
does not make it clear enough to the many to only "speak" from that level. 
Thing is, as I see things - that level never speaks in the first... 

Leonard here: 
 From your viewpoint we do create our perceptions and I maintain that 
the perceptions and the reality are one and the same. It is from 
the 'underlying cosmic energies' that our perceptions emerge. It is 
from the whole spectrum that we create these energies too. If we look 
at the evidence of quantum physics we see there is only this energy 
and the solid 3D world that we percieve is not 'real' at all. It is 
the perceiving of the energy that solidifies it into our world, and 
that procees though I accept, I do not understand.

Gerardus here: 
Maybe seeing all things as Energy or Force Fields will help to grasp their 
realities and their characteristics. All beings ARE really 
Aware-Force-Fields and interact, as well as, recognize other Force Fields. 
It's like an Electromagnetic Sensor re-acting to an Electromagnetic Force 
Field. It tells us how powerful it is and what frequency so to speak. Our 
bodies as Force Fields, and as Awarenesses however, are a million time more 
powerful and selective than our sensors, for they recognize Force Fields 
they have seen before. Familiar face we say then!

Little do we know how tremendously complicated human bodies really are. The 
thing is - the very Creator IS the Human Being or Force Field in human form. 
It however does not know this --- but some humans do! Most humans have no 
idea about the actuality of themselves. They have no clue as to who or what 
they actually are. We are all here to ease ourselves into this...

Talking about the solidness we experience: 
The solidification of realities is actually a subjective reality that we 
experience as if it is an objective reality. The point is, that we "create" 
this solid illusion just for the heck of it in order to get lost in it. We 
MUST become physical however in order to experience this! Human bodies so to 
speak "qualify" energies as solid or not. There is no other way to do it...

All realities are fake or virtual in the first place. We need a special 
instrument in order to make certain things solid. So, our body fools most 
fools. Including the greatest scientists. They somehow look right past the 
simplicity of it. Lately however, with Quantum Physics they come to the 
conclusion of the weirdness of it all. They are forced to become Sages by 
means of their Sciences...

This solidity is a most confusing issue for GodBeings educating themselves 
to what is. If we see all this as a dream - it might help to grasp the 
illusion of the dream as a temporary reality and only as long as we are 
asleep. Which most people are, including me. Within my dream though, I 
realize that I am dreaming and that waking up is the thing to do. I figure 
that this only can be done by creating my dream in a conscious manner and 
enjoy the heck out of it. Sooner or later we burst out laughing and this 
will wake us up. Pretty hard to sell this to a bloke who is under fire in a 
battle field naturally. They are completely lost in the illusion of it all... 


Leonard here: 
Of course you do not create my birds or coffee pot for you do not 
percieve them, though you do create the pictures of them that you do 
perceive, The same with Mahroukee's body, that is his perception. If 
If I did meet Mahroukee, I would perceive him differently than he 
perceives himself. We all perceive the sky as blue but we have no way 
of knowing what anothers version of blue is.

Gerardus here: 
Mahrouk is a lady in India. Bombay I think. She moves around a lot. Restless 
legs maybe. She has been on TL for a long long time and she taught me all I 
think I know. Good gracious me - it is more than I am able to remember. 
BTW: I thought that she was a male as well - Great minds ..... .....

Leonard here: 
It is interesting to note that guides and others from the spirit 
world say they see our bodies as light. They do not precieve our 3D 
world as we do. They do not possess our 3D senses to create our 

Gerardus here: 
Yes, one needs to live in a body/lens in order to see bodies and other 
physical stuff. This is why the entire Physical Creation is a Celebration of 
the First Order. For anybody else there is only Light...

If a human being knew how to expand himself again and again and again, a 
billion times and more, he would discover that he has become the Creator. 
The Creator lives within him, like the Grandfather lives within the Boy...

No doubt your birds know all this - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 01:44:36 EST
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [TL] Are we controlled ?

In a message dated 12/6/2002 10:38:54 PM Eastern Standard Time, 
gerardus@otvcablelan.net writes:

Hi Floyd... 
I wrote all that because in all my silliness I thought there were some 
people on TL who thought that they were/are totally free. In attitude yes, 
but not in a physical sense, not in a mental sense and not in a spiritual 
sense. Mankind is mind-controlled! We are Kept! Our attitudes only change 
the wall paper on our prison walls. It makes it tolerable, because the 
slogans on it say - Share your Light and Love and All Is Well. All this 
does not set us free. We need to KNOW what's going on. ONLY THAT sets us 
free. Awareness of what is does the trick. Not denial or neglect to look 
into it... 

I know it to be so because I discovered for myself. I investigated this and 
did not reject it out of hand without studying the situation. Some might 
think this nonsense! Are Chemtrails nonsense?? Study them! Is 
fluoridation nonsense? It dumbs down our brain! We do not have this to 
keep our teeth healthy! The NWO does not care about our well being - it 
cares about control. They try to keep us dumb... 

Mankind is as much an aspect of creation as any other type of Life in the 
universe. There are creatures below us and we control them and there are 
creatures above us who control us. Not recognizing THAT is missing the 
entire point of 3D Life. They are there! Study UFOs and other Life 
Expressions not directly familiar to mankind. If one calls this instilling 
fear, it means to me that they are not familiar with that kind of 
Life-Expressions. Only when we study them and know what they are like can 
eliminate fear. We need to know what is, before we can conquer Fear! We 
cannot eliminate fear about something we know next to nothing about or 

And yes, we all have to pay for gas and power, but is this really so?? 
about this. In a world where all things are free - we will be free! This 
can be, if we all worked for the good of all! Presently half of our work 
and energies goes to destruction and to the thieves in control. This does 
not have to be so! Point is, we need to become familiar with what is, 
before we can tell ourselves what we do not want anymore... 

Life means investigate everything! - Gerardus 


Hi G-Man, 
Fred here again:
I'm sorry for copying the full text of your message to Floyd, but I thought 
it might be necessary. It bears repeating.
I think there is a slight misunderstanding amongst some of us on the list 
here, and you have spelled out the parameters of our understanding very well 
here. I am most impressed, indeed!

There is no reason for one to be sad, myopic, fearful and trembling about the 
control system that exists on this planet. But denying its existence and 
pretending it has no effect upon our lives is pointless and silly. Of course 
the mind is powerful, and of course we ourselves control much of what is 
happening inside of ourselves. We also have a great deal of control over our 
perceptions, and some degree of control of our own degree and type of 
awareness. But as I put in my other recent post, none of us is an island, and 
to try to assume that we have complete control of our own destiny is only 
going to fulfill a temporary fantasy, and nothing more.

These are some of the reasons why it is important to learn. To learn how this 
third density world functions, how it operates, what and who makes it tick, 
and how. This is what is going to allow us to advance. Going into denial and 
believing that we have total power over ourselves and absolutely all of our 
experiences is not in fact helpful. And the reason for that is that this 
denies vital learning, it creates obsession, and as the Cassiopaeans said, 
obsession creates a blockage in the spiritual energy. It prevents advancement 
in a key or critical area. So then, the lessons must continue in the same 
classroom, even if in another day and time (another lifetime in 3d reality, 
in other words.).

Another hang-up that seems to be prevalent in our world these days, amongst 
those striving for higher understanding is the confusion of principles 
relating to the good/bad---positive/negative spectrum. And this is what 
allows so many to become confused and seek emotional refuge within the false 
belief system that no one and nothing else can in any way, or to any extent, 
control them. Specifically, there is no such thing as "good" and their is no 
such thing as "bad." These are completely subjective value judgments, that do 
not exist in reality. All there really is is lessons. Experiences, 
consciousness, awareness, knowledge acquisition, empowerment, learning. 
So when one, such as me, or you Gerardus, suggests to others that we are in a 
controlled environment, this is not a "bad" thing. It just is. 

It just is 
what it is, and that is it! There is no need to mope around feeling all sad 
and down because the Illuminati or the NWO, or the cabal, or whatever is in 
control of your reality. Maybe, if one could see the big picture, the REALLY 
big picture, they would see that this may in fact be just as easily viewed as 
a good thing. Except that it is not. It is a neutral thing, it just is.
But as you have pointed out, and as I have tried to point out too, becoming 
aware of the truth of our circumstance is vital, in order to make progress. 
Learning how the system on the 3D earth functions is necessary before one can 
move beyond it. 

This will happen to everyone sooner or later, the question is 
when, not if. Denying the reality of the structure and how it operates only 
delays this progress. But that is not a bad thing either, it also just is. 
The great thing about forums such as TriLite, is that the participants have a 
leg up on most others in this way. We are closer to seeing, recognizing, 
accepting and learning these things. Therefore, we are closer to advancement. 
If one would rather not advance to a higher level yet, that is perfectly 
fine. Maybe they are not yet ready to do so. Like all else, in the big 
picture, it is all good. 



Date: Sat, 07 Dec 2002 10:09:48 -0800
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] Whose truth ?

At 09:47 AM 12/7/2002 -0500, you wrote: 
floyd here:  Please indulge me once again to repeat myself. We 
most always post as though we are the authority on what we say. I would 
like to see more of "in my opinion". I know we are the authority on how 
we feel, but we don't all feel the same. This may clear up some things 
in some minds, then maybe not. Peace & Light to all.  floyd

Hello Floyd... 
In my opinion: You are right!
I feel though that when I receive an email from anyone on TriLite, or any 
other list, or from a private person, all I receive are opinions. I figure 
that TRUTH is tooo big to come by email. Besides we all have our own 
according to our opinion...

In any case, I think that many people sometimes say "I feel" or "I think" 
or "consider this" - but I suggest that from now on in whatever we receive 
by email we ought to consider as opinions. What else could they be?
I also look at it this way - Truth is what We Are - and what we read or 
hear is only an opinion. What we experience ourselves however, could 
considered to be a personal truth. And even that could be confusing or 
misleading because sometimes we come to the conclusion that there was a lot 
more involved than what we experienced in the first place. We miss things 

Sometimes I watch David Copperfield the Illusionist. I know however that 
what I experience is not the truth. He is too slick for me and millions 
more. All in all, Life is but a Game or Play by which we slowly awaken to 
greater Truths...

We are the Light, we are Life, we are the Creator, we are the Universe, we 
are Creation, we are the Truth AND when we as human beings live in a Third 
Density Environment we live in an illusion within which there are only 
opinions. IOW: there is no Truth in this reality - except for the Essence 
We Are. So all we hear see and experience for that matter are opinions...
In my opinion - Gerardus


Date: Sat, 07 Dec 2002 10:46:56 -0800
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] Re: Prison Planet

Hi, Julie here: 
Magnificent postings! 

I couldn't have put 
it better myself; it is frustrating to witness sometimes. 
There is even talk that 'they' have infiltrated the Astral 
and keep sending us back into the cycle of reincarnation 
because we follow the "white" light! Two questions then, 
if I may:- 
1. Olga is right about the fact that if we refuse to 
ALLOW them to affect our mind-pattern then we do not 
succumb to their ridiculous programming. In the meantime, 
do you think there is a specific reason WHY we are awakened 
to this knowledge at this time?

Gerardus opinion here: 
Olga is right for her - not completely for me.

I do agree however that the more awakened we are - the less we will be 
influenced by mind programming. There are however many different kinds of 
programming. Also, the very fact that millions of people are mind controlled 
AFFECTS my mind for it is the same mind. There is BUT ONE mind. Unless one 
is a Master one is affected...

Some people/members are awakened to "what is" and others seem to say to me 
on the list - "who cares what is? It might be true, but if I do not focus 
upon it, it is not going to affect me".


Some people thought the same thing at the WTC destructions. They burnt or 
jumped and were killed. All this to me is a bit of wishful thinking leaving 
out, or rejecting, the totality of what's going on in 3D. It is therefore a 
lack in knowing what 3D is all about. It does not mean that those who know 
what is - are fearful and or spread fear. How could they? - they know "what 
is". Fred's last post pointed this out quite clearly I feel. Putting certain 
people or happenings out of our focus does not make them or things go away... 

Julie here: 
And if so, do we not have 
a responsibility to attempt to change the world, and if so, 
how do we do that other than by not going to the polling 

Gerardus here: 
In my view the world is not something that needs to be fixed. We are the 
Students in the School of Earth. Students do not fix the school. They have 
their lessons and learn from them. Now, in addition to this - we are able 
to change the world ONLY by changing ourselves. What is "out there" are the 
refections of the mind of many. Fixing these reflections is useless. The 
projectors or the Mass-Mind need to change. We cannot change the mass-mind 
or the mind of others. This is not our responsibility. We can only change 
our own mind. We must become an Observer - not a fixer of the happenings 
other still need to learn from...

The New Age World is fixated by what Seth taught - You create your own 
reality - it's all fine and dandy, but it is not entirely true. We only 
create our own reality in our living room! (With the TV off) For the rest, 
the reality we experience in the world is a WE-thing and is created by 
billions in addition to the main input of the Illuminati and their bosses in 
4D. They determine the world scenarios. They do this in order to feed off 

Julie here: 
The 'hippy' in me would love to scream this stuff from the 
rooftops and march through the streets. The reality, 
though, is that it's difficult to establish HOW one can 
change the world other than by harnessing as much love and 
light energy within us and transmitting it out to the 
planet, in the hope that it will transmute the negative 
energy or light up the dark. I can see no other way, 
really, of helping humans on a Grand scale. Any ideas?

Gerardus here: 
Yes, I have ideas or opinions. 
Light and Dark are Twins! Infinite Twins - God is both of them so to speak. 
These Twins make up Creation! There is no need to fix the Dark by sending it 
Light! The task of living in 3D as a human being is "seeing through" the 
Games we play and they are Light and Dark mixed in a ratio that is balanced 
in the long run. No need for students (or infinitely tiny minds) to fix the 
Infinite Mind of the Universe that creates worlds and their inhabitants. 
Things are the way they are on purpose! See this maybe: 


Julie here: 
2. Do you think that WE will be able to escape the prison 
planet or do you think Anna Hayes, Swerdlow, etc. are the 
only ones privvy to this special knowledge? Do you feel 
that Focused Intent/desire to Ascend is enough?

Gerardus here: 
Anna Hayes and Swerdlow both have opinions on what is truth and what is not. 
So have you, so have I. AND certainly I do not think that there are but two 
sources that need to be followed. As matter of fact, the only source to pay 
attention to is the Soul We are. The Light within! And it is better to 
listen to our own tiny light/voice than FOLLOWING anybody else. We all live 
our own live and must do this in an authentic manner. It's better to 
stumble on our own than to march in great columns of truth proclaimed by 
some other person. Naturally, this in only my opinion and you must do what 
you must do... 

Julie here: 
BTW, lovely one by the Maharishi - love to see people in 
power sticking their necks out although I have a tiny 
reservation about Scientists being in power.

Gerardus here: 
We have a member on TL who says: "God is a computer and we are its display". 
The more I get to know - the more this sound true to me. Instead of the word 
Computer you may instead use the word Scientist. My point is - in my opinion 
- there is not God or Creator. There are only Co-Creators and all of them 
are scientists and/or very learned people. They do not ooze Love - they ooze 
opportunities for all of us to follow in their food steps. Means learning 
what is and overcoming our limitations...

Only one Candle - Gerardus


Date: Sun, 08 Dec 2002 22:04:48 -0800
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [TL] LOVE

At 12:14 AM 12/9/2002 -0500, you wrote:
(Gerardus)Suppose there is only Universal Energy within which only 
Co-Creators exist and no Main Top Creator? >>>

I see what you mean, and what I was trying to express was not that the 
Universe is subject to feelings, but rather this Energy is the source of 
all feeling/experience/possibility.

Gerardus here:
Yes, I get your point. I say the same things different maybe. Here it is:
These feelings/experiences/possibilities can only be expressed and/or 
experienced by the Created, of which all Co-Creators are participants. As 
I see it, the whole thing works as the Power of Electricity feeding all 
Appliances. Only the appliances know or experience. Not the Source of Power 
or the Universal Energy...

The Universal Energy could be unfeeling towards Creation - but the 
Co-Creators have their own feelings and nature by which they creates 
planets and creatures. 

It's interesting to ponder just how feelings and preferences come into 
play with these co-creators. Far beyond my capacity to try and come up 
with an explanation, though!

Gerardus here:
Yes, we are co-creators as well! We experience these feelings. How does 
anything come about? I do not know. I do not think that this can be 
included within human understanding. But what I see is this --- All 
Thoughts or Things are Energy Force Fields with specific characteristics 
that are capable of recognizing other Energy Force Fields. They compare 
themselves to others! They match and notice and record again that what 
they have experienced. (I do not know How precisely)...

I feel that all things and feelings are an expression of the Whole, that in 
and by itself does not have to participate in a conscious manner since the 
created are the conscious participants and together are the Whole in the 
first place. So, the Created are not One Thing as such but make up the 
many and have an Underlying Oneness - the Infinite Subconsciousness (The 
IS). The Infinite Subconsciousness of Creation *is* the Creative Energy / 
The Creator / or Power Source ---> but not consciously aware of anything. 
No need for it, for the Created or the Creation or the Christ already is 
conscious of all that is. The Created or Creation *is* the Christ or Buddha...

There are no mysteries only puzzles and lessons - Gerardus

Alexander works far away and is away from Home often.


Date: Sun, 22 Dec 2002 10:44:26 -0800
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [TL] consciousness
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

At 07:32 AM 12/22/2002 +0000, you wrote: 
Leonard here.....trying again! 
Gerardus says... 
Thank you for your kind words. The Soul or Spirit within me is an 
aspect of the Infinite Creator. It is limited to a particular level 
of awareness in order to experience a specific aspect of creation 
called Gerardus and his emails, pages and poems. The Creator we all 
are an aspect of - CANNOT enjoy Creation in Total by means of one 
Gerardus at this time. No doubt other times and other lives will 
arrive. As a matter of fact they already have. They are Leonard, 
Raven and another few billion times a Zillions Beings. Some are 
Aliens with a negative orientation. We all play the Game of Creation 
our own way... 
Who can blame us? - Gerardus 
Leonard here... 
The Soul or Spirit within me is not an aspect of the Infinite 
Creator....IT IS THE INFINITE CREATOR. It is not limited but whole, 
and only my consciousness of it is limited. We are not 'aspects' we 
are 'wholes'... there are no bits missing from your 'aspect' unless 
you assume that there are....hence YCYOR.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, I agree with you! 
There is only One Energy which functions as if it is an infinite amount 
of individual beings and/or co-creators.
! The One is and functions as the Many !

We are the Whole but "function" as a particular aspect. An aspect is a 
specific "feature" or "characteristic" of the Whole in my view. In the 
first place, all this to me, is but a matter of semantics - words words 
words. They do not mean much. As I see and experience it in the moment of 
nowness - the I AM in the form and function of Gerardus - CAN only 
consciously BE what he amounts to in a practical sense.
Practicality IS Spirituality to me...

Gerardus does not FUNCTION *AS* the Entire Infinite Whole. This is why I do 
not use the same terminology as you do (I used to in my Poems and my 
Cookies). It also is easier on people not familiar with what they really 
are. If you tell them YOU ARE THE CREATOR - PERIOD --- they walk away from 
you and you have conveyed absolutely nothing! Eventually we all figure out 
who or what we really are anyway...

Here is also what I think of YCYOR - we as human beings only create our own 
perceptions! Perceptions Only!! As human beings we do not create the 
underlying reality of the Universal Mind and its infinite nuances in and out 
of time. This is the result of ALL individual co-creators, high and low, 
and/or all Beings and Creatures as such, including ourselves - in and out of 

I have written about all this extensively in 

And in my other latest articles.
Here is a small excerpt of the article above.
Our subconsciousness is our Soul and our Soul is The IS... 
We are instruments of our Soul, we are thought-forms, while our Soul and/or 
all Souls are instruments of the Creator, they are the Representatives of 
the Creator. The Creator, The IS - is the deepest level of our own 
subconsciousness. So, the human beings we are, and our Souls, emerge from 
the Infinite Subconsciousness we call the Creator. By reading this, it all 
seems as if all these different subconsciousnesses are three or four or 
multi different forces, this is not so. In actuality they are One. They are 
aspects of each other! There is only One Energy - this Energy is Creation or 
The IS. The IS contains All! When we look at this again, we could say: that 
our subconsciousness is our Soul and our Soul is The IS. Which is the 
Underlying Reality of the Totality of Creation. It sustains Creation and is 

The Creator or The IS and our subconsciousness are One... 
We are as much an aspect of The IS, as that The IS makes up the totality of 
ourselves. We are One and each other. There is only One Being or Energy in 
the universe and it is the Infinite Subconsciousness or The IS. The IS 
produces and -is- the universe or creation. So again, The IS and our 
subconsciousness are One! This is why it is possible to expand infinitely 
upon our own awareness or greatness. Living as a human being is a specific 
aspect or nature of this expansion. Expansion or reaching for a greater 
awareness is our goal! Naturally this takes Time because we as human beings 
live in Time and Space at present. In the mean time, the Soul we are an 
instrument of - lives beyond time. It is able to travel Time and no doubt it 
visits all its instruments occasionally and it is always available when we 
are in trouble. For the Soul, all its instruments live within its own 
beingness or energy. The Soul is like an energy-balloon without the balloon. 
Human beings exist or float within this virtual balloon and they are 
reflections of their Soul in matter. We could say therefore: human beings 
are expressions in matter of their Soul or Subconsciousness... 

Leonard here: 
The 'Intuition' is the soul (super)consciousness, the 'reason' is the 
mind consciousness...reason is a very limited tool whilst intuition 
is unlimited. Most of what we do is intuitive, our mental and 
physical activities. It is only when we use reason that we close 
down the intuition and become just illusionary aspects. 
I am aspecting now...but returning to wholing and Love, Leonard.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, I agree! Our intuition is the actual "Subconsciousness of Creation" 
and we have access to it. In order to become familiar with how to access 
this infinite knowing we are living specific lifetimes as human being so 
that we may learn to use our subconscious knowing. In the mean time we 
can only function by means of what we know or are aware of. As a human 
beings this is relatively little compared to what there is to know. 
That is why some of us say: I know nothing! And that is ALL I know...
Knowing will always be relative... 

There is not one being who knows it all - Gerardus 
(The Creator is an unconscious Force - by that I mean - Not Self-Aware!)


Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 20:26:31 -0800
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [TL] thoughtless presence
Reply-To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com

At 06:45 PM 12/25/2002 -0800, you wrote: 
Hallo Gerardus, Gerard here,  
For a long time I have the feeling that in our 
discussions one important point is missing (or that I 
missed that point because I haven't read everything). 
I have thought about it for months before I write it 
down and I hope I can make myself understood.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, I think you will as usual... 
Gerard here: 
Reading about: " I am the creator, I shape my own 
reality, I have free will, I desire to move from 3D to 
4D etc." , I have been wondering: "who is this I".

Gerardus here: 
This I is an Illusionary Self and in actuality does not exist. We are 
illusions! However, in the dream of the Creator We Are - we do exist. The 
dream is real! It is the dreamer that needs to be awakened by its 
experiences. We are this illusionary dreamer. It is the figment or main 
character of its own dream. There are only dreams and as human beings we 
live those dreams as virtual lifetimes in order to discover the Real "I" We 
Are, and in order to know what we as the real "I" can do and dream about. 
Our Life is a Play of the "I"... 

Gerard here: 
For me a man is a wave in the infinite ocean of life. 
Like a wave, when you personalize it, can claim: "I 
was born on the coast of Peru, formed by the tide, the 
wind and the ocean, I am so old, so wide, so strong 
etc. In reality, however, the wave is just an 
excitation of the ocean, is the ocean when it calms 

Gerardus here: 
What you say is so, but as long as the wave is a wave it behaves and thinks 
like a wave. It is real within its self-created dream or reality - which is 
an illusion. The outside Life of Mind is that way. It is Creation being 
itself - which is the Creator dreaming. The Creator dreams and Creation is 
its dream. Creation IS you IS me IS everybody. It is ONE Energy doing its 
Thing infinitely...

Gerard here: 
Like the wave I can say: "I am Gerard, 71 years old, 
retired, wife, children etc. I refer to all kinds of 
objects to identify myself but in the mean time I know 
that I am a ripple in the infinite ocean of 
consciousness in motion and when my mind rests I am 
this ocean of life, infinite, unbounded, eternal, 
invincible etc.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, You are the Ocean - absolutely so! 
Why do you come back and be a wave again? 
You do - because the Ocean is also waves periodically... 

Gerard here: 
In Indian philosophy they speak about the self and the 
higher Self. The problem is that the higher Self has 
no I to it. Experiencing it in deep meditation it is 
just what we talked about the other day: "thoughtless 
presence", no I, no desire, no thought, just "presence 
or awareness". In that state I am out of the state of 
duality, relativity, mind. I transcended all that. You 
can have this state together with waking, dreaming or 
sleeping and when you have it permanently it is called 
Cosmic Consciousness.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, indeed! Well expressed. The thing is, that we as the "I" have 
committed ourselves to dream and be creation. You do not have to be! Yet, 
you come back. Is it because you are still teaching yourself ( and others) 
about all this? I think so. We play the game and get lost. Sooner or later 
we see that it is a game and we slowly but surely escape from the 
playground. This takes time and endurance. We set it up that way. If the 
task was to be the "Presence" only forever - there would be no Creation or 
any expression of this "Presence". We would have missed knowing our 
capabilities and/or potentials of being Creation in all its beautiful and 
sordid details... 

Gerard here: 
The points I want to make are: 
1. It's the nature of the mind to go in, because left 
to itself the mind goes in and the small self wants to 
become big Self and finds fulfillment there. Out of 
the sphere of relativity you find fulfillment in your 
own Self. By thinking about all problems of life we 
bind the mind to the surface, we keep it busy, have it 
explore all avenues of life and keep it from going in. 
I think there should be a balance between going out 
and going in. And to say it clearly, going in is 
essential, going out is entertainment.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, to attain this balance and be able to voluntarily change back and forth 
is the ideal situation and we are all working towards that goal. YET - I say 
YET! - the goal already has been reached a billion times a billion, for we 
have been before were we now stumble - to erect ourselves and continue the 
journey to but another end - that is yet the same - The Presence or Infinite 
Light We Are...

To be "there" or to be "here" is neither here nor there - for we are ALL in 
all positions and/or beings at all times in the first place. To think 
differently is being subjected to the illusionary reality of being lost in 
ignorance. It makes the Play. So, the only difference is that we at this 
moment in this infinite dream are focused as you and I, possibly thinking 
that we need to go somewhere. This is not so! All that needs to be done is 
to enjoy the moment to its utmost and laugh at the whole of it. Laughter is 
the highway to freedom, while at the same time we are free to laugh or cry. 
Life is the expression of our needs... 

Gerard here: 
2. In my humble opinion it doesn't make much 
difference if I go from 3D to 4D because in 4D I am 
still in the field of relativity, of excitation and 
the purpose of life is to transcend all relativity to 
come to experience THAT of which the Gita says: " I am 
That, thou art That, everything is That". For me That 
is pure consciousness, bliss, silence, thoughtless 
presence, home, a screen on which the images of life 
play without affecting the screen.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, you are absolutely right! Please consider this - moving from one 
density to another is as much a natural progression as the boy becoming the 
father and the father becoming the grandfather. It all belongs to Life in 
Total and the Nature of it. Yet - you may return to The Presence anytime you 
desire to do so by meditation or for good - but if you decide to do this for 
good - you would miss the last half of the journey I call the Progression of 
Consciousness. We would miss you as well...

It kind of means to jump from grade three to grade twelve because you are 
smart enough to skip all these grades. In the mean time, others would miss 
you wherever you are not. Again - there is nowhere to go or to be promoted 
to - except the movement from one plane to another, which is the nature of 
our being and can be the enjoyment of the moment. To enjoy this to 
perfection is what needs to be learned. If you mastered it and left, your 
posts would be missed on TriLite for those who need to see The Infinite 
Light within themselves AS their self in transit through the planes of their 
expression or Creation as a 

Gerard here: 
I could elaborate more on this but I would like to 
know if I made myself clear and if it is a point of 
discussion for the group. I am just telling about my 
feelings and I have had them for a long time so one 
day I had to write them down. Which I did now. Gerard

Gerardus here: 
You have expressed in words what I have contemplated myself. I have tried to 
express this in my articles possibly, but you have put your finger on the 
Know of Being. Why this - why that? In actuality, it does not make one iota 
of a difference what we do or not do - the only task is to enjoy who or what 
we are by being what we do. We laugh - God laughs! You do it your way - I 
do it my way. Great Thoughts - excellent post and please keep them coming...

To celebrate our diversity with understanding is what Life is for - Gerardus


Date: Fri, 27 Dec 2002 10:14:51 -0800
To: TriLite@yahoogroups.com
From: Gerardus 
Subject: Re: [TL] presence

*Gerard here: 
Yes, all life is about awakening. My 
point is that awakening can only happen by going in, 
by experiencing my inner Self, contacting the kingdom 
of heaven like the Bible says. With me it happened 
that way and I wonder if all discussions on TriLite 
can bring this about.

Gerardus here: 
You say that awakening happened to you when you experienced your inner self. 
My question now is: what does it mean to be awakened? What is it to you? 
How much awakened is awakened? What is full awakening? By being awakened - 
I MEAN/UNDERSTAND that one has attained the Buddha or Christ Consciousness. 
Is that what happened?

Discussions on TriLite are part or aspects or "doorways" of/to waking up, 
they are aspects of learning. Getting to know! TriLite is like a 
teaching-device and the posts are lessons. Naturally, the best lesson is 
experience. In a way TL is an experience as well. Discussions make us think, 
and especially so when we have to convey our thought to others in a fashion 
that makes sense. And no, it is not likely that by reading anybody's post 
that all of a sudden one becomes fully awakened. At most, or even at least, 
we can have AHA Moments. A tiny light goes on and we say: Right! - that is 
the way it is. It enlightens us - full enlightenment to me is full 
awakening. Possibly the Inner Self comes down and occupies the body in a 
greater sense and or maybe even fully. I do not know - I am not fully 
awakened and am still learning...

Then, I feel that we all walk different paths and for some of us this means 
that we meditate and experience our inner Self, while for others we try to 
explain certain understanding in words and by golly all of a sudden we 
understand things even better ourselves. Especially so, if our writing is 
like channeling. The words and thereby understandings just come or happen. 
Another thing is, that many of us live Dominant Lifetimes, but very very few 
of us live a lifetime within which we fully awaken. How is a fellow living 
a dominant lifetime going to fully awaken? Fat chance. It's not his turn...

Enlightenment to me also means - having Knowledge! Wisdom! Being Wise! 
This can come many ways including by meditation naturally. Or by inspirations 
or intuitions. Last point on this one: I do not think that enlightenment or 
awakening is something we can consciously search or look for. When the time 
is ripe IT will come and look for us. We can long for it, but in a way this 
means that we are not quite happy with the way things are. In the mean 
time, these are my opinions and by no means let they stop you from doing 
what you feel right... 

Gerard here: 
To go out brings you further 
away from yourself, to go in brings you into contact 
with That by which everything else is known. My 
question is if intellect can dissolve the ego like 
experiencing the Self can. I think we underestimate 
the power of going in. But, maybe, this illusionary 
dreamer is just talking in his sleep.

Gerardus here: 
Well, ALL those not yet awakened - are asleep. So we are all sleep-talking. 
You said: "But, maybe, this illusionary dreamer is just talking in his 
sleep". Means to me that you are not quite sure either...

In the mean time, you bring up a valuable point about going within. There 
must be a balance and an inner need to go in, or not go in. Life has many 
purposes. If it was only about going in - why did we come to earth? I 
figure that we all do what we need to do and the one person cannot say that 
this is better and this is not. We are all different and I feel that only a 
fully awakened master CAN know what others should do. Usually they just sit 
there and smile. They know that all is as it should be! Leaves all of us to 
doing what feels right for us. The Inner Self is the One who will urge us to 
do what's next. It is expressed in feelings I figure... 

Gerard here: 
I only respond to the first part of our discussion. 
The rest will follow later and in connection with 
waking up I found a nice story from Anthony the Mello, 
which I like and which follows here.

Gerardus here: 
Yes, we can discuss the rest later. Plenty of time... 

I will read de Mellow now and then send this post to TL - Gerardus